Friday, February 29, 2008

the leap between time and space.

happy 29th feb. (:

today over lunch, joyce and i were just talking about those days. days of faded polka dotted skirts and lugging our heavy bags to tuition at mr. lim's. over prawn mee in ulusville, which took a treacherous hike at the back of biopolis and crossing the train tracks, making sure you look both ways before stepping on the tracks. what a mid-day adventure.

so 8 years ago this day, i was 15. probably had a long day at school. sec 3, can you imagine. and i'm glad to have my crazy bunch of secondary school friends. we have weathered much turmoil and individual epiphanies while growing up and yet still managed to stay friends and meet up often.

4 years ago i also had a day in school, relief teaching at my alma mater primary school. hmmm that's not very exciting, but thinking about these 2 days made me thinking a lot about time. considering teaching is on my career list for the next 4 years.

time is constant, but am i the only one who thinks that the idea of combining the 0.25 days in a year to one day once every 4 years is a little warped? who decided that such a thing can be done?

but through the years, i've learnt that time is not a fixed construct. i remember someone writing to me about this very subject. that the most joyous of times pass us by as a fleeting moment, never allowing us to savor the minute for a longer time. and the most painful of times seem to drag on, as if time is mocking us.

~

by the way, the idea that it's march already is starting to scare me. where did jan and feb go?

FYP is going into overdrive. results means clearing it with boss, and discussions with boss means he'll suggest more ways to make the results more beautiful and credible and publication-standard. more ways means more experiments, means more work for me, means more things will go into the thesis, means more writing and editing x1000, means everyday i'm swamped at work.

oh shoot. i just left my fishes in the incubator. and its the weekend. by monday they'll be 5 days old. argh.

~

we bid farewell to mingfei, the last of bethanyians to leave for further studies. he's off to sydney, which is a city that i like very much. if only they were less racist i'd like it much more.

mingfei, it's my prayer that you'd discover what God has in store for you and that you'd continue to walk faithfully with Him and keep learning and seek to be a testimony to others around you in sydney. i look forward to you being back! (:

~

the obama campaign is invading my email inbox with dozens of campaign stuff. i was wondering where in the world did they get my email add, then i remembered i signed up at his website when i took the political science class at UW, after my prof cited his campaign as an example of the idea of ownership and personalization in marketing and advertising, which is seen in all kinds, including political marketing.

well the latest slew of emails stated that the campaign has reached its goal of 1 million donors before the march 4th ohio, texas primaries. it's amazing that 1 million people donated to his campaign. i wonder if that includes me, since i'm the proud owner of...

in which proceeds goes to his campaign. (: haha yes. i'm all for change in america.

thank you alvin, for braving the seattle rally of epic proportions to snag me obama stuff. (:

~

had dinner at shoduko (i think that's how you spell it) with my 2nd sis and justina. before that justina and i wandered around kate spade and coach. ahhhh.

then we queued up for like 20 minutes before getting a table. the food's not bad. i love japanese food so all's good for me.

we ate SO much, complete with sake. cheers.

then we still proceeded to canele for dessert and we met yuan li! who works there. i love the desserts.

p.s. i love love love my N95 5mp camera. kudos to good lighting and macro mode. on my phone camera! can you imagine.

black forest - crepes with dark chocolatey ice cream and alcohol-soaked cherries. with vanilla whipped cream, dark chocolate pieces and dusted with white icing.

the winner - rose petal ice cream with strawberry swirls, lychee bits and rose meringue sticks. dusted with white icing.

yummm. good food plus crazy dinner companions = i'm a happy girl.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

politicizing.

i've been thinking about the beijing olympics PR problems, as reported in the wires and ST. actually ST gets the info from the wires anyway, but that's beside the point.

the whole idea of numerous people politicizing a sporting event has been met with enthusiasm and disapproval from all over. this idea of pressurizing the chinese government to step up efforts to end the genocide in sudan and threatening to boycott the olympic games - i'm still on the fence as to whether to be for or against.

no doubt activists are getting desperate and it's only a morally/ethically/logically right thing for beijing to try and use their relations with sudan to negotiate a way to end the immense suffering of the sudanese people. i mean, really, if you could do something about it, wouldn't you?

but the activists are actively persuading top officials and olympic athletes to boycott the games altogether when the games begin in august. like the recent exit of steven spielberg as creative advisor for the opening and closing ceremonies and that open letter from nobel laureates and top leaders of countries urging china to take action. that really bugs me. the games is an international sporting event, where top athletes from all around the world come together and compete in a friendly manner, just like ms. universe, really.

so it begs the question - is it okay to politicize the biggest international sporting event, the most expensive, the most watched, the most prominent and recognized event? and use the event as a bargaining chip to end a genocide in an African country?

and i begin to wonder if it wasn't china hosting the olympics but another country, for eg. a european country. would there be such a similar proposition? and i also wonder why china had a media blackout for 2 days, where no one in china knew about the PR woes of the olympics while the rest of the world knew. and the subsequent outrage of the chinese about the media blackout and about the exit of spielberg.

i know the chinese are very proud of the games and their preparation so far. and they have been preparing for the games for a long time and i, as a chinese, rejoiced when they won the bid. but i also worry that they may not be ready as yet, having travelled to major china cities many times.

but as a major trading partner and economy in the world right now, china has the power to influence and shape global events and perhaps, end the darfur crisis. and i hope they do. not because they are afraid no one will turn up at the olympic games, but because it's the right thing to do. and i also wish that activists and politicians would stop politicizing non-political events. if there has to be influencing going on, it should be the US president and china president talking about it.

just leave the politics out of it.

+

speaking of politics, it's just everywhere around me nowadays in the office. actually not all around me. but it's uncanny that i was just talking to pastor mitch about the rigors of working life after evening worship yesterday and we got to talking about politics for awhile.

and today i was witnessed an exchange between 2 people that i believe was brought on by stress and irritation and just pure annoyance. i didn't think it was personal and it was attributed to the clashing of the 2 personalities. politics is just everywhere where people interact. and these 2 both have strong personalities and with that comes friction. i innocently stared at my laptop and pretended not to hear anything since i had my headphones on.

"He who is devoid of wisdom despises his neighbor,
But a man of understanding holds his peace. "
- Proverbs 11:12

+

i think it's such a joy to read Proverbs, because it's just filled with so much wise words. some of which bring comfort and peace to my stirring heart. (:

"He who trusts in his riches will fall,
But the righteous will flourish like foliage.
He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind,
And the fool will be servant to the wise of heart.
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life,
And he who wins souls is wise. "
- Proverbs 11:28-30

and i absolutely love the lessons pastor teaches at ypg3. there are many challenges that come our way, and many difficult passages from the scriptures to understand in order to learn how to defend our faith. and as i seek to be a disciple of the Lord this year i really want to learn that and learn to speak of the Lord and His love for everyone of us.

on a completely different note,
"they're completely myth-ing the point!"
- pastor charlie, 16/02/08

(:

Thursday, February 14, 2008

love, pain and hope.

“There are no shortcuts, in life or in love.
Its pain must be felt.
The alternative is much worse.
It’s what makes us special.
It makes us beautiful.
It makes us worthy.
The pain of how we love.
But that pain is accompanied by something else, isn’t it?

Hope?
With your pain there is hope, and that is where you are.
Somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer.

So, you’re human.
You’re alive.
And that is what we have.”

- Jon Robin Baitz/Molly Newman
writers, Brothers and Sisters

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

these days.

the weeks seem to pass me by.
mid-feb is here.
chinese new year is almost over.
valentine's day is here again.

no i'm not here to moan about what happened 3 years ago, 2 years ago or a year ago.
it's just a regular day, right?
except for the over-commercialization and over-emphasis of this day by couples and merchants.
well i did enjoy my valentine's day last year.
i remember it being very cold. and i watched my first movie in the US with my girlfriends, 'because i said so' and i loved it.

***

well anyway, switchfoot concert was GREAT. i know i'm like 2 weeks behind with this recap. but it was a good concert. they sound very good live and jon foreman is quite charming too. i think band lead singers HAVE to be charming. it's mandatory. that's how you win the hearts of girls. the fire fight, one of the opening bands, did us proud. (:

i remember one moment during the concert where i just stood still and really was quite stunned. twenty-four was the song. and during jon foreman's acoustic guitar solo, just his voice and his guitar was kind of amazing. it reminded me of a similar experience i had at damien rice's concert. this was especially amazing because of the lyrics. now this song is on repeat on my itunes and N95.

and thank you zeh zeh and justina for being great concert-mates, rocking out at the concert. (:

***

chinese new year was the usual affair that i remember. a lot of food, a lot of people, a lot of catching-up with relatives. it's strange that i haven't seen some of them in 2 years and it didn't felt like 2 years. there was also the usual get-together at bethany, this year was complete with a hilarious sketch and weiquan misquoting a Bible verse in front of everyone during the sketch. there was also a family picnic at the marina south pier with roasted chicken sandwiches, chips, curry (:, cny goodies, fruits, jelly and red wine. then we still went to eat zi char.

a lot of eating.

***

was quite sad that ah meng died, for some reason. i kinda remember vaguely taking a picture with him when i was young. but when i saw that beautiful potrait of that beloved orang-utan on the front page of the papers on saturday, i got upset. then i saw the memorial service and eulogy on the news and i can relate to the zookeeper's tears. 'cos those same tears fell when my dog, oscar died 8 years ago.

***

am very very glad that the writer's strike is O-V-E-R. also very glad that the writers got what they deserved and the big mogul companies giving way. but those billions of dollars lost because of the strike can never be replaced. the cost of pride can be so tangible, and intangible at the same time.

***

am also very very glad that obama has won 8 straight primaries and caucases. and i'm glad my state of washington voted for him. i have some obama for america campaign goodies with my friend alvin, so alvin come back soon!! i hope he wins ohio/texas or both, for the high number of delegates there could really push him to win the nomination.

***

simple joys come in the form of

the kids in church, whose bright eyes, cheeky wit, pure innocence and abundant energy really makes me smile.

the dogs i see, from day to day, and my own dog, who is so laid-back and carefree with life. who lies on his back and enjoy the cool evening wind and is friendly with every friend of the family, but barks insanely at people he doesn't like.

coming home at the end of a day at work of injecting things into fish embryos and probing them with stuff, to home-cooked dinner and tv shows. after finishing my 2nd west wing season 1-7 marathon, i'm now rediscovering lost right from the beginning and fishing out clues to the mystery. oh yes and those precious episodes of brothers and sisters, house, and lost coming up online every week. (:

reading and learning and discovering God's word and seeking to walk closely with Him everyday and under every circumstance. learning what it means to receive His precious provisions and blessings and not take them for granted. (:

Sunday, February 3, 2008

light of the world.


“He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life."

- John 8:12
***
i'm getting tired of furiously making collages of my zebrafish embryo photos. reading past issues of youthwalk and thinking about discipleship brings comfort, joy and peace.
in the midst of turbulent waters, lots of uncertainty, doubt, fear in ways unimaginable, i'm trying to seek solace in the Lord's Word and His promises and mercy. to bring comfort to myself and more importantly, to you.
i'm reminded once again of the reality of salvation and just how many people around me are in desperate need of God's grace. this grace that is extended to me and you.
***

Lord, as I seek
Your guidance for the day,
I find my thoughts unyielding,
confusion crowds my way
But then when I bow to You,
The challenges You guide me through
Your promises are ever new,
I need them for today

Your will cannot lead me
where Your grace will not keep me
Your hand will protect me,
I rest in Your care
Your eyes will watch over me,
Your love will forgive me
And when I am faltering
I still will find You there

Each new day’s design
is fashioned by Your hand
And graciously revealed as I seek Your Masterplan
Keep my footsteps faithful
when from You I go
Return me to the joy
that Your blessings can bestow

Your will cannot lead me
where Your grace will not keep me
Your hand will protect me,
I rest in Your care
Your eyes will watch over me,
Your love will forgive me
And when I am faltering
I still will find You there
- grace