of happiness, wisdom and the days of our lives.

it's been a long time since i went to work for a full week of 5 days. i miss the holidays, where for 3 weeks consecutively, we had holidays and half-days. but amazingly i didn't feel as drained or tired as i expected to be. no doubt the sleepiness hits when my alarm sounds and i press the snooze button 5 times before i wake up. and one cup of coffee in the morning and one cup of teh-o in the afternoon gets me through the day. but my soul is refreshed everytime i read God's word. and THAT gets me through everything.

***

i opened the yahoo homepage on my firefox just now and saw in the headlines, a featured video where singapore was named the happiest place in asia. at first i was quite shocked to see that. i didn't think that singapore would come out tops considering how big asia is.

then i clicked on the link that brought me to a video. it's 20/20, a program produced by ABC news in USA. i know the program from the days of downloading clay aiken clips and also my 6-month stay in US. and as an intro, the host asks a series of rhetoric questions for her audience.

"Picture this: A country where you have no choice on who to vote for. No jury of your peers deciding your fate in a courtroom. And chewing gum is banned. So how could it be that a place with the most rigid and unbending rules is the happiest country of the continent?"
- ABC news, Jan 9 2008, source

well you know i can't exactly blame the americans for asking such questions. it just goes to show again how different and yet similar 2 countries can be. and how singapore, no matter how we try to be westernized, we can never escape our cultures and values, and even personality. of course the narrator lists all the big bad things about singapore first (like no press freedom, no jury proceedings, drug users are executed etc. etc.). then the video goes on to explain (with interviews of the normal singaporean uncle in a hawker center and mark zee, of all people) why are singaporeans happy when we are a "fine" city?

well americans cannot understand because they have a country which was built on freedom many many years ago. and they are paying a price for that freedom. singapore took a different approach, one that is radically different. we restrict freedom so we and our children don't have to pay the price. and in exchange, as the video reiterates, we get peace, stability, corruption-free, booming economy and a stable government run by smart people. i'm not saying one way is better than the other, and i'm not an expert at anything, but both ways are working. not perfectly. but the 2 models have produced top-notch nations and citizens and are top players in the global market and leaders of the world. so maybe america can be a little less critical about how other people run their governments. that's just my 2 cents worth.

do watch the video. the link is found at the end of the quote.

***

anyway this week has been a good week in lab. my RNA probes are working very well and the signal in my zebrafish embryos are strong and in the correct places of the brain. which made my supervisor and i so happy. (: i've got some pretty pictures of the expression of this gene called YAP1, which has been linked to cancer in humans and other mammals. so now i just got to mimick the conditions in human cancer and overexpress this gene in the embryos and see what happens.

and also prayer meeting was a good time of reflecting upon the Lord's word and praying and fellowshipping with shannie and praying with her. there was also a meetup with the girls from my tj class, where we spent 4 hours at waraku talking about the good old days and the people we knew in tj. we talked about so many and it was nice catching up with catrina and caiqun.

today i had lunch with tr. chen kee at biopolis and i really thank God for her wisdom and guidance. she has been able to help me see things from other perspectives and to turn my focus back onto the Lord. and it was also very nice catching up with her 'cos she's always busy in church. we got to talking about boyfriends and growing up at my age in the early 20s and how unstable this period is for us. and the uncertainty of our future can be very daunting. and i'm thankful that i have one less burden because my near-future has been made certain by MOE. but i know my friends are going through that phase of not knowing what the future may hold and what life may throw at them in the coming months.

but even then, i have my fair share of doubt and uncertainty. will i make it through NIE? will i be a good teacher? what happens after my bond is up? will i be in education forever? am i cut out for other sectors of work? when will i get a boyfriend?

hahaha. but she shared with me how trusting and being secure in the Lord helped her through her years of growing up. trusting in God's plan for us. and if a boy comes, he comes. but if not, really it doesn't matter. i need the Lord more than i need a boyfriend. (:

it's amazing how much wisdom God gives to get us through our lives. that's what tr. chen kee said. and as she said it i got reminded of the song Be Thou My Vision, a song that i heard on my phone on the way home yesterday. and i remember pondering over the lyrics and appreciating how meaning they are all over again. and in an amazing God-driven coincidence, tr. chen kee mentions that same song over lunch.

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought, by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

Be thou my wisdom, and Thou my true word
I ever with thee and, Thou with me Lord
Thou my great Father and, I Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance, now and always
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art

High King of heaven, my victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

one of my all-time favorite verses, which incidentally was first shared with me by tr. chen kee. (:

"But as it is written:
“ Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”"
- 1 Corinthians 2:9

a tribute.

i remember 3.5 years ago i stepped into the great unknown of university life. i accepted my offer to study biological sciences at NTU after NUS rejected me for medicine. their loss.

but in retrospect, i'm quite thankful that i came to NTU. there were lots of firsts for me. and this huge sprawling campus at the siberia of singapore holds too many fond memories.

i remember moving into hall 7 and making new friends. i remember louisa was my roommate and we had a great time sharing apples and oranges, watching tv with our neighbours and gathering in our friend's room to talk rubbish and sing songs.

it was the first time i was living away from home. and the feeling is both scary yet liberating at the same time. and that same feeling came again when i left singapore to study in seattle. it was a city in land of danger aka USA and it was 18 hours away with the huge pacific ocean separating me and my loved ones.

this 6-month stint overseas was enough to teach me about life, because so much was experienced and my eyes were widened so much. it was also the first time i was comfortable being alone and not feel lonely. that's my most independent experience so far.

it was also the first time i experience the fear of living in a country where people are allowed guns and tragedy strikes. not once but twice. and another time my roommate heard a gunshot in the middle of the night, woke me up and for the first time, i was afraid for my life and went to pray immediately for like 15 minutes.

(anyway too many things can be said about my trip overseas, so that's a story for another day.)

well school held many fond memories. i have the greatest bunch of friends and i really love my cohort for being so funny and spontaneous and noisy and free-spirited. being continuously fascinated by the intricacies of biology and God's work is something we share in common. that and those endless nights of studying and cramming and memorising. whether in our beloved old resource room or the new one christened "diamond", or in the libraries of HSS, NIE, library 2, canteen B (complete with prata and teh peng), or at starbucks eastpoint or burger king.

outside of school we had that usual fair share of gatherings, BBQs, steamboats, orientation camps, inter-school games, jam band sessions, trawling the flea markets and bazaars for cheap earrings and clothes, our favourite "i-scream" yoghurt with blended fruits. not to mention that one year of carolling during the christmas season.

my hall friends from hall 7 are the most eclectic and weird mix of friends i have ever. because we all have different majors, and we come from different backgrounds and have different personalities and interests, the things we do together are the silliest but nevertheless, memorable.

those nights of mahjong, drinking, playing silly orientation camp games, the infamous birthday celebrations consisting of soy sauce and a whole range of condiments, detergent, kiwi shoe shine and LOTS of water, lots of chasing and running and screaming. followed by the more subdued and mature cake cutting, photo-whoring and drinking and chat sessions. there were also nights of silly short-film-making, pretending to be soldiers infiltrating the girl's rooms, climbing the walls of our block, pretending to be back in NS and doing pushups. and the usual parties, steamboats, playing in inter-hall games, hall production rehearsals late into the night, watching the actors go through their lines till i can memorise them, carolling around town, late-night suppers, trips to sentosa for beach volleyball and frisbee.

well hall 7 was also where i met my first (and only, so far) boyfriend and it's strange that 3 years ago this day was THAT day. you know. and while it has ended a few months ago, i don't really know what to say about it except. yeah i don't really know what to say about it. of course it has been the one thing that has taught me the most about myself. the way i do things, say things, handle things, and my relationships with other people, and ultimately God. yes and i don't know what else to say.

(that must be the world's most incoherent paragraph.)

then there was my CCAs outside school and hall. welfare services club was a big part of my NTU life. we did so many projects. and we helped so many people. yes i'm sounding pompous but WSC does a lot of good. we reach out to so many different underprivileged/less fortunate people in singapore and overseas and i'm very proud of her achievements. working with the boys from singapore boys hostel was a great learning lesson, for me as a person, as a volunteer and as a teacher and i'm thankful for that experience. those miscellaneous committees i joined enlarged my circle of friends and taught me valuable life skills and lessons. being in the 11th and 12th management committee has also taught me those things on a much larger scale. the people i've worked with are amazingly talented and smart and i do believe that they are on their way to achieving great things in life. because they have that compassion. (:

and yes i did enter the Istana for the first time to receive the Singapore Youth Award medal of commendation with my friends for WSC's work. met ronald susilo and minister teo chee hean and other dignitaries. also made friends with eunice oslen (though i'm sure she doesn't remember me now), got interviewed by local press and so much more.

well, the students' union was also something i was kinda involved in, and i was thrusted into the mess of politics in the union and that also exposed me to the harsh realities of student government politics. like back in JC, running for students' council was a simple affair. this was a whole new different ballgame and it was a good thing i merely stood at the sidelines and observe people trashing and backstabbing one another without having fallen into that mess. but still, it taught me good lessons which will be applicable to the future working world of dog-eat-dog.

i'm sure i missed out many many things. but i was feeling sentimental 'cos my exams are finally over and i won't have to take anymore of it in my final semester and so this is the unofficial end to actual going-to-school-and-study-for-exams. so this is dedicated to all my friends from the school of brewery/biological sciences.

carlene, edward, champ, andrea, renchun, lanpei, huimin, angeline, samuel, weiliang, fish, gerald, fidelia, lauretta, kristin, saheen, kelvin, nikolay, weiqi, vincent, engel, tingfeng, wani, juni, ilda, kah suan, and ohmygoodness i cannot think of other names but there are so many more! but everyone from SBS class of 2008, this is a song for you. read the lyrics and listen to the song. you'll always be remembered.

For Good
Wicked OST
Original Broadway Cast
Kristin Chenoweth & Idina Menzel

GLINDA
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:
I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun./Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea.
Like a stream the meets a boulder halfway through the wood./ Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better.

And because I knew you:
Because I knew you:
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.

a video of the song sung by the original broadway cast in NYC. (: click to go to youtube page.


another video, tracking the rehearsals for the musical. a better hearing experience. click to go the youtube page.

videos 1 month too late.

ok i know this is way too late, but i finally gotten around to uploading videos onto youtube for your viewing pleasure. =)

the first one: fireworks at space needle on new year's day. i've got a longer video but that is too large a file to be uploaded onto youtube.

instructions: please click on the "play" button on the bottom left hand corner. wait for awhile for the video to load and buffer.



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the 2nd one: the NBA game i attended. seattle sonics vs new york knicks.



more videos to come. enjoy!