the case for the single 20-something girl.

on top of Calton Hill
edinburgh, scotland
may'08

countdown to europe'09: 4 days

i'm dreaming of the sprawling views of lake district in britain now, and shutting out pre-trip jitters, troubles, unhappiness.

at the risk of sounding like a spoiled brat, note to self: do not offer to plan back-to-back trips with the family, free-and-easy. it's a thankless job that should be done once in 2 years (at least).

***

at the 2nd risk of sounding like a materialistic girl - i recently discovered something. i'm sure this stemmed from my 2nd sister, but being single in your 20s is a great thing.

meeting up with old friends, some of the conversations have shifted course. we're now in the territory of weddings, HDB flats, engagement parties, diamonds and such. at first i was kinda taken aback at this shift, because i was still thinking that we should be talking about jobs and money and repaying our tuition loan and promotions and stuff. but the whole picture of marriage has secretly crept in.

as i listen to my friends forking out $10,000 and above for HDB downpayments, scrimping and saving for their wedding dinners, looking at renovation costs, wedding dresses etc., i can't help but smile at my own freedom from all that.

well, no doubt, i can't deny the comfort of having someone you love to provide emotional support in these turbulent times of transition and change in our 20s.

but i saw the better side of singlehood. the freedom of my days to spend with family and friends instead of running off to meet the BF. to cultivate good relationships with friends and colleagues and inevitably - network - with people that may come "useful" in future.

and the ability to enjoy the finer comforts of life. after struggling as a poor student for so many years, now it's time to spend those hard-earn cash at pampering oneself with nicer things. you work hard, and play hard right?

i've been able to wine and dine at nicer restaurants with nice food, buy clothes/bags/shoes that are slightly more expensive and a little more often than usual, bake more often and let my friends reap the joys of home-made desserts, go for awesome concerts, gigs, plays, movies (monsters vs aliens and terminator salvation back-to-back), buy CDs/DVDs, zai zai lens for the DSLR, give a little more back to God and His Work, and most of all, travel and see the world.

of course, material things should not replace love. and i'm not advocating that.

my point is: i've seen many strong women in their 20s and 30s who are single and loving it. not in the i'm-pretending-to-love-it-so-i-won't-look-pathetic way. but for real. and i know that they are as confident and complete as any woman who is happily attached or married. these women have great relationships with friends and family and are happy with their lives. and more often than not, they are walking rightly with the Lord.

well, as and when my white knight comes along to sweep me off my feet, i will patiently wait and think about saving money for my wedding (hopefully i'd earn more money then, so the burden's not so great, heh). and meanwhile, i can pamper myself and do more things with the little money i have and the little time i have for myself, that is my own. without worries, for now.