heading home.

been trying to gather some thoughts on graduation. and one thing that is unchanged is the word "grace". these 4 years have been the best times. it's a time where i got to know the Lord on a much deeper level, and saw my faith and trust in Him grow steadily through the circumstances. His grace has brought me through all things that happened, particularly in the last 4 years. and i'm thankful for His presence, His mercy and goodness, His great love and strength that He gives. i could think of so many instances, day-to-day, that i would not know what to do if i did not have the Lord. those instances happen on a daily basis, and even more so during tough times, like exams and trials, emotional turmoil and the things that happen in life.

so many things have happened. in school, at classes, in hall. at my extra curriculars. volunteering. serving at church's youth choir. going on exchange in the US. travelling. teaching. knowing friends. knowing not-so-friendly people. doing my FYP. at home. the death of siqiu, my unborn niece/nephew, and now huiyi.

today's vigil service for huiyi really struck a chord with my heart. all of us at bethany have been praying for her for some time now as she struggled with pecoma (perivascular epithelioid cell cancers), a rare form of cancer with no cure.

despite not meeting her or knowing her personally and knowing that her time on this earth will end soon, tears came as i watched a video of her photos from young, and listened to t. chiew yen talk about her last days and her gradual coming-of-faith while battling an incurable cancer and the strength she found in the Lord to face death with courage and that peace that she had as she left this earth to be home with the Lord. all these at the tender young age of 24. just a year older than i am.

as i watched her photos flash on screen to corrinne may's "fly away", her life, i noticed, was not that all different from mine. she had great loving parents, a wonderful sister who cared for her while she was sick, she grew up with many friends and she had such great memories. she was a happy, carefree girl, just starting out on her first job out of university. and i realized more and more just how much i want to treasure my life now and live for the Lord. because our time here is so short and unpredictable, just but a fleeting moment.

huiyi writes in her testimony,

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”
-Revelations 21:4-5
by faith, i embrace this hope.

there's a tremendous sense of joy and hope and peace that comes from knowing that we have eternal life in the salvation offered to us so freely. this same joy and hope that we can have when our loved ones are being called home to be with the Lord in Heaven. where everything is beautiful. i know huiyi is there with the Lord, so is siqiu. and that imagery of no more pain, death, sorrow or crying is so amazing. this faith that we can have. this belief. how can we not have and believe?

huiyi's strength to go through the last stage of her life and the peace that she had, evident from her testimony, are just the proof of His grace and strength and the Lord answering prayers. and as i thought about graduation and stepping into a new phase of my life, huiyi will always be in my thoughts.