summer is here. :)

before tp started; horsing around with photobooth

after tp, life's been good. we keep saying it's our last chance ever to relax, chill out and have fun before we are released to schools to bear to brunt of working life and horrible students.

summer is here early and it's hotter than ever. coupled with fieldtrips to sungei buloh wetland reserve, labrador park rocky shore and macritchie nature reserve, makes for plenty of heat rashes, mozzie bites, sticky skin, cold drinks, air-con blasting.

time has been mostly spent with my crazy nie friends. my other friends are all working in the day. so gatherings, dinners, lunches, movies, east coast park, badminton, weddings (indian temple, catholic church, zoo reception) etc. have been spent with them.

we have eaten everywhere in singapore. we have travelled everywhere in singapore. east, west, north west, northeast, south, central. from city center, traffic jams to the most ulu parts of singapore.

i'm reminded that love is all around. :)

i have started baking again. :) to which i'm very happy about.

i have learnt a lot about plants, sea creatures, animals and birds.

i'm falling in love with my new DSLR and lens. awesome photos.

i love the american idol finale. i love both kris allen and adam lambert. i love the 10,000 performances for the finale show. i love that some kind souls on the internet have made the m*p3s of the performances and studio versions of the songs available. :) and i like the music education i get from american idol.

i realized that kris allen's cover of bob dylan's to make you feel my love, makes me cry.

i have learnt that hope in God's promises is what drives me day to day. and i have to be conscious of His promises so i do not lose sight of what is important in life. that i don't drift from event to event, job to job, day by day. and to see His creations so diverse, creative and lovely, however small and insignificant they may be.

sea anemones

inter-tidal zone of labrador park rocky shores

great is Thy faithfulness.

this week is a terror week. i'm being slammed with assignments, presentations, projects and essays left right center. but while the process of doing work is tiring and sluggish (oh so sian), my mind is constantly challenged by said assignments, presentations, projects and essays.

one to re-examine again my own stance and personal beliefs with regards to people with special needs and autism especially. i do miss my days of volunteering at autism children's center.

another one to think about the social implications of the current education landscape and the people involved.

but more importantly, this week was more than just thoughts on school work. i find myself thinking more, and i do welcome it. i hate to find my mind idling away like a car stuck in a traffic jam.

probably the one that carries the most weight is the news of my beloved cousin, all of 18 years old, lying in the neuro ICU, her brain swollen, on a respirator, "stable but critical", unable to predict if she will ever wake up and recover. to get her A-level results. to go to university. to get married and have children.

and it thoroughly pains me, that something i always watch on tv and taken for granted, can hit so close to home. as much as i try not to admit, it is just different with family. with SQ's and HY's homegoing, the sadness i felt was more distant comparatively, but i can replace the sadness and anguish with joy that they have been called home to be with the Lord, which is a most wonderful thing.

i think about how life is so fleeting. i watched the curious case of benjamin button, and this one truth stood out to me, among others (love has to happen at the right time for both individuals = timing is everything).

"the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" was mentioned. as the clock moves backwards and lives were lost in the war, benjamin button was born to age backwards. when the pastor so-called "healed" and made old frail-looking benjamin walk (you would know that he would walk 'cos he's again backwards, so this healing is NOT TRUE), the pastor dropped and died. (note: this is a plot device for the theme).

as the movie closes, death is everywhere. from the female character, to the victims of hurricane katrina. to the clock which moves backwards taken down from the new orleans train station, abandoned in a warehouse, and drowned by the incoming flood waters.

i've been reading psalm 39. i was reminded again how fragile life is. David's psalms are always filled with much description of his anguish and pain.

"...Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor."
- Psalm 39:5b

"...You make his beauty melt away like a moth;
Surely every man is vapor."
- Psalm 39:11b

vapor, lighter than air. that's us. insignificant, small, nothing.

"“LORD, make me to know my end,
And what is the measure of my days,
That I may know how frail I am."
- Psalm 39:4

But we can rejoice. for we can hope in the Lord.

“And now, Lord, what do I wait for?
My hope is in You."
- Psalm 39:7

sunday's class with pastor mitch was a timely reminder again to seek the Lord first above all else. before doing anything. after every terrible news. that i should be conscious of the Lord through each day. and that makes coping with difficult times better and more manageable. that we can overcome anything, because though we are weak, we are made perfect in His strength, grace and mercy. that even when we sin, falter and slip away, He is always faithful. He is always there, comforting me with His Word.

and that's why this song (in title of post) is held dear to my heart this week.

great is Thy faithfulness
great is Thy faithfulness
morning by morning
new mercies i see

all i have needed
Thy hand hath provided
great is Thy faithfulness
Lord, unto me

pardon for sin and
a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence
to cheer and to guide

strength for today and
bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine,
with ten thousand beside

- great is Thy faithfulness

retail therapying.

ok so the batam trip didn't materialise. which was met with a half-hearted sadness, having spent many many dollars helping the singapore economy grow this weekend. (1 bag, 1 dress, 2 tops, 1 book, 1 magazine, 1 pair of shoes, 4 CDs - david cook, john coltrane, sting, johnny cash, 2 DVD TV boxsets, 2 movie DVDs). in my defense, 90% of my loot is discounted heavily. :)
anyways thanks to J our batam trip has been miraculously transformed to a paintball trip, a BBQ+wii+games+rock band overnighter. yay.

(just realised my 4 new CDs are really a strange mix. eclectic. sounds nicer.)

my service learning project is over! in the midst of the planning frenzy and all the last-minute drama, all my frustrations were replaced with joy and love for the sweet children i met over the course of the 2 days. and i admit i play favourites with children that are lovely and cute and sweet and some who say the darnest things.

(in response to a boy who was throwing tantrums at the reception area) this girl looked up nonchalantly from her drawing and colouring and remarked,
"i feel like throwing naughty children down the rubbish bin... and flush them down the toilet."

someone please slap me if i spend anymore money before my japan trip (with the exception of c&k warehouse sale).

and speaking of trips, berlin photos are here. :)


the brandenberg gate in its sun-shined glory. :)


yummy breakfast at a breakfast joint opposite the train station.


the amazing marble artwork on the pillars of the entrance to the Reichstag. the reichstag first housed the parliament of the german empire, before hitler wrecked havoc, overthrew the government, declared dictatorship and you know the rest. reichstag was burnt down to the ground during the nazi years and they rebuilt it.

the roof of the reichstag.


the inside of the dome. amazing architecture.


the glass roof of the dome on the reichstag building. so beautiful.



this is currywurst, everyone. german sausages with curry powder and tomato sauce. really really good. road-side and delish. :)

the WWII memorial. in the middle of the city.


an old church in the shopping district of berlin. it's partially destroyed by the war, bombed by the allied forces. they left the destroyed bits as they were, perhaps as a reminder of the horrors.


shian, my dear friend on attachment in berlin, showed us around and brought us around for good food and provided free accomm. :) and my banana beer, oh-so-good part 1.


this is oh-so-good part 2. pork knuckle! my travel mates and i were already dreaming of this, german beer and german sausages before we even came to germany. :) :)

the end of madness!

the ground of the WWII memorial
berlin, germany

my semester is over! well short of one final comm skills lesson tmr, and 3 assignments to complete over the holidays, but still! i'm in the midst of the OC season 2 dvd marathon. boy, do i miss it. and i just finished studio 60 on the sunset strip on dvds. and the subtitles help with the rapid-fire dialogue, so i'm quite glad to bask in aaron sorkin's genius writing since the west wing ended.

well this holidays i'm looking forward to the sister being back from all her travels and finnish work and tell me all her stories. plus christmas! i love the songs for this year's concert, as always. and learning choreo for big dance numbers are always tiring but i shall press on and find my youthful energy again! there's also a batam trip, a japan trip, and a pending bangkok and hongkong trip. yay. with trips-planning comes thinking about past trips.

germany photos are akan datang!

beyond what i am able.

on a ferryboat
en route: bainbridge island to downtown seattle, USA
may 2007

another trying week gone. and the Lord has graciously kept me and answered my desperate prayers for strength, wisdom, perspective and stillness. though i still get nerves for presentation, i can rejoice in the Lord's goodness and His presence.

i wish i could learn how to sail. there's something exciting yet therapeutic about hauling those ropes and tying knots and seeing the sails get caught in the wind. something about getting your sails to that prime position for the wind to carry your boat. something like of all the things we want to control, ultimately it is letting go and letting God lead us to wherever He has planned for us to go.

another week starts. less hectic, but still stressful nonetheless. looking forward to December while i prepare my heart for christmas and reflect on the year. and how comforting it is to know that.

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man;
but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able,
but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

learning to breathe.

it's really nice to laugh again.

a long lunch with mr. v, mr. d, mr. j and ms. c led to 2 hours of laughing and getting-to-know-one-another and just chatting about life.

watching my favorite shows online again.
b&s offered great lines for rob lowe's character, sally field and calista flockhart.
heroes set up a series of big arcs for the next 9 episodes in the first volume of the season - yay more flash forwards and new powers.
grey's anatomy continued its soapy opera, which is my guilty pleasure.
house continues to make me laugh and intrigued by the cases (which is amazing: the endless supply of amazing radical out-of-this-world medical mysteries).
private practice is something i'm watching 'cos of addison the character and tim daly the actor. (:

i miss lost.

and the thing that makes me laugh these days: tina fe*y as sarah pa*lin. tina fe*y has the best and most spot-on impersonation of the veep candidate and she's hilarious! watching her exaggerate every wink, silly, dumb-"blonde", incoherent, incompetent, answer-evading move of sarah pa*lin is hilarious. she even talks like her and has the same twang. which i find the most annoying. tina fe*y is so gifted she totally deserves her Emmy.

***

well school is turning into madness. i'm trying to stay afloat in the midst of all of it. i am consciously reminding myself that my strength is not enough and not perfect for this, and by His grace and love, that my weakness is made perfect in HIS strength. and that wisdom is more important now than ever.

strength and wisdom. the subject of my prayers of late.

i just finished writing an article on Trust for the ypg website, and i'm very glad i did it. through the writing, i find myself even more convicted in my trust in the Lord that He will see me through my days. and these days are times i need it more than ever.

next week is madness week. i have something due EVERY DAY of the week. be it presentationS/teaching/assignmentS. and i know the only way to go through it and do it well is to keep my eyes, ears, heart and mind on the Lord and His Word. (:

mel shared this verse with me and i truly found it encouraging, so it shall be my verse of the week.

"I would have lost heart,
unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!"
- Psalm 27:13-14

shall i compare thee to a summer's day?

the fading of a summer's day
coastline of santa barbara, california

as i was browsing around and searching for a poem to read and present in communication skills class, i came across several that left me pondering about literature and the use of poems to convey emotions and ideas and knowledge.

in the opening episode of this season of heroes, mohinder suresh narrates his usual epilogue consisting entirely the poem "the second coming" by yeats. and the poem is SO deep and full of meaning that i'm sure the average viewer will not bother to dissect. besides i have trouble relating the plot arcs that are set up in the episode to the poem.

anyway, the poem was way too scary and depressing so i didn't want to read that in class (although one classmate read something along the same lines). i went for the other extreme - love poems. (: and after looking through several by blake and all, i chose a sonnet by william shakespeare.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date;

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee."

- Sonnet XVIII, William Shakespeare

it's a beautiful poem and i really like it. (: it makes me feel happy and warm.

***

the many lessons on metacognition, constructivism, educational psychology, philosophy of science and etc. have been leaving me with so many thoughts lately. sometimes i don't even know where to start. having thoughts is one thing, collecting them to put in a coherent manner is another.

let me sort out my life first.

the end of an era.

been feeling sort of quiet and whimsical of late.

returning to a home of comfort and familiarity deeply contrasts with the nomadic lifestyle of discovery and learning when i traveled through europe for a month. it was truly a great trip, with lots of things to see and do, going from city to city, meeting interesting people, and witnessing the grace of God in cities with notorious dangers of robbery, kidnap, pickpocketing, fraud and so much more. and seeing the Lord's hand of guidance, as well as His creations being crafted out in the form of the mountains and valleys, rivers and lakes, flora and fauna, the stories of former great kings and the stories of the Bible, coming alive right in front of your eyes. and these are just the highlights of the the highlights. more to come as i blog city by city.

returning home was sad. especially when your last stop was the beautiful city of paris. when asked (at the effiel tower, no less) what were his thoughts on returning home after his graduation trip, my new-found s'porean friend succinctly replied in one word, "depressing". (:

well, i returned to reality. reality equals admin work, enrolling in NIE, going through a teacher preparatory program at NIE before starting my 1-month stint at temasek secondary. i wonder what are the repercussions of me going into teaching. would i have to give up my lifestyle of blogging and facebooking and chilling out at pubs? would my students respect me more or less? the education scene in singapore is rapidly changing and i wouldn't know until i'm in it. but meanwhile, i have another year of studying to go.

okay, reality also meant catching up on my tv shows grey's, lost, house, american idol and project runway. yep i'm a month behind. and not to mention the SATC movie, which i adored completely and watching it with my sister brought back many fond memories of discovering SATC DVDs and falling in love with the girls and the men and the clothes and the shoes. as well as getting educated about life (and sex).

of course, coming home also meant catching up with friends. i felt detached from everyone at home, even when i received my results and my honors classification, and not knowing what everyone else got. nevertheless, outside of being kaypoh, i love my friends. and it's hard to think about my friends from biological sciences while i flipped through our graduation dinner and dance photos.

it's hard to go from 4 years of playing and studying together to the real world away from the comforts of the walls of our school. but all good things have to end, and i'm glad ours ended in a most thoughtful and positive and hilarious way, not to mention i got sabo-ed onto stage to dance with my kazakhstan friend. and it set the stage for the beginning of our lives, sealed the bond that we had as a class, of 2008. and i'm looking forward to us getting our certs and throwing our mortar boards into the air after convocation.