a pensive pensieve.

tumblr(ing) down the rabbit hole.

2010-07-30T02:45:00.000-07:00

http://replete.tumblr.com/

a cleaner interface. convenient posting on iphone and chrome toolbar extension.

i like.

nostalgic about the needle.

2010-06-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

the seattle skyline

as seen from a ferryboat on puget sound

may'07

suddenly, i get hit with a wave of nostalgia.

and i'm yearning to head overseas to study again. contemplating a liberal arts program.

at the end of all things good,

2010-06-02T09:05:00.000-07:00

the holidays are here and i finally have time to come here. my sanctuary.

the last 10 weeks have been kind of crazy. sometimes, i enjoy my work and the people i get to work with (students and colleagues alike) so much that i forget that it's not always a bed of roses. the stresses of working, the burden that i carry whenever i get reminded that my work deals with the lives of young people, that nagging need to strive for perfection and acceptance, that want to bring glory to the Lord and live my life as a testimony to the grace that i've been given.

sometimes, i'm glad i have a (physical) place to turn to in the middle of the work day. to reflect. think. cry out. pray. whenever a silly mistake was made. whenever big mistakes were made. whenever.

***

watching the whole slew of season and series finales the past few weeks to destress from work. thankful. 4 outstanding finales ought to be mentioned here.

1. house - just because it was shot entirely with a DSLR in HD. the canon 5d mkII was used, together with a mix of canon primes (i suspect they are below f1.4) and zeiss zooms (24-70mm, 70-200mm, if memory serves me well). the result was no different from the regular tv shows, but with an added bonus. the tremendous f-stops used ensured amazing an array of depths of field. and even though some scenes may seem out of focus, it fit into the storyline well. and did i mention cuddy and house are finally trying to make it work? :)

2. flashforward - went out with a cliffhanger-open-to-interpretation. the practicalities and business of broadcast media in america led to the axing of a once-promising show. and i'm still quite sad. the show was bouncing back from a few episodes of bad writing and script, but got axed way too soon. farewell flashforward.

3. lost - went out with a poignant smile, fully redeemed. in the end, the important questions were answered. the flash-sideways world was explained. our characters got the redemption they needed. and they moved on, together, to whatever comes after.

after all the adventure, mythology, spirituality, science, faith, philosophy, history, and the countless lessons and knowledge i've picked up watching the series, there are no regrets, no yearning for more (like i usually do with series finales), no burning questions (just a few small ones to satisfy my science brain), but just a quiet, poignant smile as jack closed his eyes and step into the light.

it also reminds me of being redeemed by the blood of Christ, reconciled with God, justified by faith, and the life in Heaven that awaits after we are done in this life. i used to struggle with the reality of a Heavenly Kingdom where there are no tears and sorrow, no sadness and fears. but God, sitting on His throne, where the angels sing and i can find rest for all eternity. though i still struggle with this sometimes (thanks to my science brain), i'm glad for a tv show that can remind me of this fact.

4. grey's anatomy - the season finale left me at the edge of my seat as charles, alex and derek lay dying and a grieving man who lost his wife went on a 2-hr (unrealistic, yes. pumps up the drama equation, yes.) shooting rampage in the hospital before committing suicide.

after i finished the show and started to think about what i saw, i got these flashbacks to the time where i was on exchange in the US. sitting in my poli-sci class, reading breaking news off my classmate's laptops about a shooting that happened on campus. MY campus. and i was ON campus, not at home. without details, my mind started to go crazy. is the gun man still going around shooting people? is he going to walk into my classroom with that loaded gun? it was a crazy time and i hardly paid attention. when i finally got hold of the details, the gun man had shot himself after he shot his ex-girlfriend in the chest 5 times, an ex-girlfriend he had been stalking. i'll never forget those crazy minutes (40 or so minutes) of fearing for my life.

and a few weeks later, the virginia tech massacre happened across the country i was in. my nightmare. and it is a sobering wakeup call for america to rethink its gun and ammunition laws. and it's also a gentle prod to be thankful for singapore.

ETA: i'm shaking my head as i type this after i saw a CNN breaking news tweet about a man going on a shooting rampage in the cumbria region of the UK, killing 12 people. they just found the shooter's body. cumbria is the region where lake district is, a beautiful place i visited last year. it's unthinkable. seriously.

one more thing that caught my attention in the grey's finale. the shooter asked the people he met whether or not they were surgeons. if the answer is yes, he shoots. this closely mirrors the rumors that surfaced during the aftermath of the columbine shootings, that the shooters asked the people if they believed in God, and if yes, they shoot. the rumors proved to not be true.

however, i thought about if it were true, how do people face such situations with the tremendous amount of courage that is needed. would we all respond like how Peter did, bearing in mind that a positive response would mean suffering, pain and death. or would we stand up for our faith and take the bullet, like so many disciples and apostles and servants of God today did? would we have that courage?

***

and yet i know, there is still hope in prayer as i grow in my faith. as we studied from the book of Jeremiah during YAG retreat, i can't help but change my mind about Jeremiah. i used to think he was really whiny and emo (esp. after studying the book of Lamentations).

but looking at things from a bigger perspective, i can see why the tears came as he prayed. his people were deliberately rebelling against God and not heeding his advice or warnings. Judah was suffering and yet Jeremiah's words fell on deaf ears. what was so outstanding about Jeremiah was how faithful and persevering he was as he served God. despite all that he went through, he still remained a faithful servant, and he constantly went back to God in prayer. that, to me, was really special. and inspiring.

ohhh work. bummer.

2010-04-06T09:01:00.000-07:00

i'm constantly reminded that i have been neglecting this space, and penning less thoughts here. i still have the kings of convenience concert to archive. tomorrow, i head to esplanade theater to catch 'the tempest', this year's bridge project installment. and that will, hopefully, be followed by a good review (much like last year's 'the winter's tale'). and again, that reminds me, i didn't review the 2nd play of the bridge project's double-bill - chekov's 'the cherry orchard' after i saw it in london.

HOKAY. so easter came and went. i promise, i promise i will pen my thoughts down (here or elsewhere). the easter musical, again, moved me so much with its narrative and songs. it's just so amazing how songs, lyrics and music can move people and stir emotions.

finally bought my air tickets to zurich, which is my connecting city to scandinavia. quite a good bargain i must say - $1.6k return on the singapore airlines A380. now it's about finding my other flights, trains and cruises, plus excursions to neighbouring towns and norwegian fjords.

going on this trip means forgoing a study trip to hokkaido with science teachers association of singapore, which is totally expensive, but totally interesting. but to console myself, scandinavia is a pretty good thing too, plus i get to go for my singapore arts fest concerts and dances (yay joshua bell).

i'm being super tied down by work and more admin sai gang. but the Lord graciously gives me strength that is renewed with each new day. :) more to come.

cherry.

2010-03-31T03:07:00.001-07:00

cherry blossoms at the UW campus

april 2007

seattle, washington

it's the time of the year where the cherry blossoms bloom everywhere. here a different species bloom, and though they aren't the sakura, they are beautiful nonetheless.

today i drove along bedok road on my way home (after detouring to get starbucks), and was so amazed to see the entire road lined with cherry blossom petals that fell during the rain.

i'm reminded of 2 things. how much i miss seattle, and how beautiful God's creations are. :)

i know i owe Him everything.

2010-03-08T17:27:00.001-08:00

the 4 most powerful lines this easter musical that moves my sinful heart everytime i sing it and hear it.

how could i know the mystery of grace /
how love could hold Him there, dying in my place /
but everytime i see those labored footsteps, all His suffering /
i know i owe Him everything.

what power. what sacrifice. what love.

Be still.

2010-02-23T02:20:00.000-08:00

University of Washington campus
Seattle, WA
Spring 2007

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side. 
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;  
leave to your God to order and provide;
in every change He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend
through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.


The soul is weary. Desperate for a place to hide and rest in His grace.

muse-zik - the best rock gig ever.

2010-02-08T02:37:00.000-08:00

so one week after andrew bird at esplanade, i attended 2 more gigs. prior to gig #1, i've ranked coldplay's viva gig to be at the top of my best live gigs ever attended for rock bands. but muse really blew me away, in the most simple form, without gimmicks, small talk and expensive stage production.

the concert was big night out - headlined by muse and supported by saosin and rise against. saosin was the weaker of the 2. lead singer did not have the presence, voice and banter skills yet. the band wasn't in sync with the (some) of the audience. but rise against was surprisingly good. good lead singer, tight band, great songs.

by the time muse took the stage, it was 10pm and everyone perked up immediately and started getting high. my concert buddies, zeh, special J and i (guest appearances by lester and bangjie) were squashed in the middle of the mosh pit among tall people. sigh. but the feeling you get in the pit is different from the sides of the indoor stadium. though tiring, it was exhilarating to rock it out and headbang and dance with fellow moshers.

we predicted the opening song correctly - uprising. but we thought supermassive black hole is gonna be an encore piece, and it ended up as the second song. props to the band for being unpredictable. and even more unpredictable was the good portion of the songs from the 1st 3 albums - showbiz, origin of symmetry and absolution!

words really fail to describe how good muse is live. matt's pitch-perfect voice and his amazing falsetto range (according to muse wiki, reaches A5, which is my top note as well), his bling guitar with the electronic panel and nimble fingers on the guitar riffs, his pretty white upright piano and his nimble fingers again! dom has rocket science precision on the drums and he is a jaw-droppingly good drummer. chris on the bass and backing vocals harmonizes well with matt and his bass lines makes my heart pound with joy. :) the 3 of them are so in sync and so tight, you would think that some of the parts are recorded.

more highlights

map of the problematique was AMAZING. the energy was peaking with SMBH just before MOTP, and it just popped.

sunburn was played on the piano! (and i only saw what happened on youtube)

undisclosed desires, my favorite from the resistance, where i danced along to the awesome song and under the green lights around the stadium.

the singalongs to SMBH, starlight, and well everything else.

MK ultra, again, AMAZING.

closing the encores with a suprising choice - knights of cydonia. something i never expected, but worked out so well. with the visuals at the backdrop and the deafening singalong.

Muse Live in Singapore!

Big Night Out

3rd February 2010

setlist

Uprising

Supermassive Black Hole

Map of the Problematique

Resistance

Interlude

Hysteria

Stockholm Syndrome

Nishe

United States of Eurasia

Sunburn

Helsinki Jam

Undisclosed Desires

MK Ultra

Starlight

Time is Running Out

Unnatural Selection

***

Exogenesis: Symphony, Part 1: Overture

Plug In Baby

Knights of Cydonia

J and i had an extensive discussion in the car about what makes muse so amazing. and as i think about the band, it's really about the music. lyrics, not so much - but credit must be given to them too, for socially conscious and politics-infused lyrics and emo songs (without being overbearing and annoying).

but the music. i've expressed appreciation for how some bands strive to better themselves and their music with each subsequent album. i know bands like maroon 5, keane don't do this. album after album, they sound the same. but bands like coldplay and muse evolve as they mature. and that's why i really love muse's latest album, the resistance. who can write, produce and do an album that has songs with middle-eastern motifs, classic rock, jazz rock, electronica AND classical music (my favorite chopin nocturne!) all thrown in, and still come out coherent and sensational?

***

Rise Against Live in Singapore

Big Night Out

3rd February 2010

setlist

Collapse (Post-Amerika)

Re-Education (Through Labor)

The Good Left Undone

Long Forgotten Sons

Savior

The Dirt Whispered

Audience of One

Prayer of the Refugee

Swing Life Away

Hero of War

Give It All

Ready To Fall

awaiting to muse.

2010-02-03T21:38:00.000-08:00

i've so much work to do, that it'll take me awhile (hopefully not too long, lest i forget the euphoric night) to pen down my thoughts of the muse concert, the best live rock gig EVER.

and i'm still awaiting a time where i can watch the very last season premiere of Lost. and i've been conscientiously avoiding all spoilery youtube clips and reviews and recaps and tweets. heh.

and now, listening to muse at work. how else can you relive the night of spectacular, raw talent and music?

Do you wonder where the self resides?

2010-01-29T06:25:00.000-08:00

photo // wakingupto

the genius-ness of andrew bird has left me quite contemplative after his gig at the esplanade concert hall on tuesday. going to this concert was really a leap of faith - not knowing the existence of this musical genius before the mosaic marketing bombarded my inbox with emails, thinking that maybe his music would be something i'd like, getting hold of his albums, making the decision "just heck it and buy the tix!", having his songs grow on me as i listen to them at work, and realising that andrew bird is someone you MUST hear live. the studio recordings just doesn't do his songs and the man enough justice.

so late to jump on the wagon, but i'm hooked nonetheless. without music, andrew bird is a somewhat awkward, mumbling, self-deprecating guy who shuffles his feet and avoids eye contact. on stage with the loop pedals, his amazing-sounding violin, guitar and glockenspiel, he's a different man.

andrew (ha we're on a first name basis now, considering how much his music has penetrated my life in so short a time) is the guy who has been playing the violin his whole life. i really admire his ability and talent to take his classical training and venture to a path that is so different from other classically-trained musicians. if you ask me to do something like this with my piano training - i would love to, but the talent just isn't there.

the pizzicato on the violin is amazing. how come no one ever substituted the violin for a ukelele? i'd love to have heard more of the glockenspiel, but when i hear him whistle with the glockenspiel, it sounds totally alike. which brings me to the jaw-dropping ability of his to whistle.

andrew's whistle is nothing like us ordinary folk. his whistling is loud, pitch-perfect, rhythm-perfect, great range and crystal clear. the singing is comparable to his contemporaries (whom i'll mention just a few - jeff buckley, damien rice, the mellow-er styles of jason mraz and rufus wainwright). but the multi-tasking is a sight to see.

from an audience member's point of view, andrew does it all, and he does it so effortlessly. pulling the bow on the violin, singing, hopping to the glockenspiel, stepping on the controls of the loop pedals, picking up the guitar, throwing the guitar behind his back and plucking the violin. this myriad of his tasks on stage is executed to (almost) perfection. but i can imagine it takes lots of concentration and focus to be able to pull all that off. remembering the songs, each refrain to be looped, playing them in the correct order, playing them in the correct rhythm.

it's astounding to me, and i spent the entire concert mesmerized and in awe of the music that is resonating through the halls of esplanade. very glad that the concert was held here. i've attested to the awesome acoustics of the concert hall before, and that only the best of the best musicians can sound good in this hall. true enough, andrew bird sounded brilliant for the entire 100+ minute set.

Andrew Bird - live in singapore

mosaic series by esplanade presents

26 january 2010

setlist

Happy Birthday Song

Why?

Sweet matter (Dark matter/sweetbreads)

A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left

Natural Disaster

Oh No

Tenuousness

Carrion Suite

Section 8 City

Imitosis

Capital I (inspired by Sesame Street)

Anonanimal

Headsoak

Scythian Empires

***

Oh, Sister (Bob Dylan cover)

Some of These Days I'll Be Gone (Charley Patton cover)

photo // TODAYonlineblogs

the setlist is a good mix of songs. and i particularly enjoyed my favorites from noble beast - natural disaster and oh no. i also loved capital i, dark matter/sweet matter, why? and imitosis (yes the bio geek in me really loves this song). i was particularly captivated with dark/sweet matter (2 versions of the song), and the thought of where the soul/self resides. is it our DNA? our brain (which has white and grey matter, not dark matter)? our heart (which is red)?

but more than that, it was a delight hearing andrew mumble through some banter, including his thoughts on some of his songs. i love to hear songwriters talk about their songs during gigs. andrew is truly a gifted songwriter and musician. his creativity and innovation, so evident as he forms melodies and harmonies that loops through each stanza and chorus, adding a minor tone, embellishing it with different tonalities and sounds. the out-of-the-box use of the violin like a ukelele, the strange mix of instruments, and electronic technology has pushed the boundaries of music, and at the same time, challenged my perspectives of what beautiful music can sound like, rather than what music ought to sound like.

and andrew's songs, to me, are all his thoughts. about the people around him, the gut-wrenching emotions, the social commentary, the philosophy and existentialism, the sights and sounds. his music and lyrics surround him each and every day, and they are one and the same. and i think he becomes so wrapped up in his own music and thoughts, that when he's alone with the music, that's when he's free.

who is this man?

2009-12-27T21:47:00.000-08:00

on the day after Christmas, i happened to chance upon a program on discovery channel. a documentary titled 'who was Jesus?'. it was fascinating as 3 academics from universities in the US and Jerusalem went on a discovery around Jerusalem to all the sites. among many things discussed (largely from a scientific point of view), they talked about how Jesus would have looked liked according to physical anthropologists, excavated skulls and skeletons and the genetic pool of the people who lived 2009 years ago. archaeologists were also interviewed as they unearthed sites like Pilate's home where Jesus was sentenced to be crucified etc.

more than that, they also explored the process of the crucifixion, and what the body went through as the process was carried out. no doubt Jesus was the Son of God, but he had a mortal body and he went through pain and suffering too. so scientists now subjected bodies that were donated to science to the crucifixion process, plus a single evidence that was found - a heel bone with a nail driven through it.

MRI imaging shows that the nail is driven into the heel bone as it was the position that would have hurt the most, because of the intricate network of nerves that resides there.

i was greatly moved when i tried to imagine what Jesus must have gone through. the pain, suffering that was upon Him as He died slowly on the cross. tears came. and this christmas season, i'm once again reminded of who Jesus is. and how my wretchedness and sins have been washed away. and how i can be reconciled with God and receive the forgiveness that is so richly undeserved.

You laid aside your majesty

Gave up everything for me

Suffered at the hands

of those You have created

You took all my guilt and shame

When You died and rose again

Now today You reign

In Heaven and earth exalted

I really want to worship You my Lord

You opened up my heart and i am Yours

Forever and ever

I will love You

You are the only One who died for me

Gave Your life to set me free

So i lift my voice to You

In adoration

insidious.

2009-12-14T07:34:00.000-08:00

i'm pretty sure the state of drunkenness and what it brings are the manifestation of everything that is wrong with man.

my friends know that i drink alcohol. my house has a big cabinet stocked with most hard liquors - several bottles of vodka, whiskey, rum, gin, martini, brandy, XO etc. and we have a fridge stocked with bottles and bottles of red wine, white wine, rose, champagne and beer.

at home, we have wine with dinners. we pop champagne when there's a special occasion (like my 21st party). and when friends come over, we mix some cocktails and chill. alcohol with the right mixers, alcohol with the right food, alcohol cooked with the right ingredients, can be a great delight and an art form to appreciate.

today i saw in the newspapers, photos of people passing out - dead drunk - on the beaches of sentosa from zouk out. the article reported that even when puke was everywhere, a guy was quoted, saying what's a party without drunk people?

how is randomly making out with some guy, or waking up with puke-stained clothes fun and exciting?

through my stay in hall and elsewhere, i've witnessed just about everything that's wrong with mankind. ok not everything. but i've seen excessive amounts of alcohol breaking up relationships, tarnishing reputations, and causing otherwise-sane-and-nice people to fall into the clutches of the evil one and sinning.

it all becomes real when the worst happens to someone you love - falling down a flight of stairs, a pool of blood around the head, skull cracked, 2-day coma and a life changed forever.

and the more insidious thing about this - is that our society thinks it's ok. it's ok to consume all that alcohol in the name of having fun, relaxing, or drowning one's troubles. all that peer pressure is the devil's way of ensnaring us. his ways are subtle, inconspicuous, and disguised in the name of innocence and fun.

as i grow older (and grow in my faith and knowledge of the Lord's Word), i see the depth of the words of life, i see how it applies to my life, and how uplifting it is. some time ago at ypg, pastor mitch challenged us to memorise 2 verses, out of which 1 is this one below. it really amazes me how the same verse can mean different things to you at different points of your life.

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,
let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us,
and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,"
Hebrews 12:1

and now that this verse is in my heart, i shall resolve to lay aside the sin which so easily ensnares us, and to run the race of life looking to Jesus. and my prayer for all to do the same, and not let these sins rule their lives. excessive alcohol included.

created in His image.

2009-12-06T09:10:00.000-08:00

a good time to be reminded once again. this verse shall carry my weary soul till next year.

"Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness;
let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air,
and over the cattle, over all the earth
and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

So God created man in His own image;
in the image of God He created him;
male and female He created them.

Then God blessed them, and God said to them,
“Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it;
have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air,
and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”"

- Genesis 1:26-28

the travel itch.

2009-11-28T08:35:00.000-08:00

A part of Lake Crescent
Olympic National Park
Washington, USA
Summer, 2007

itching to travel again, but too many things going on in december.

i miss road trips. i miss my crazy road trip days in US. where i can have a crazy idea, hop out and rent a car, plan the route, drive to safeway to buy food, pile into the car and just drive. and within hours, i'm surrounded by amazing views, a thousand and one things to see, do and explore.

when you live on an island of a small country, this is what you yearn for.

well anyway, thoughts this weekend:

#1 - new moon the movie was much better than i had anticipated. and the movie is 1000x better than the book, which i hated. so there it goes. sister and i were hoping we wouldn't run into our students in the theater. :)

#2 - just finished watching CNN heroes, the tribute. as always, anderson cooper is too cute in his head of silver-white hair. but more than that, the inspiring stories that showcase how amazing and how far a single person or a group of persons can go to reach out to those in need.

orphans in east timor, the homeless that go hungry in new york city, children in need of prosthetic limbs, iraqi children in need of wheelchairs, women and children in zimbabwe that are raped at 6 years old by 18 HIV-positive men, women without health insurance that need mammograms and SO MANY MORE.

this beats the nobel peace prize.

#3 - choices. and choosing wisely.

#4 - and recapping:

"I beseech you therefore, brethren,
by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice,
holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service."
- Romans 12:1

say cheese!

2009-11-24T01:37:00.000-08:00

oreo cheesecake for dad's birthday

decided to post up my oreo cheesecake recipe after sam requested for it all the way from perth. :) since i have the soft copy, might as well share the joy right. christmas is coming is coming afterall. and i'm celebrating by listening to old bethany christmas concert songs and reminiscing about the good old days. and looking forward with much excitement and joy to this year's musical, and honouring the Lord and His tender grace upon me this year. :)

i had trouble looking for a reliable oreo cheesecake recipe - my usual suspects (nigella, hummingbird bakery, jamie oliver, and i even checked anthony bourdain! knowing full well he wouldn't have one in his les halles cookbook) didn't have one. so i decided to use nigella's new york cheesecake ('cos it was so successful everytime) and invent my own oreo crust.

Enjoy! :)

a 70th birthday oreo cheesecake

Ingredients for the base:
250g oreo biscuits, without cream (estimated)
150g unsalted butter, melted
3 tablespoons caster sugar (reduced sugar version: 2 tbsps)

For the cake:
23cm springform tin (from phoon huat)
250g caster sugar (reduced sugar version: 175g)
2 tablespoons corn flour
750g cream cheese
6 large eggs, separated
2 teaspoons vanilla extract (i usually put in 1 more teaspoon cos i love vanilla so much)
150ml double cream
150ml sour cream (can be replaced with another 150ml double cream)
½ teaspoon salt (just pinch)
zest of 1 lemon
icing sugar for dusting
strawberries, raspberries or blackberries to serve/garnish

The Baking!
1. Mix together the crushed biscuits, melted butter and 3 tablespoons of sugar
2. Press into the base of the springform tin
3. Leave in the fridge for ½ hour

4. Preheat oven 170 degree celsius
5. In a large bowl, mix together the caster sugar and corn flour.
6. Beat in the cream cheese, egg yolks, vanilla either by hand or electric beater
7. Slowly pour in both creams, beating constantly
8. Add the salt and lemon zest
9. Whisk the egg whites to stiff peaks, then fold into the cheese mixture.
10. Scoop onto the chilled base
11. Bake for 1-1.5 hours without opening the oven door, until the cheesecake is golden brown on top.
12. Turn off the heat and let the cake stand in the oven for 2 more hours.
13. Open the oven door and let it stand for a further 1 hour.
14. Serve chilled, dusted with icing sugar. Garnish with fresh fruits.

Serves 12-14

Notes:
as always i would reduce the sugar amounts dramatically.

the first 2 times i followed exactly, but this time i was tired of having left-over sour and double cream. so i experimented doing away with sour cream and replacing it with double cream. so i used the entire 300ml cup of double cream, plus reducing the sugar a little more to combat the sweetness and it turned out well.

step #9 is something that nigella says will ensure that the cheesecake is less dense and light and fluffy. so be sure to whisk till stiff peaks. it really makes a difference!

I know the baking procedure sounds super troublesome. but i never questioned it, and following the steps ensured that my cheesecake turned out awesome.

ray of sunshine.

2009-11-12T08:07:00.000-08:00

rays of sunshine
view from the top of the spanish steps
rome, italy
summer'08

*Sometimes the sun shines on other people's houses and not mine
Somedays the clouds paint the sky all gray it takes away the summer time
and somehow the sun keeps shining upon you while i struggle to get mine
if there's a light in everybody, send out your ray of sunshine*

i want to walk the same roads as everyone else
through the trees and past the gates
getting high on heavenly breezes
and making new friends along the way
i won't ask much of nobody
i'm just here to sing along
and make my mistakes look gracious
and learn some lessons from my wrongs

Sometimes the sun shines on other people's houses and not mine
Somedays the clouds paint the sky all gray it takes away the summer time
while the sun keeps shining upon you while i'm kindly standing by
a little light never hurt nobody send out a ray of sunshine

Ohh if this little light of mine combined with yours today
how many watts could we 'luminate
how many villages could we save
well my umbrella is tried of the weather wearing me down
well look at me now, look at me now

you should look as good as your outlook
would you mind if i took some time
to soak up your light, your beautiful light,
you got a paradise inside
i get hungry for love and thirsty for life
but much too full on the pain
when i look to the sky to help me
and it often looks like rain

*

you're undeniably warm, cerulean
you're perfect in design
i hope you hang around

so the sun it can shine on me
and the clouds can all roll away
and the sky can become our possibility

'cause there's a light in everybody
send out your ray of sunshine
- jason mraz

say a little prayer.

2009-10-05T07:28:00.000-07:00

today, tears fell as i talked to 4 of my girls. 3 of them openly teared uncontrollably, and i had no heart to tell them to stop. so instead, i stopped talking and let them cry.

later the 4th one admitted, she thought it was weird to cry over the stresses of school work. so she cries at home, where her sister is around to lend her a shoulder.

what started off as a extended-remedial session turned into an impromptu do-not-despair-there's-still-hope session. i experienced first hand how important my job is, fearing that the inability to cope with stress could drive my sweet girls to horrible consequences. i drew on past experience to help them understand the things they are going through. and i hope i did something right - and helped them to strive to cope with the demands of their school work, exams, and everything else. to be resilient. so they can be better prepared for what life brings.

but i also realised it's hard not to bring in God and His strength and comfort. looking back, He has blessed me during my times in JC, even when i turned away from Him, even when i did not seek Him. i don't remember being unable to cope with the heavy demands of 4 A level subjects, students' council, band and everything else. retrospectively, i can attribute these blessings to God's invisible hand in my life.

as i spoke to my girls, i'm fighting the urge not to bring in the comfort that God brings - because i know my limits of teaching in a secular school, and that i was talking to my students in school. i know God's power and His grace will be a source of comfort to them in this difficult time. but i know just about the only thing i can do is to pray for them, and to be there for them. and that's a start.

I've always treasured verses like these, from Deuteronomy. this week's memory verse:

"You must not fear them, for the Lord your God Himself fights for you."
Deuteronomy 3:22

***

last week during bethany's mid-autumn festival celebrations, pastor and i bonded over the simplest of things. tea. and it came out of nowhere, but inexplicably it brought a great sense of joy to my heart. strange.

pairing different chinese teas with different cuisines is just like pairing different wines to different meats. a certain tea (long jing) is good for sweet desserts - like mooncakes. and pastor and i very excitedly discussed why this is so. or rather, i told him how the taste went and it was right on the money! then later, he brewed another pot of a different tea (tie kuan yin), came over to the group i was chatting with, pulled me away and got me to try it. :) pastor's so cute. and i went away learning more about teas, making sure to ask him about teas more often, and making a mental note to buy him chinese teas when i travel to china.

i've always treasured pastor and His ministry and service to the Lord as our pastor. of late, i've realised how precious this fact is. from seeing how other pastors from other churches conduct funeral services, and realising how pastor takes the effort to tailor each message to suit the subject (funeral, wedding, baptism etc.) and the audience, how he makes an effort to get to know the youngest of children to the oldest of our brethren.

and just last weekend, how he strives to do the Lord's work despite his health. on friday, i received news of pastor's condition (bell's palsy) that rendered half of his face paralysed. after much prayer, i thought he would be resting at home, receiving treatment and medication. but i saw him in the lift on sat evening, leaving church. and i was stunned. pastor came to work just a day after his diagnosis. i thought he wouldn't be preaching from the pulpit on sunday - but he did. i thought pastor mark/mitch would be teaching us in catechism class on sunday afternoon - but he came in and taught us from Philippians 2, on humility. and i was struck again and again by his utmost dedication. plus the joy that is so evident when he is serving the Lord.

"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God,
but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant,
and coming in the likeness of men.
And being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death,
even the death of the cross."
Philippians 2:5-8

in Jesus we have the example of true humility - and despite the fact that Jesus had EVERY reason in the world to be proud, (and we, as humans, have NO REASON whatsoever to be proud), He humbled Himself, became a servant, and was obedient to the point of His death on the cross. and pastor really conducts himself according to his faith. and he is the example for us all. and that's why he and his ministry are so precious to me. and i'm sure, to many of us. :)

that summer's moving on.

2009-08-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

beach, facing the north sea
st. andrew's, scotland
summer'08

How the time passed away
All the trouble that we gave
And all those days we spent out by the lake
Has it all gone to waste?
All the promises we made
One by one they vanished just the same

Now it all seems so clear
There's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long
That summer's moving on
We reach for something that's already gone

*All the things I still remember
Summer's never looked the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain

In the middle of September
We'd still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end*

- September, Daughtry

longing for the carefree days of summer.
travelling and seeing the world.

time just seems to fly.
but the memories remain.

:)

the bonds of gratitude.

2009-07-27T07:21:00.000-07:00

dusk at marina barrage
singapore
july'09

's been a long time since i was here. it's been a flurry of activity starting work and all. coupled with stealing time off to have a family picnic, or the birthday celebrations with all my dearest friends. work can be quite crazy but somehow, i enjoy my busy days. it's a love-hate relationship.

though there's always a time everyday that i hate my job. the first 10minutes after i force myself out of bed. working 10-12 hour days everyday, 5 days a week, is no joke.

but with the Lord's grace and strength i will make it. :)

***

well normally when i'm feeling bored, or when i get the travel itch, i'd come here, post a pretty picture that i took during my travels, write a bit and go back to what i'm doing. nowadays, apart from work, i go out or i try and finish my mammoth 4-season marathon of House.

as a result, this has been empty for awhile. and only something thought-provoking would bring me here.

via mr brown's twitter, i came across an article posted on a local e-journal of sorts. and being a sort-of scholar myself, i took it to myself to read the entire article, which was very very long. you'd think the author, a published author, writer and english major in northwestern many years ago and ex-teacher, would appreciate concision and some form of structure and organization in her essay.

anyway, she laments about her not making an informed decision when she signed on that dotted line when she was 19years old, and later being confined to the red tape of bureaucracy, forced to conform to government protocols, ideals and concepts.

later, she muses about how an overseas college education can profoundly change a person. and in that process, she had changed. and she resented her bond period, but still dutifully executed her responsibilities. she was the 'reluctant stayer', even when in her heart, she was a 'quitter', at least according to our PM.

don't think this summary does the article justice. so go read if you're interested.

my points. i agree with many points of view. and disagree. i'm sure many scholars would whole-heartedly applaud. but i do beg to differ.

1. at the beginning of it all, we made the choice to sign on the dotted line. we had all the time, the reasoning, the brain that God has given us to exercise free will. and whether we have made an informed decision or not, the onus lies with us to live with our decision.

if we were ignorant of the consequences, the job that awaits us or if we haven't given serious thought about the 6-year bond period or the 6-figure liquidated damages awaiting us should we quit, then the fault lies with no one, but us.

2. i'm one of the firm believers of quality teachers vs quantity. it's part of my idealistic nature, but the cynic in me says it's impossible. even with scholars, even with the best grades and the most amazing CVs, when your heart is not with teaching, you are not suitable. period. and for a scholar who resents that bond period, counting the days, i'd rather see your students in the hands of someone who has the heart for teaching.

3. fact of life - you can never escape politics and bureaucracy. it's everywhere. enough said.

4. i agree with all my heart, a college education changes one in ways that may still be invisible to us. years spent in classes, labs, project meetings, FYP madness, hall suppers, late-night production rehearsals, inter-school/hall games, illegal bbqs on school property, organizing events, midnight birthday sabo parties, mahjong sessions, cooking and drinking parties.

but having said that, the privilege of receiving a college education is not something that is available to all. some work their butts off to get into university. and for someone who has had the silver platter handed to (me included), shouldn't we be just the least bit thankful?

5. which brings me to my final point - on gratitude. without my sort-of scholarship, an award actually, i would never had been able to save my parents from footing my tuition fees AND give me allowance. my parent's money can be put to better use. i wouldn't be exposed to teaching attachments to reaffirm my decision of becoming a teacher. and i wouldn't have to look for a job in uncertain times.

and more importantly, i wouldn't be able to get an allowance top-up when i went on exchange, and enjoy my time in the US that much more. :) haha. and this 6-month stint in seattle did change me, widen my perspectives and made me realise - i have so much to be thankful for.

jason mraz is one of my favorite singers in the world. he's super talented, has a great voice, writes songs amazingly well. while i don't always agree with some parts of his lifestyle (eg. eating only raw food, argh; his spiritual beliefs are kind of strange etc.), but something i've always appreciated him for, is his continued reminders to be thankful. thankful for the people around us. for the world around us. to show gratitude for things that you have taken for granted.

from my perspective, i thank God for His grace and faithfulness. He has created all things, cared for all things, and abides with me everyday. When i was contemplating about accepting the award vs appealing into medical school, He allowed me to make an informed decision through prayer, meditation and placed people in my life who fed me sound advice. even as a very young Christian who was so far from being perfect and sinless, His faithfulness never faltered.

and because i was at peace with my decision, signing on the dotted line was easy. it was the best offer ever - to get paid to do something i love. even in the midst of difficulties, emotional turmoils, neverending work, horrible students who refuse to listen, i know my decision was right, and i know God will be there to strengthen me for the things to come.

and that is why, the next 3 years of my bond period should fly by pretty quickly. and i stick to my choice.

old english town.

2009-06-26T08:37:00.000-07:00

flowers along lake road
windermere, britain

love spring and summer. flowers bloom. blue skies. the sun shines and yet the temperature hovers around 21C.

back to reality. of temperature screenings, work emails, admin, unpacking, getting rid of jet lag, editing photos and whatnot.

***

highlights of london'09

watching ethan hawke, rebecca hall and company for a 2nd time this year, in the 2nd play of the double bill production by the old vic. i watched the winter's tale (shakespeare) in singapore for SGD123, and the cherry orchard (chekhov) in london for SGD20. ok the seats were crappy but i had no choice. theatre was full. nevertheless it was good, but i think the winter's tale was more gut-wrenching and emotional. although a plus point of cherry orchard is that ethan had a more meaty role. :)
hanging out with the sister, after so long. we had our own marks&spencer dinner in her cosy apartment after cherry orchard when everyone else had fallen asleep. some yummy meatballs, salad and red wine.
shopping was fabulous. the pound exchange rate was favorable and i shopped like a crazy woman at H&M. also bought lots of presents and stuff at harrods, whittard of chelsea, gucci (sale!), absolute vintage etc.
watched wicked for the 2nd time with the sister, cousin-in-law and niece. ahhh sister and i were so deliriously happy after the musical. (and before too). i remember why i love the musical so much. and it was good to hear the witty dialogue again. also bought some merch (don't care if it's super ex!).
the sister's cosy apartment with 10000 cable channels, pretty flowers, wooden floors for the living room, carpet floors for the bedroom, nice toilet, endless supply of wine, whisky, ginger ale, snacks and a well-stocked kitchen. :) we watched movies and tv shows on cable almost every night.
taking the red london buses everywhere. i realise i should take buses more often when i travel rather than the tube/subway/metro/trains. they go underground and you can't see the sights and hear the sounds. with the bus i got to see the sights around london, saw how londoners lived their lives.
exploring nooks and corners of london on my own. enjoying the beautiful weather. not a foggy day in sight!

well more highlights to come.

speaking of london, MJ was due to hold 50 concerts in london next month. and i remember lamenting not being able to afford/attend/get tickets for the concert. and i woke up today to sad news of his death. while i was supicious about his alleged accusations of child molestation and whatnot years ago, i can't deny his great influence on pop music and dance. that influence lasts till today and will continue through the years. his music and songs, often filled with socially-conscious lyrics (see Man In The Mirror, my all-time favorite; Heal the World, another favorite; Black or White, another favorite; Will You Be There, also another favorite).

as i tweeted earlier, my 1st memory of MJ is rocking out to the beats of Black or White. that was probably in primary school. and my 2nd memory of MJ was listening to 'Will You Be There' at the end of Free Willy the movie. and falling in love with the song.

i leave you with some lyrics to Man In The Mirror. :) respecting a great pop legend that paved the way for music that will inspire and transcend through the generations.

As I turned up the collar on
A favorite winter coat
This wind is blowin' my mind
I see the kids in the street
With not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind
Pretending not to see their needs

...

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.

the case for the single 20-something girl.

2009-06-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

on top of Calton Hill
edinburgh, scotland
may'08

countdown to europe'09: 4 days

i'm dreaming of the sprawling views of lake district in britain now, and shutting out pre-trip jitters, troubles, unhappiness.

at the risk of sounding like a spoiled brat, note to self: do not offer to plan back-to-back trips with the family, free-and-easy. it's a thankless job that should be done once in 2 years (at least).

***

at the 2nd risk of sounding like a materialistic girl - i recently discovered something. i'm sure this stemmed from my 2nd sister, but being single in your 20s is a great thing.

meeting up with old friends, some of the conversations have shifted course. we're now in the territory of weddings, HDB flats, engagement parties, diamonds and such. at first i was kinda taken aback at this shift, because i was still thinking that we should be talking about jobs and money and repaying our tuition loan and promotions and stuff. but the whole picture of marriage has secretly crept in.

as i listen to my friends forking out $10,000 and above for HDB downpayments, scrimping and saving for their wedding dinners, looking at renovation costs, wedding dresses etc., i can't help but smile at my own freedom from all that.

well, no doubt, i can't deny the comfort of having someone you love to provide emotional support in these turbulent times of transition and change in our 20s.

but i saw the better side of singlehood. the freedom of my days to spend with family and friends instead of running off to meet the BF. to cultivate good relationships with friends and colleagues and inevitably - network - with people that may come "useful" in future.

and the ability to enjoy the finer comforts of life. after struggling as a poor student for so many years, now it's time to spend those hard-earn cash at pampering oneself with nicer things. you work hard, and play hard right?

i've been able to wine and dine at nicer restaurants with nice food, buy clothes/bags/shoes that are slightly more expensive and a little more often than usual, bake more often and let my friends reap the joys of home-made desserts, go for awesome concerts, gigs, plays, movies (monsters vs aliens and terminator salvation back-to-back), buy CDs/DVDs, zai zai lens for the DSLR, give a little more back to God and His Work, and most of all, travel and see the world.

of course, material things should not replace love. and i'm not advocating that.

my point is: i've seen many strong women in their 20s and 30s who are single and loving it. not in the i'm-pretending-to-love-it-so-i-won't-look-pathetic way. but for real. and i know that they are as confident and complete as any woman who is happily attached or married. these women have great relationships with friends and family and are happy with their lives. and more often than not, they are walking rightly with the Lord.

well, as and when my white knight comes along to sweep me off my feet, i will patiently wait and think about saving money for my wedding (hopefully i'd earn more money then, so the burden's not so great, heh). and meanwhile, i can pamper myself and do more things with the little money i have and the little time i have for myself, that is my own. without worries, for now.

missing japan.

2009-05-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

colorful japanese trinkets on sale
asakusa, tokyo
december'08

yesterday i watched a youtube interview of jason mraz. he (and toca) was asked of all the cities and countries that he has visited, which one was his favorite? (p.s. toca's favorite was sydney, australia which i think is a boring response. heh. but i still like toca)

my immediate response was japan, though a tiny part of me hoped he'd say singapore (but that's quite impossible). and after some thinking, he said JAPAN! :) :) it's amazing how japan captivates. caucasians and asians alike. not china, not korea, not taiwan, not hongkong.

i am looking forward to going back to japan and exploring hokkaido, nagoya and the small towns. maybe i'll drag a friend-fluent-in-japanese and backpack all over. i don't care if it's expensive. :)

today i went into tampines 1 for the 1st time (yes i know i'm falling behind on trends), and went into uniqlo! it's quite big but not much variety. don't really like the layout. messy. but the quality of clothes still typical japanese. love the carpeted changing rooms and the take-off-your-footwear in the changing rooms concept. very very japanese. service staff sorely lacking in japanese hospitality though. i still love the uniqlos in tokyo. :)

i miss japan now. gotta go look at my japan pictures.

london's-a-calling.

2009-05-28T07:36:00.000-07:00

the coast of eastern UK, dotted with sheep
somewhere between london and edinburgh
may 2008

i'm counting down to the day i leave for london. 14 days. after much research and many changes, finally decided on a side trip to lake district, which apparently has been called england's answer to the swiss alps.

it seems so long ago that i was on my grad trip around western europe. a trip that i've learnt so much and saw so much. i want to do trips like that every year. :)

today i played the guitar again, after many years of not touching it. and my wrist and fingers hurt. heh. :) but good to play and sing to songs.

tomorrow i'm going to attempt to bake successfully the new york cheesecake, after my first attempt of lemon cheesecake.

days like these just don't come anymore.

summer is here. :)

2009-05-26T08:37:00.000-07:00

before tp started; horsing around with photobooth

after tp, life's been good. we keep saying it's our last chance ever to relax, chill out and have fun before we are released to schools to bear to brunt of working life and horrible students.

summer is here early and it's hotter than ever. coupled with fieldtrips to sungei buloh wetland reserve, labrador park rocky shore and macritchie nature reserve, makes for plenty of heat rashes, mozzie bites, sticky skin, cold drinks, air-con blasting.

time has been mostly spent with my crazy nie friends. my other friends are all working in the day. so gatherings, dinners, lunches, movies, east coast park, badminton, weddings (indian temple, catholic church, zoo reception) etc. have been spent with them.

we have eaten everywhere in singapore. we have travelled everywhere in singapore. east, west, north west, northeast, south, central. from city center, traffic jams to the most ulu parts of singapore.

i'm reminded that love is all around. :)

i have started baking again. :) to which i'm very happy about.

i have learnt a lot about plants, sea creatures, animals and birds.

i'm falling in love with my new DSLR and lens. awesome photos.

i love the american idol finale. i love both kris allen and adam lambert. i love the 10,000 performances for the finale show. i love that some kind souls on the internet have made the m*p3s of the performances and studio versions of the songs available. :) and i like the music education i get from american idol.

i realized that kris allen's cover of bob dylan's to make you feel my love, makes me cry.

i have learnt that hope in God's promises is what drives me day to day. and i have to be conscious of His promises so i do not lose sight of what is important in life. that i don't drift from event to event, job to job, day by day. and to see His creations so diverse, creative and lovely, however small and insignificant they may be.

sea anemones

inter-tidal zone of labrador park rocky shores

a parisian dream.

2009-05-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

pont des arts
paris, france
june 2008

i'm pining for paris. again.

the slow strains of a lone accordion.
the melancholy sounds of a violin.
the artwork on the walls of the train station.
the stories of the french revolution, wars, tour de france, napoleon.
the french's obsession with 'genderizing' every inanimate object.
the girl in black, knee-high boots and black eyeliner.
cracking the caramelised top of my crème brûlée.
sipping a glass of red wine with some marvelous duck confit and onion soup.
donning my beret, in an effort to be french-chic. :)
the massive hallways of the louvre.
the looming grandeur of the eiffel tower by day, the sparkling diamonds by night.

one more month to britain/france'09. :)

thrash it out.

2009-05-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

i like it when issues come into my head. from lively lunch conversations to blog posts to facebook notes to twitter 140-character muses to long op-ed pieces online to song lyrics.

i like that there's diversity in opinions. i like it when i'm challenged to review my own mind, my own stand, my own opinion of these issues. from the aware saga, to global warming, to the H1N1 pandemic, to the civil service and what it means to be a public servant, to my own knowledge of God's word and how to apply His word correctly and appropriately to our lives here on our temporary home, a tent if you like (1 Cor).

when i read/hear contrasting views, i remind myself that pluralism and diversity in our world is good. it forces us to re-examine our own set of beliefs and values. not only that, it also forces me to admit my own sinful nature (which i thoroughly despise myself for) and judgmental ways, and reminds me along the way that i'm in no business to criticize others and be self-righteous. that God has given each human being his/her own free will. and how we exercise that right to choose will ultimately determine our own fate and affect our walk with God.

just some thoughts i don't want to forget before going to bed.

***

adam lambert is awesome! and though i was a fan of danny gokey, he has become so cocky and over-confident. and he totally screwed the last note of 'dream on'. i think kris should go into top 3. but danny fans will be voting in full force. oh well.

***

i'm getting chills from the most unlikely songs.

chris martin on the piano singing 'have yourself a merry little christmas' (yes i listen to christmas songs all year round).
jason mraz on the guitar, plucking etta james cover, 'at last' in the beginning of 'sleep all day'.
stars, the haunting song 'barricade'.
rachael yamagata and the harmonies on 'duet'.
mairi campbell & dave francis's version of 'auld lang syne', on OST of sex and the city movie.
jack johnson, sings english and spanish on 'belle'.
death cab for cutie, 'transatlanticism'.
jewel and sarah mclaughlin, beautiful melodies on 'song for a winter's night'.
jason mraz and piano, unplugged 'mr. curiosity' as heard at singapore concert 2009

did i ever mention how much i love music and how i can't live without it? :)

overheard from house.

2009-05-05T04:16:00.000-07:00

house: "trans-tracheal aspiration."
foreman: "that's practically waterboarding!"
wilson: "that's pretty radical."
hallucination-amber: "that's a great idea."
house, ignores amber: "is it regular radical, me radical or me-out-of-my-mind radical?"
wilson: "somewhere between regular and you."
house: "so what's the problem?"

haha i love such dialogue in House. hugh laurie is really a genius at playing House, and wilson (robert sean leonard). my guy from dead poet's society. love them both.

anyways it's a sneaky way to get waterboarding into the dialogue. especially now condi rice is under fire for the bush's administration actions and policies. and i'm getting lots of such storylines. grey's this week featured an anti-deforestation activist who was flung off the tree she was staying in when they cut down that tree.

and i applaud the writers of House for not blowing the whole amber-in-house's-head hallucination out of proportion, like what grey's anatomy did with denny and izzie. i never appreciated the whole making-love-to-a-hallucinated-person, even when battlestar galactica did it. but the sci-fi nature of BSG and the subsequent ending kind of accounts for that possibility.

but grey's was just stuck in a rut. i'm glad it's getting better now. :)

but Lost ranks at the top with House now. it better not kill of daniel faraday for good. i know with time travel, everything is possible now. faraday's my favorite character from the huge ensemble cast.

how to be (normal).

2009-04-29T01:29:00.000-07:00

work at T is drawing to a close in a week's time. and reflecting on the past 9 weeks, i wouldn't say time has gone by in a flash, because it certainly doesn't feel like it.

i'm glad for the long weekend coming up. followed by one last week of madness. followed by another long weekend. followed by going back to NIE to see all my friends once again. followed by nonsense M*OE stuff for 2 weeks, and i can finally be on my way to london and paris! i'm starting my england road trip research and will be moving on to the france road trip research and it looks super exciting! :) :) i'm extremely glad for my job which allows for longer-than-usual travels without having to take no-pay leave.

last weekend ML and i caught the film 'how to be', as part of the Singapore International Film Festival. and i'm pretty sure 7/8 of the theater was filled with robert pattinson fans, who laughed at every silly thing his character does onscreen. and it got so annoying 'cos rob's character in the film is this socially awkard, almost asperger's syndrome-like young man who struggles with being 'normal'. so you know, many awkard things he does elicited giggles and laughs.

ARGH.

anyway the film felt long, and i can assuredly attribute that to the intricacies of the film. small, tight london spaces, emotional baggage and struggles, few characters, the popularity of self-help in our society (self-help books, TV shows, podcasts, motivational talks etc.), the definitions of the social contract, and a young man's desire and his journey to becoming a 'normal' person. these are some heavy themes. but it was expertly handled by the writer-director, oliver irving and woven into the plot.

after the movie wrapped, as with film festivals, the film's producer, justin kelly, was around to give the audience (those who stayed) some insight into the film-making process. and he called oliver irving on his cell and people got to ask him questions about the process. we also talked to the film's composer and 2 of its actors (no, not rob. he's filming new moon now.) as they were at a new york film festival. it was pretty interesting hearing stories from the set and how the movie came to be from script to screen. and learning what it means to shoot on location in london's famous tiny houses and rooms.

i think robert is a natural at such roles - and not so much to blockbustery handsome and drop dead (pun intended for both HP and T) gorgeous jocks like in harry potter and twilight. although if the next 2 movies of the twilight saga follow the books faithfully, robert will be able to show his acting-as-an-emotional-wreck-prowess as edward cullen.

the music was fabulous. and i may just get my hands on the soundtrack when it's released here in Singapore (from the mouth of justin kelly). robert, the tortured artist, contributes 3 songs to the soundtrack, which he played and performed in the film.

well the themes of normalcy resonated with my thoughts - thoughts that came about when i was volunteering at autism children's center a while back. that time, i read quite widely on the issues involving people with disabilities that are trying to integrate into the mainstream society. and some articles dealt with the idea of normalcy.

who defines what's normal. is there even a definition? if there's no clear cut definition, then why do we label people as being abnormal? i think that all of us are a little bit crazy. and if you're (or were) a biology student, you'd understand if i say normalcy is a continuous variation, controlled by many factors. an example of a continuous variation is height. and a discontinuous variation: presence of ear lobes. i'm sure you can tell what i mean by now.

i think there's no such thing as 'normal' and 'abnormal'. and to see people struggling with trying to be normal just because what they are and who they are are socially unaccepted is a warped form of discrimination. in the film, because arthur felt that he was so different and abnormal as compared to other people, and how his girlfriend broke up with him, all stemmed from a rough childhood and parents who were busy with work and had strange (lacking a better descriptive) parenting styles. and the emotional roller-coaster that he went through just to become 'normal' and to be perceived as 'normal' was heartbreaking to watch.

one point that justin kelly made during the Q&A - that children who grew up with super-liberal parenting or super-conservative parenting usually turn out okay, or even great. and those children with problems/difficulties are usually ones with parents who have inconsistent parenting style - switching between liberal and conservative.

and that's a point worth thinking about.

hokay. leaving to watch x-men origins. :) sayonara.

"he's kinda crazy."

2009-04-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

while surfing around for news,

"It was like 10 o'clock. Everybody was asleep and we hear all this barking and jumping around," Mrs. Obama said. "The president and I came out and we thought somebody was out there. And it was just Bo. He was playing with his ball. And it was like there was another person in the house.

"He's kind of crazy, but he's still a puppy. So he likes to play a lot," she said.

The dog, unveiled last week after months of speculation, was a gift to Obama daughters Malia and Sasha.

"He loves to chew on people's feet," Mrs. Obama divulged to more than 100 children invited to a program marking the annual Take Your Child to Work Day.

-via Huffingtonpost.com

haha all dogs are the same. :) i remember hugo growing up, chewing on slippers and rubber things and people's feet. and just about everything he can get his paws on.

well today was FJ benjamin's 30% storewide sale at banana republic, gap, la senza, raoul, guess. and taka had this big crazy shoes and bags sale. and i spend WAY too much money on a gap white shirtdress, gap striped work pants, enzo angiolini booties and calvin klein clutch. ARGH.

long week over. more thoughts coming up. too much that my brain is overflowing.

hokay time to sleep.

the solid ground.

2009-04-14T19:32:00.000-07:00

" On Christ the solid rock i stand,
all other ground is sinking sand."

pre-easter thoughts.

2009-04-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

the insane week comes to a close. and what better way to end it. by celebrating the death and resurrection of my Lord and his work on the cross.

singing at easter's musicale, more than just a man, has been very impactful. i think the medium of acting and stepping into the shoes of a character is pretty amazing. to be a totally (ok maybe not totally) different person. and especially in this musical.

i remember distinctly a q&a sort of application/quiz that i did on facebook years ago. if i could go back in time, when would that be. and i remembered so clearly my answer was - to go back to the time where Jesus was teaching and preaching and performing miracles. and in this musical, i'm able to see uncle W as Jesus, teaching and healing and carrying the cross all bloodied and beaten and finally be nailed to the cross with all my sins. as a member of the crowd watching him, i could just imagine what a great privilege it was to be able to learn from the Master Teacher Himself. to hear Him speak and teach God's word. i catch myself being so mesmerized by the scenes that i forget my lyrics. :)

well, on a similar note, my prayers of late have been focused on being a good teacher to my students, and to learn from the Master Teacher Himself. always seeking to learn from His word and His ways and never to fall into the trap of being too-smart or too-proud or holier-than-thou or smarter-than-you.

today i taught my first integrated program class of sec 3s. it was daunting 'cos
1) chemistry is not my strength, forte, university major.
2) they are IP kids, supposedly creme of the crop.
3) my CT is the HOD of science, though he's a jolly good fellow, easy going and sometimes a bit insane.
4) having to plan and teach a 100-minute lesson for the first time in my life in chemistry.
5) my fellow practicum friend requested that she sat in my class, and i didn't want to turn her down because of my nerves. also because it'll be a good learning opportunity for both of us. so i had 2 people observing my lesson.

so i survived with loads of self-discipline to plan and research and come up with that lesson, 'stealing' ideas from the internet, periodic distractions of entertainment news and tv shows (HOUSE delivered a shocking suicide!), lots of music blasting in my ears (muse, coldplay, jason mraz, avalon, switchfoot, david cook), lots of teh-o peng and earl grey tea, escape-from-work lunch at old airport road and getting hazed by my own chemistry teacher who took my phone and hid it in his pocket,

and lots of prayers and more prayers.

well they all worked. although it was murphy's law galore during my lesson - i got generally positive comments from my HOD. and i thought the kids understood ionic bonding (crossing fingers).

ok the insane week actually continues into easter weekend. so it's all about planning and managing again. which i dislike 'cos my ideal easter weekend is filled not with work, but with the Lord and His people and His songs. but what to do.

ok i'm ranting. so i shall go back to my mountain of marking. and tomorrow i'll don on my jew costume and be a merry jewish girl celebrating the passover in jeruselum and hearing Jesus teach and rejoicing at His resurrection. Jesus is alive! :) :)

***

am i the only one who thinks that chris martin (coldplay) looks quite like hugh laurie (house). maybe it's the british guy look. :)

tales of long, hard winters.

2009-04-03T06:33:00.000-07:00

so it's been almost a week since i last saw ethan hawke and heard him sing and play the guitar. :)

and i was so lucky to catch him outside esplanade theater's stage door, his guitar case strapped to his back. :) ahhhhh why didn't i just stop and say hi?

ok so the winter's tale wasn't all about that. in fact, ethan hawke's character, autolycus, is a supporting character in shakespeare's tragic comedic play. yes, a paradox there. bear with me while i remember the plot, which is super interesting and tragically shakespearean.

plot
act 1

the play opens in the kingdom of sicilia. the king of neighbouring city bohemia, polixenes (josh hamilton) was visiting the king of sicilia, leontes (simon russel beale). polixenes has been in sicilia for months now, and they are enjoying one another's company. leontes has a beautiful and pregnant wife, hermione (rebecca hall) and a young son, mamillius (morven christie). polixenes decides to return to bohemia, anxious to see his son and wife, after being away for so long. but leontes, eager for his great company, tries to get him to stay for a longer time. after he fails, he sends hermione to persuade him, and quite readily, polixenes agrees. onstage, the chemistry between hermione and polixenes is undeniable.

so now, leontes slowly begins to get suspicious. why did polixenes agree so quickly to hermione's request, when he himself, the king, tried so hard and failed? then his mind, from now on, went into a downward spiral as he rants on and on in long monologues, about how sure he was that his beautiful wife was having an affair with polixenes and that the baby is not his. his thoughts and mind literally drove him to insanity and extreme paranoia.

so he orders the lord of sicilia, camillo, to kill polixenes, and threw hermione into jail, pending charges of adultery and conspiracy. camillo, instead, warns polixenes, and together they flee sicilia for bohemia and never returned. hermione gives birth to a baby girl while in prison, and leontes orders antigonus (another lord of sicilia) to dispose of the illegitimate child.

when hermione was standing trial for her alleged charges, she pleads innocence and asks leontes to be reasonable and see things right again. the judge brings in the 'oracle', a magical quill that will tell the truth. the oracle, of course, writes that hermione is innocent. but leontes was so consumed with rage and paranoia that is beyond reason and logic, sentences her to death anyway. at the next moment, they find out that their son, mamillius has died. upon hearing the news, hermione, already distraught over her husband's decision, was so overcome with grief that she died. leontes finally comes to his senses and promises to grieve over his wife and son for as long as he shall live.

meanwhile, antigonus (dakin matthews, the reverend from desperate housewives; the headmaster of rory's prep school in gilmore girls; and many other roles in tv and films) and someone (i couldn't get the name) comes to the edge of bohemia and sets the infant down in a basket with a box full of money. in a thunderstorm, antigonus was chased away by a bear (hilarious and totally out of point. i wonder if shakespeare is trying to be funny) and i can't remember what happened to his companion.

then, a shepherd of bohemia (richard easton) chances upon the infant, and the money. he and his son 'clown' (who appeared just meters behind where i was sitting at esplanade theatre stalls, and shouted something so loudly that i nearly jumped out from my seat) adopts the baby girl and takes the money.

time enters. 16 years has passed. leontes has spent 16 years grieving for his wife and son. the baby girl, named perdita (played by the same actress who played mamillius), has grown into a beautiful young woman, bearing a striking resemblance to hermione. she does not know of her heritage or that she was adopted by the old shepherd. and she is dating the prince of bohemia (polixenes's son) florizel (michael braun, who looks asian-american).

act 2

opens with autolycus (ethan hawke), a rouge and thief. autolycus is a guitar strumming wanderer who goes from place to place, meeting people to steal from. he is michievous and has the best and funniest lines, and he reminds me of puck from a midsummer's night dream.

autolycus comes to the town festival and entertains (or rather, charms) the crowd (with the shepherd, perdita, florizel etc. present) with his songs and selling his stolen goods. there was a song and dance item, and another outrageous dance routine featuring 2 round balloons tied to the girls' chests and 1 long balloon tied to the guys' crotches. and the dance is super laden with sexual connotations and imagery. (again i wonder, what's the link?!?!)

2 visitors with hats and big white beards arrive at the town festival. they join in the festivities and found out that florizel, the prince, is marrying the daughter of the shepherd, perdita. one of the men questions florizel, whether he is inviting his father (the king) to the wedding, but (i couldn't catch why) florizel is not. all he** breaks loose when the 2 visitors reveal themselves to the polixenes (the king himself) and camillo (his now faithful servant). polixenes objects (i presume because perdita is not of a royal parentage) and demands that they break up and florizel return to court.

*ps. wouldn't it be twisted if perdita IS the illegitimate child of polixenes and hermione, which will make perdita and florizel step-siblings* (ok i watch too much tv).

so naturally, the couple decides to elope to sicilia. with a little help from autolycus (who has been watching from the sidelines quietly). the shepherd and his son hears of this, and decides that he should tell polixenes the truth about perdita's parentage. they chance upon autolycus, who tricks them into believing that he is a member of the court ('cos he's wearing florizel's robes, having exchanged them to help the couple disguise while eloping). the shepherd tells autolycus everything, and autolycus decides to help them and help polixenes by telling them where the couple went.

arriving at sicilia, the couple meets with leontes and members of the court. leontes notices the resemblance of perdita with his late wife, but says nothing of it. till polixenes and his entourage arrives at sicilia, and the truth is finally set free. leontes tearfully and emotionally reunites with his daughter, albeit awkardly. and polixenes agrees to the union.

paulina, wife of antigonus and good friend of hermione, announces that that's a statue (or wax figure) of hermione that has been completed and is waiting to be revealed. so she brings everyone to the statue. leontes asks why are there wrinkles on the face of the statue, and paulina says that it's because the artist is so skillful that he is able to project how hermione will look like now. and you know how this ends.

by magic, the statue comes to life. everyone was so taken aback that they asked if she could talk and walk. in actual fact, hermione had not died and was hid away from the wrath of leontes, knowing that one day her name will be cleared (also 'cos the oracle said so) and she will be reunited with her daughter again. and it was these thoughts that kept her going these past 16 years. mother and daughter are now tearfully reunited and the play ends. :)

***

hokay that took a long time to remember and type. with the help of wikipedia, i managed to really grasp the finer (but not literary) details of the play. this play is clearly defined into 2. 2 cities, 2 kings, 2 people, 2 acts, 2 different emotional acts. act 1 was very dark and tragic. act 2 was lighter, funnier and easy on the eyes, though the last part of act 2 dived into the heavy emotional part again. but that sort of acts as a nice bookend to coherently wrap up the play.

words
one thing's for sure. having studied literature only for 2 years, when i was 13-14 years old, and only studying one play in depth (shakespeare's the merchant of venice), it is hard to make out the language and words of the play. you kinda get the gist of what's happening on stage, but not the individual words. it also didn't help that some of the actors bunched up all their words into a long continous line of sounds with no discernible breaks in between. like josh hamilton. even though he was speaking in his native american accent, ohman, i couldn't catch his words!!

so that was probably the only bad thing, which i can attributed the fault to my untrained ears and mind.

actors/direction
were all really awesome. i have to mention the following:
simon russel beale (leontes) is a well-respected veteran of shakespearean theater. and it shows, loud and clear. he easily dived into the insane, twisted and paranoid mind of leontes and his monologues were amazing. the depth of his emotional performance was astoundingly good.

rebecca hall (hermione) was surprisingly good too. i didn't think much of her, but i was blown away by her performance too. she was so heartbreaking as the wronged, innocence wife and when she pleaded her case in court to leontes, wow, i really wanted to stand up and defend her and punch leontes for accusing her and giving her a big hug. :) it was so heartbreaking, and not to mention she's so gorgeous.

ethan hawke (autolycus). why, of course. :) need i say more?
well he was good too! as the theiving roaming rogue, he was right in character. this man can play anything, just look at his works. this character reminds me a little of johnny depp too. his deep voice. ahhh. could tell he was not very confident with singing and guitar-playing simultaneously (or maybe i just watched 2 great men who can do that well: chris martin, jason mraz). but no mistakes. and his singing was niiicccee. raspy tenor. :)

sam mendes (director) did a fabulous job with this interpretation. though i can't comment much without a basis of comparison, i got it. a shakespeare play, with dialogue in shakespearean english and many tales, and despite being tired from a whole day of activities in church, i still managed to understand, appreciate and enjoy the play! the comic relief sections were a good welcome from the heavy tragedies, though through his expert direction, they were protrayed tastefully and not overdone in a big-bang soap-opera fashion. well i wouldn't expect anything less from him actually. :) just wished he'd taken a curtain call with the cast.

costume design
very wintry. that was my impression and i wonder if it was deliberate. there were long coats with details on collars. fitted corset tops with long flowing full skirts and deep colours. hermione had this deep purple empire cut floor-length dress that she wore when she's pregnant and it's so nice! the men were well-dressed in formal coats, blazers, tux and dress pants. perdita had this gorgeous green grecian dress detailed with flowers.

sets/lighting design
was so nice. :) act 1 in sicilia had a beautiful backdrop of candles suspended in midair, and candles on the ground. act 2 in bohemia had the town festival. with red, white and blue (oh america, oh america) helium balloons everywhere. lighting was good. as always. i'm always fascinated by lighting design and esplanade theater has an impressive set of lights. every lighting direction and position was executed perfectly and complimented the play well.

music
not too much. some handbells, chimes, violins (for act 1), adding accordians, cellos, EH's guitar, guitars for act 2. but is beautifully scored. and EH's songs were nice too! in a folksy, country sort of way. songs that tell a story.

audience
heard from a friend who was at the opening night that the audience was horrible. she was at the 5th row from the front and had horrible audience neighbours. well M and i were quite blessed. first we were upgraded from circle 2 (3rd floor) to center stalls. of the stalls, we were 3rd row from the back of the ground level. and i was just so thankful for those $250-a-pop seats which i couldn't possibly afford. but those seats allowed me to enjoy the experience so much more, and actually see the facial expressions of each actor on stage.

and we had a great audience on sunday night! probably half of them were caucasians (much like the coldplay concert), but they were attentive, laughing at the appropriate parts and keeping quiet at the tragic parts. most of all, standing ovations are in order and the cast took another curtain call graciously. EH even clutch his right fist to his heart while he took a second bow. :)

hokay this is a long review. and i shall stop here for now. hopefully i can catch the other play of this double bill, the cherry orchard, in london. which will be played by the same cast. :)

***

well, friday is here again and i'm taking it easy. busy week next week. with my first chemistry IP class, lesson prep, tons of marking, event on (Holy) saturday, easter musical, easter lunch. shall unwind from this week with some saturday brunch, lazing with good friends next to horses. :) :)

feast your eyes!

2009-04-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

edward cullen
just before he steps into the sunlight at volterra
courtesy: smirks_works at livejournal.com

aren't these gorgeous posters? they're not the official ones (apparently they are really ugly). however, it is some fine photoshopping and a great eye for art. it even follows the plot of the book. :)

source

bella swan
just before she jumps off the cliff at la push, setting off a huge chain of events
courtesy: smirks_works at livejournal.com

haha what a nice way to keep me company through a work day. :)

the awesomeness of march.

2009-03-30T08:14:00.000-07:00

why march was such an unforgettable month.

caught jason mraz live. amazing.
caught many good movies with good friends (benjamin button, he's just not that into you, slumdog millionaire, marley&me).
had a great time at MH's. chilling to nice pizzas from serangoon gardens and a night of guitar hero world tour and good company.
had many catchup sessions with various friends from NIE, bethany, and all over, over good meals. always enjoying good fellowship and the fruits of our labor.
work was both satisfying and frustrating at the same time. which made for many laugh-out-loud moments at my silly students (and other teachers' silly students).
work-life balance quite easily obtained at my workplace (for now). the ability to work hard and play hard is something i hope to achieve when i start work for real.
the march holidays.
the many rehearsals and practices for the upcoming easter musical. and witnessing the tremendous progress made in just a few weeks, all credit goes to the ones leading the choirs, costumes, stage, props, AV, music, and the Lord's blessings and grace.
caught coldplay live, for the 2nd time. amazing x2.
bought my tickets to london for june. i'll get to see zeh, watch musicals and hopefully plays, and travel in UK and europe again! :)
caught the winter's tale. my first shakespeare play live on stage. seeing ethan hawke (and the rest of the pristine cast) on stage. hearing him sing and strum the guitar. hokay. the entire play was kind of amazing in a shakespeare way. more to come in another post.
caught sight of EH and several other cast members heading out the B1 stage door when i was turning out of the esplanade carpark. and for a split second i contemplated stopping the car and winding down the window to say hi. of course i didn't, and totally regretted it. till now.

all these joys and blessings come to me and i'm ever so thankful and grateful. :) i wouldn't expect any more months to be so filled and enriched, with songs and music, with art and soul, with praise and worship. but hopefully, with the Lord's grace, it can be, and will be.

my funny friends.

2009-03-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

on the way home from church,

discussing the WGA writer's strike some time back.

ML: oh i think the simpsons did an episode about the strike.
LY: yahhh parody and all.
L (note: this is NOT ME): oh (J) where do you watch the simpsons?
ML: channel news asia.

silence. then laughter all around the car. :) haha.

LY: you meant starworld.
L: starworld shows channel news asia??

silence. then everyone was laughing twice as hard.

L was going to say: starworld shows the simpsons?

love(r)s in japan.

2009-03-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

(spotted on montage of lovers in japan, coldplay concert 2009)

Kinkaku-ji (the golden pavilion)
Kyoto, Japan

the coldplay gig was nothing short of awesomeness. this year has brought many good gigs (stars, jason mraz, rachel yamagata, ethan hawke) and talented musicians to our sunny shores and i can live through this year a happy girl. :) i think i'm very blessed and lucky to have caught all these gigs and to have been to 2 coldplay concerts. to think that i just bought the tickets without anyone to go with (so in the end if i really didn't find anyone, i can sell them and make a decent profit). but J my concert buddy is a dependable girl for a rocking night. :)

well i really enjoyed this one better than twisted logic back in 2006. ironic, since chris has visibly aged, but still has that boundless energy. running everywhere onstage.

even though i didn't know lyrics to most songs on viva la vida and the EP (having just bought them not too long ago), i really like this album at the first listen, 'cos it's more layered, textured, melodious, soulful, meaningful and emo. the lyrics speak of deeper meanings and emotions, and you can see how the band has matured through the years, both in terms of the musicality and also the writing and arranging of songs.

so in a way, not knowing the lyrics allowed me to just listen to the music that is playing. to hear the words being sung. and to really enjoy the concert without screaming and singing. :)

highlights:
12,000 strong crowd singing along to familiar favourites from all albums and EPs.
watching chris's hands work the piano as he delved into tortured-artist-emo state.
the giant screens flashed a super impressive live streaming of the stage, complete with effects and b&w, sepia and much more. it really looks like the end-product live concert DVD kind (after post-production editing and special effects added).
the impressive set design. the laser shows, the lights, the backdrops, montages.
the awesome jackets. :)
the coldwave aka mexican cellphone wave aka kallang wave with handphones in darkness. the twinkling lights were magical.
the acoustic 2-song set opposite us. damn those $188 seaters who can reach out and touch the guys.
the set done on our side of the stage. which includes my favorite part of all concerts - the stripped-to-bare-essentials the hardest part, feat. chris on piano and will on backing vocals. the harmony sent shivers up my spine and arms and piano-only postcards from far away.
the many piano-only interludes and intros and outros of life in technicolour - sounds so good live.
discovering that everyone in the band plays more than 2 instruments, and that will (the drummer) has an amazing voice.

and of course, the beautiful butterfly glow-in-the-dark confetti that rained down on the center block during lovers in japan, the montage featured sights of japan that i love so much (it was hard to focus my attention 'cos there's so much to look at!), chris going a bit nuts with the japanese umbrella. thanks j and d for saving us some butterflies. :)

Coldplay Live in Singapore!

Life In Technicolor
Violet Hill
Clocks
In My Place
Yellow
Glass Of Water
Cemeteries Of London
42
Fix You
Strawberry Swing
God Put A Smile Upon Your Face
Talk
The Hardest Part (Chris piano, Will)
Postcards From Far Away (piano instrumental)
Viva La Vida
Lost!
Speed Of Sound (acoustic)
Death Will Never Conquer (acoustic - Will vocals)
I'm A Believer (Neil Diamond Cover - acoustic)
Viva La Vida (remix interlude including Coldwave)
------
Politik
Lovers In Japan
Death And All His Friends
-------
The Scientist
Life in Technicolor ii
The Escapist (outro)

- photo: joshuachan28, coldplaying.com

hokay. despite my fatigue from coldplay concert, lesson observation went as well as it could. my prof gives very good constructive comments. gotta work on it. and hopefully he doesn't come the day after rachel yamagata. :)

the cure for monday blues.

2009-03-08T19:45:00.001-07:00

is your boss declaring no lessons after 10am, in the light of the stellar results of the class of 2008. :)

thinking about the high-energy jason mraz concert and the high-energy guitar hero world tour marathon at MH's on sat night. our very own rock concert!

singing my weekend away. at guitar hero, at easter musical rehearsals sat and sun. being able to sing for the Lord.

reflecting on the Lord's goodness and grace. and being challenged once again to hide His word in my heart always, in all wisdom. (colossians 3:16)

details in the fabric.

2009-03-06T06:46:00.000-08:00

there are really no deserving words to describe the AMAZING jason mraz concert. but i shall attempt anyway.

the energy of the stadium, mostly standing right from the start.
the dancing during the fast energetic pieces. :)
jason's energy, and those amazing hips :) and dancing. very sexy.
his super-talented super in-sync 7-piece band. no scores. no wrong notes.
his flawless chemistry with his backup singer.
jason's many guitar changes. akin to a bride at the wedding dinner.

his effortless, 4-octave range voice. the round tone that is always pitch-perfect.
the operetta interlude in between mr. curiosity, stretching his vocals and falsetto. not to mention the stripped-to-the-bare-essentials of jason's voice and the piano. perfect. i was struck in awe and mesmerized, and he almost brought me to tears.
his emotions, so evident in his face, in his voice.
his funny impromptu sing-along competition in between i'm yours, bob marley's three little birds (every little thing's gonna be alright!)

his light banter with all 8000 of us. improvising on-the-spot, the audience doing a great job echoing and singing.
those amazing songs of his, not just from the current we sing, we dance, we steal things. and those crowd favorites.

i just went by jason's journal entry written when he was in japan (ahhh i wanna go back there!), and he wrote,

"haven't you ever listen to music that made you cry? it's like the melodies reach in through flaring nostrils and caress your skin from underneath, making all your hairs rise at attention, they too trying to listen. and then all the tingly sensations, the unnamed emotions, culminate at the dam on your eyelids until they fall from your body like a stream flowing over the top of a mountain."
(jason mraz official site)

mr. jason mraz, you have just described what your music does to me. :)

jason mraz live in singapore!
5th march'09
set list

the dynamo of volition
geek in the pink
unfold
you and i both/sleeping to dream
who needs shelter
live high
lucky (feat. joi chua)
only human
a beautiful mess
make it mine
i'm yours/three little birds (bob marley)

-superband interlude-

-encore-
mr. curiosity (unplugged)
the remedy/wonderwall
no stopping us
i'll do anything
butterfly

my 2 favorites from we sing - details in the fabric and love for a child - was not sung. :( but i'm so not disappointed with this concert (save for joi chua, who totally spoiled lucky with her shaky weak vocals, and the flat notes). and though jason has aged visibly (he was so young during mr. a-z times!), he's now well-built and no longer skinny and scrawny. :)

this is the best concert i've gone to so far. it tops damien rice (and damien is a hard act to top), the last coldplay concert for X&Y and rufus wainwright. i hope he comes soon. :) i have a sneaky feeling he likes singapore, having been here many times.

thoughts and epiphanies.

2009-03-04T08:06:00.000-08:00

my 2nd week at T is coming to an end. so far, all is good. i'm thankful to be posted to T as my first place of work because it's in my comfort zone, and the staff culture is nurturing, caring and holistic. though there is a lot of work, and people do succumb to the occasional (or sometimes often) complaining, i'm a firm believer in stop-whining-and-suck-it-up!

after a series of websites-surfing i came across a page which totally just explains the state of our education system. all these whining people who complain and complain about the mountains of work that teachers have to do, and whine about our horrible state of the education system and all its ugly truths - hello! stop and take a look at yourself. YOU are part of the system, and YOU whine, so YOU are contributing to the horrible state of the system.

so until YOU leave the system, it will continue to be horrible. (oh come on, if you are having such a horrible time, any recession should not stop you from resigning. that said, if you're worried about not finding another job, then suck it up!)

it just irks me out.

*

anyway before i came across that horrible page, i had a sudden epiphany. i was reading david plouffe's (obama campaign manager) commentary on washingtonpost.com about the state of the republican party. even though i know that his commentary may be verging on a tiny bit of bias-ness (though his points were supported by stats), i realize why i get to thinking about american issues much more than singapore issues. it's due to the lack of social and political commentary (that is readily available and out there) on singapore issues. whether it is through blogs, news websites, on tv news, or even in tv shows and movies. singapore media, (biased towards you-know-who) tend to report on the good things. and i say report, not comment. and even the slightest forms of comments are the superficial good ones.

the social and political commentaries readily available on the net has been my source for unfiltered news. and no surprise, singapore-related commentaries do not appear quite as often. reading opinions and commentaries are the things that set my thinking about those issues critically. to be able to form my own opinions based on the differing views and opinions that i read.

so i'm kind of lamenting on the fact that i don't have access to the same kind of sources to get me thinking about the issues that affect singapore and singaporeans in that same way. and you may say that "why don't YOU comment on those issues." and i would say that i'm not smart enough to do that. :) easy way out. but also true.

**

you know you have had a special day when you attended a wedding service in the morning, rehearsed a musical of the easter story in the afternoon and attended a vigil funeral service at night. somehow many thoughts about life, change, salvation, and death comes to mind. and it is a big theme to dwell on. more on that when easter draws near.

***

work will be piling on soon. but i still need to have a life. singapore will be playing hosts to some wonderful people that i'll be seeing - jason mraz, coldplay, sam mendes, ethan hawke and the cast of the winter's tale, rachel yamagata. and many more for mosaic and arts fest that i won't be seeing due to the rapidly depleting bank account balance.

and my happening life has brought me to see 3 movies within the space of a week. marley & me, he's just not that into you and slumdog millionaire. more movies to watch. :)

****

psalm 23 is keeping me. :)

V is for

2009-02-13T21:18:00.000-08:00

emerging victorious in a national presidential campaign. and for cute asian girls like my friends and i.

Photo via Flickr user eclectico63 / Paris Match Magazine

i almost laughed out loud when i saw this. this is a great candid shot of the first couple before the inauguration balls in a buggy. and it's almost a great picture with its colors of white and black on michelle, obama and the white drapes of the buggy. again i love michelle's jason wu gown and obama's white tie.

incidentally, jason wu just staged a super successful show at NY Fashion Week. i love his F/W09 collection. :)

hokay back to work.

great is Thy faithfulness.

2009-02-10T09:05:00.001-08:00

this week is a terror week. i'm being slammed with assignments, presentations, projects and essays left right center. but while the process of doing work is tiring and sluggish (oh so sian), my mind is constantly challenged by said assignments, presentations, projects and essays.

one to re-examine again my own stance and personal beliefs with regards to people with special needs and autism especially. i do miss my days of volunteering at autism children's center.

another one to think about the social implications of the current education landscape and the people involved.

but more importantly, this week was more than just thoughts on school work. i find myself thinking more, and i do welcome it. i hate to find my mind idling away like a car stuck in a traffic jam.

probably the one that carries the most weight is the news of my beloved cousin, all of 18 years old, lying in the neuro ICU, her brain swollen, on a respirator, "stable but critical", unable to predict if she will ever wake up and recover. to get her A-level results. to go to university. to get married and have children.

and it thoroughly pains me, that something i always watch on tv and taken for granted, can hit so close to home. as much as i try not to admit, it is just different with family. with SQ's and HY's homegoing, the sadness i felt was more distant comparatively, but i can replace the sadness and anguish with joy that they have been called home to be with the Lord, which is a most wonderful thing.

i think about how life is so fleeting. i watched the curious case of benjamin button, and this one truth stood out to me, among others (love has to happen at the right time for both individuals = timing is everything).

"the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" was mentioned. as the clock moves backwards and lives were lost in the war, benjamin button was born to age backwards. when the pastor so-called "healed" and made old frail-looking benjamin walk (you would know that he would walk 'cos he's again backwards, so this healing is NOT TRUE), the pastor dropped and died. (note: this is a plot device for the theme).

as the movie closes, death is everywhere. from the female character, to the victims of hurricane katrina. to the clock which moves backwards taken down from the new orleans train station, abandoned in a warehouse, and drowned by the incoming flood waters.

i've been reading psalm 39. i was reminded again how fragile life is. David's psalms are always filled with much description of his anguish and pain.

"...Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor."
- Psalm 39:5b

"...You make his beauty melt away like a moth;
Surely every man is vapor."
- Psalm 39:11b

vapor, lighter than air. that's us. insignificant, small, nothing.

"“LORD, make me to know my end,
And what is the measure of my days,
That I may know how frail I am."
- Psalm 39:4

But we can rejoice. for we can hope in the Lord.

“And now, Lord, what do I wait for?
My hope is in You."
- Psalm 39:7

sunday's class with pastor mitch was a timely reminder again to seek the Lord first above all else. before doing anything. after every terrible news. that i should be conscious of the Lord through each day. and that makes coping with difficult times better and more manageable. that we can overcome anything, because though we are weak, we are made perfect in His strength, grace and mercy. that even when we sin, falter and slip away, He is always faithful. He is always there, comforting me with His Word.

and that's why this song (in title of post) is held dear to my heart this week.

great is Thy faithfulness
great is Thy faithfulness
morning by morning
new mercies i see

all i have needed
Thy hand hath provided
great is Thy faithfulness
Lord, unto me

pardon for sin and
a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence
to cheer and to guide

strength for today and
bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine,
with ten thousand beside

- great is Thy faithfulness

soundbites from inauguration speech.

2009-01-20T09:34:00.000-08:00

"we will extend our hand if you're willing to unclench your fists." :)

"...all are equal, all are free..."

it's 1.40am (12.40pm ET) and the US national anthem was just sung.

great speech, though deep at times. but i like that it covered most issues, most problems, and most of all, hope in times of trouble. i like that it was partly a warning for america and all of us, that the days ahead aren't the best of days. that we all, as citizens of the world, have our own responsibilities and the need to step up (and stop whining and complaining) and take our place in this world. that complacency is not an option, and stillness, happiness and peace must always be fought for.

more soundbites when i get them. but meanwhile, i absolutely love the fashion today at the inauguration. no boring black coats for the women, but a splash of color everywhere! from michelle's gold-yellow isabel toledo ensemble, to the obama girl's blue and pink coats for malia and sasha respectively, laura bush's soft grey coat, jill biden's flaming red coat and black knee length boots, hillary clinton's electric blue coat, and more people like nancy pelosi and michelle's mother. my favorite: jill biden. she looks smashing.

ETA!: oh they just showed obama and joe biden and their entourage walk into the capitol, pass the rotunda where the painting "the apotheosis of washington" is painted on the dome roof. and i was there! standing in the middle.

ETA!!: as soon as 12noon came, the whitehouse website underwent a complete transformation.

hokay. i have 830am class tmr so i'm so gonna pass out in class. :)

yayy we are now part of an amazing piece of history.

inauguration.

2009-01-20T01:36:00.000-08:00

the inauguration in lego-land. :)

inaugurations have been significant times in US history. both on tv and real life.

JFK famously said, "ask not what the country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" in his inauguration speech.

in season 4 of the west wing, president bartlet used his inauguration speech to announce a new doctrine - freedom from tyranny everywhere. because "today you can make a bomb in your country and bring it into my country, so what goes on in your country IS my business."

in season 7 of the west wing, less than 3 years ago, the obama-inspired character matt santos was sworn in as the first latino president of the US in the west wing universe. he's young, of a minority race, has 2 young children, a lovely wife, and is a man of utmost integrity, intellect, poise and soaring oratory. sounds familiar? even his chief of staff josh lyman was inspired by obama's chief of staff rahm emmanuel. the same send-a-dead-fish-to-a-senator story made it into the west wing universe.

there has been so much anticipation and expectation for obama's first 100 days in office. personally i'm waiting for him to step onto the shores of singapore for APEC. and watching for his decisions on combating climate change, the economy, the middle east crisis and the touchy relations with china. and seeing how the new secretary of state hillary clinton manages her demanding job.

watch one of the most significant and amazing milestones being written during our time - a young black man as president of the US.

happy inauguration. :)

a father's love.

2009-01-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

i was very moved when i read this open letter from president-elect obama to his daughters.

Dear Malia and Sasha,

I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.

When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.

I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.

I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.

Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.

That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.

She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.

I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.

I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.

Love, Dad

source

the beauty of music.

2009-01-14T09:06:00.000-08:00

Stars frontman Torquil Campbell blowing a stream of rose petals
photo credit: samuel he

the concert was good! i have a lot to say about the not-so-suitable venue of esplanade concert hall, the very poor lighting design and execution and a little off-pitch singing for the 1st song. but all is well and redeemed by the band's amazing talent, synergy and charisma.

if anyone's interested,

STARS live in singapore!
setlist

1. The night starts here
2. take me to the riot
3. soft revy
4. window bird
5. snowman
6. reunion
7. bitches in tokyo
8. going going gone
9. look up
10. ageless beauty
11. midnight coward
12. a thread cut with a carving knife
13. undertow
14. trying to say
15. elevator love song
16. your ex-lover is dead

encores
17. happy birthday to guitar player
18. set yourself
19. my favourite book
20. calendar girl
21. one more night

so all in all, great gig. music always gets to me.

just a few days ago i was reminded by an article i came across on huffpost last year. one on joshua bell, celebrated violinist prodigy and virtuoso, who wore a baseball cap and played his almost-4-million-dollar violin in a busy washington DC metro station. over 1000 people walked past this guy who sells out concerts at US$100 per seat, and only 7 people stopped to listen, and only 1 recognized him.

this article by washingtonpost columnist later went on to win a pulitzer prize, and the article can be found here.

i have a habit of stopping to listen to buskers if they are so good that they catch my attention. i give money if they are truly talented, even in singapore. when i travel, i like to video good buskers and grab their myspace URLs and whatnots. even when i don't understand what they're singing (case in point, this great guitar-strumming energetic duo my sis and i spotted in kyoto. well they are cute japanese boys, so that's a plus).

but i admit that i'm biased, my sister too. i guess the reason why our ears are more attuned to music is 'cos of our training in classical music. now, we are so thankful to have finished our music education (no more scales and sightreading!), and thankful that we have received that education 'cos it has made my life a more beautiful one.

the washingtonpost columnist brings up several issues from this little experiment (and that's why its so brilliant that it won a pulitzer prize). such as is beauty beautiful if no one notices and appreciates. and is beauty only beautiful in one context and not another? people dismissed joshua bell and looked over his amazing performance because he was busking in a subway station and they were all rushing for time. an example he mentioned was to take a $5million painting out of a museum and into a restaurant, and no one would notice its true value.

well as you can see, my thoughts are swirling about as i listen to bell's performances of my favorite classical pieces. and it's late so i shall save this for another time.

words.

2009-01-10T23:11:00.000-08:00

just came across these words said by the president-elect. and it's really heartening and amazing to hear words like these from a man.

Describing Michelle as "alluring" and with "a strong personality," the future President says, "if you look deep into her eyes, there’s a certain vulnerability. In any case, I see it even if most don’t realize it: she goes through life tall, beautiful, confident, very able…There’s a part of her that is fragile, young, sometimes scared, and I think these are contradictions that attracted me to her. And she makes me very happy. She is very familiar to me and so I can be myself around her, she knows me well, I completely trust her, but at the same time in certain respects she remains a mystery to me."

"Sometimes, when we’re lying together," he says, "I look at her and I feel dizzy with the realization that here is another distinct person from me, who has memories, origins, thoughts, feelings that are different from my own. That tension between familiarity and mystery meshes something strong between us. Even if one builds a life together based on trust, attentiveness and mutual support, I think that’s it’s important that a partner continues to surprise."

i wonder if singapore men are capable of such emotions. i fervently hope so. :)

snap out of it!

2009-01-06T01:44:00.000-08:00

the original starbucks outlet at pike place
seattle, WA
jan'07

today i headed to tampines mall in the sweltering heat, picking up tickets for STARS concert tmr, purple heels from mango sale, and a starbucks toffee nut latte to combat the sleepiness in preparation for my afternoon of doing assignments.

at starbucks, i stopped to smell the aroma of the coffee beans, and chanced upon a little label on the back of the vanilla syrup bottle, with the all too familiar seattle address. ah. these are the little things that brings back memories.

so as i walked out with my cup of latte, i'm reminded of those days, sipping a starbucks in the dead of winter, the sun shining brightly. only now, the sun shines and it's unbearingly hot.

i'm having trouble snapping out of the holiday mood. the sleeping in (which sadly is no longer possible), the worry-free afternoons of lazing with a cup of tea and a good book, the dvd marathons, the sundays at church for concert rehearsals.

it's the start of a new year, and i haven't snapped into 2009 yet. think i'll need a few more days.

thoughts.

2008-12-31T06:41:00.000-08:00

the last month of 2008 passed with a kind of 'calmed frenzy'. on one hand there was a lot of things going on, and on the other hand, i've found time to sit down, watch dvds (gossip girl OC lost), read lots of books (obama's audacity of hope, twilight x 4 books, tales of beedle the bard, chick lits), and journal about my year that has just passed and really think about how the Lord has been with me and that He has been faithful when i so do not deserve His faithfulness.

well, a good part of dec was spent in japan, one of my favourite countries in the world. it was my 2nd time in tokyo and hakone, and 1st time in kyoto. travelling free&easy with parents in a busy cosmopolitan city is no easy feat. and i'm glad i survived it with much prayer and trust in the Lord. :) sounds bad, but it really was. but the trip had many good things about it too. i really love japan and i basked in the things i love about it. and i got to shop one day in tokyo on my own, which i'm really really thankful for. and i got time to catch up with my sis after not seeing her for 5 months.

rambling.

when i returned, suddenly, christmas concerts in Bethany was just literally around the corner! it was so packed that i hardly had time to breathe and decompress from the trip. and soon it was last minute revising of actions and lyrics, followed by rehearsals and all. when the concerts were finally over i felt a little sad, knowing that it will be my last time singing with the youth choir, whom i have grown to love a lot. well must always look forward to good things. so it's young adults' group and one voice in 2009. and many more years to come.

last minute christmas shopping and wrapping of gifts and writing of cards is always a tradition every year for me. well, 'cos i'm such a procrastinator. but christmas eve dinner with the family was a nice affair, as usual. this year we walloped 5 bottles of alcohol, probably a record.

christmas service and lunch at the shang this year was good! i really appreciated pastor's message that morning, in a world full of gloom and recession and global warming, it's always amazing to be reminded of the hope that we have in the Lord. :) and this christmas i'm extra happy because of my 2 friends D and D, who not only went for service and lunch, and also our annual gathering at joel's after lunch. and knowing that they enjoyed themselves and in fellowship with our friends from Bethany, and have been encouraged by the sharing session that we had and the songs we sang, is truly pure joy that the Lord brings to my heart. and that God answers prayers.

well before i know it, it's now the last hour of 2008. it's hard to summarize all i have here, because so much has happened over the year and i can safely declare that my year has been a really good one. i've been thoroughly blessed, well taken care of, provided for and so much more. i made it through my FYP, graduated, went into NIE, made new friends, grown in my faith, travelled so much and most of all, obama won the election! haha.

however, i know the world is in turmoil. and many events have happened that just shocks you to the core. natural disasters, always a common fixture. effects of global warming felt everywhere. political unrest in thailand, america, indonesia, japan, malaysia, zimbabwe, israel-gaza, taiwan. terror attacks in mumbai and the lost of a singaporean life. greedy CEOs begging for the people's money to save their companies while travelling in private jets. greedy man who cheated charities of billions of dollars. the collapse of once-powerful investment firms. retirees losing their pension funds within seconds.

well it's unthinkable, but a truly amazing thing that we can have hope despite all these. that we can trust that all is well, that we can rejoice with the truth, that God is with us. and that

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God,
to those who are the called according to His purpose."
- Romans 8:28

have a blessed year ahead. :)

twilight. :)

2008-12-30T07:17:00.000-08:00

cast of twilight.
(l-r): rob (edward), elizabeth (esme), kellan (emmett), peter (carlisle),
nikki (rosalie), kristin (bella), ashley (alice), jackson (jasper),
cam (james), edi (laurent), taylor (jacob), rachelle (victoria)
courtesy: vanityfair.com

now now. this is one of the best looking cast of a movie, ever. and young too! most of them are my age or younger. (darn i AM getting older.)

twilight has given me a lot to think about. and i know some people who come to this blog have not finished all 4 books, so i, being a good friend, shall not post spoilers. i shall collect my thoughts and post them in due time. so all you people who are still reading twilight-breaking dawn, read faster!

well, for the skeptics, the entire twilight saga actually offers much more than the teenage romance-vampire lusts-edward cullen fanatics. it raises questions on morality, mortality/immortality, free will, love, feminism, good vs evil etc. many profound questions can be asked, or at least, i asked. i like such stimulating books.

but of course, a handsome cast is always good. rob pattinson has definitely reached heart-throb status and i can understand. J and i often go light-headed seeing him in those gorgeous wayfarers and that dazzling half-smile. :) and it's good to mention that he reminds us of james dean, who's equally gorgeous.

this prompted vanity fair's contributing editor james wolcott to write:

"When Pattinson’s Edward emerges in the school parking lot, wearing sunglasses and slinging his arm around Bella, he’s the troubled 50s adolescent of fast cars and rebel cool reincarnated—the James Dean of the undead, with a jot of the Dylanesque."

ahhh, how true.

the liberal arts.

2008-12-02T07:26:00.000-08:00

an article written by michael roth on huffington post struck me and made me think about the current state of singapore education's system, and our way-too-often-comparisons with the american education system.

i don't know if people (other than americans) know about the liberal arts colleges that america offers as an alternative to the conventional universities. my own understanding of these colleges and their curricula is limited, fueled only by the occasional mention of it on american television and movies. well this article attempts to summarize the benefits of a liberal arts education in the changing face of what the world demands of its educated citizens, prompted by the fact that many of the top brains that obama has chosen for his cabinet are schooled in the ways of liberal arts colleges.

well some months ago, the press reported that NUS was in talks to set up a new liberal arts college. well that's good news. any diversification of the education system is always good news. to step away from the one-track mind that the path to success in life is through the Os, As, and universities. i like especially the school of the arts, NUS high school, the sports school.

but more importantly, i wonder if the curricula of a liberal arts college, or at least its themes and visions can be applied at the secondary and JC levels of education. i wonder if we can attract our students to look beyond the facts, numbers, equations and grades. and focus on the why and how. the philosophies. psychology. sociology. the human aspects of what we study. the driving force behind inventions and scientific discoveries and great literary works and art (montmarte artists high and drunk on absthine does NOT count). to be able to teach the way DNA was discovered, and the tremendous impact it has on us even before delving into the names of the nitrogenous bases, the properties of DNA and the enzymes involved in DNA replication.

What's a Liberal Arts Education Good For?

Over the next few months, in homes across America, seventeen and eighteen-year-olds will be conferring with one another and with their parents about a life changing decision: What college to go to! After months of research, visits, and advice from "experts," these young men and women must now decide: Where will I be happy? Where will I make friends? Where will I get an education I can afford now, and an education that will remain valuable for years after graduation?

In this same time period, our government officials will be deciding where an investment in America's economic infrastructure will do the most good. Commentators from different political perspectives have often noted that one of the great advantages of America is its peerless higher education system. Although other sectors have diminished international roles, higher education in this country continues to inspire admiration around the globe. When politicians talk about this, they often emphasize the research output of large universities, but the focus should also be on American undergraduate liberal arts education. Liberal arts in the USA provide not only a pipeline of talented and prepared students to the great graduate schools, but also a model for life-long learning that other countries are beginning to emulate.

But in these challenging times, what's an education in the liberal arts good for?

Rather than pursuing business, technical or vocational training, some students (and their families) opt for a well-rounded learning experience. Liberal learning introduces them to books and the music, the science and the philosophy that form disciplined yet creative habits of mind that are not reducible to the material circumstances of one's life (though they may depend on those circumstances). There is a promise of freedom in the liberal arts education offered by America's most distinctive, selective, and demanding institutions; and it is no surprise that their graduates can be found disproportionately in leadership positions in politics, culture and the economy. A quick look at several members of President-elect Obama's leadership team can stand as an example of how those with a liberal arts education are shaping the future of our society.

What does liberal learning have to do with the harsh realities that our graduates are going to face after college? The development of the capacities for critical inquiry associated with liberal learning can be enormously practical because they become resources on which to draw for continual learning, for making decisions in one's life, and for making a difference in the world. Given the pace of technological and social change, it no longer makes sense to devote four years of higher education entirely to specific skills. Being ready on DAY ONE, may have sounded nice on the campaign trail, but being able to draw on one's education over a lifetime is much more practical (and precious). Post secondary education should help students to discover what they love to do, to get better at it, and to develop the ability to continue learning so that they become agents of change -- not victims of it.

A successful liberal arts education develops the capacity for innovation and for judgment. Those who can image how best to reconfigure existing resources and project future results will be the shapers of our economy and culture. We seldom get to have all the information we would like, but still we must act. The habits of mind developed in a liberal arts context often result in combinations of focus and flexibility that make for intelligent, and sometimes courageous risk taking for critical assessment of those risks.

The possibilities for free study, experimentation and risk taking need protection and cultivation. Looking around the world, we find no shortage of thugs who desecrate or murder those who seek to produce a more meaningful culture. And here at home we can easily see how mindless indifference to the contemporary arts and sciences facilitates the destruction of cultural memory and creative potential.

America's great universities and colleges must continue to offer a rigorous and innovative liberal arts education. A liberal education remains a resource years after graduation because it helps us to address problems and potential in our lives with passion, commitment and a sense of possibility. A liberal education teaches freedom by example, through the experience of free research, thinking and expression; and ideally, it inspires us to carry this example, this experience of meaningful freedom, from campus to community.

The American model of liberal arts education emphasizes freedom and experimentation as tools for students to develop meaningful ways of working after graduation. Many liberal arts students become innovators and productive risk takers, translating liberal arts ideals into effective, productive work in the world. That is what a liberal education is good for.

We were surprised last week to hear reports from several liberal arts colleges and universities that they had seen significant increases in 'early decision' applications. At Wesleyan, we were up almost 40%, an increase none of us on the staff would have predicted. Early decision applicants have already decided that if they are accepted at the one school to which they apply in the fall, they will attend that school the following year. Many of the highly selective schools like Wesleyan have robust financial aid programs, accepting students regardless of their ability to pay. In my next post, I'll write more about issues of affordability even with financial aid.

In these turbulent economic times, it appears that students want to know as quickly as possible if they are going to be able to attend their first choice school. Many of our talented high school seniors are doubtless deciding that the significant investment of time and money in a liberal arts education will give them the capacity for a sustainable and creative future. Perhaps they have something to teach us!

hello, gorgeous.

2008-11-28T01:30:00.000-08:00

my newest friend.
the macbook 2.4 GHz intel core 2 duo, 4GB memory,
250GB hard drive and the glass multi-touch trackpad.

thursday was an interesting day. actually so was wednesday.

wed was a day of going back to NIE and getting a project done. then i met with C and D for some drinks at xin wang at siglap and laughed the entire afternoon away.

(which job allows me to be paid and have holidays for 1 month plus?)

thursday was a day of crowds, which left me with a splitting headache after it all. first was the insane charles&keith warehouse sale crowd which was already packed by 11am. all these singaporeans like no need to work like that. :| me and XH managed to get some really good bargains and headed for lunch with M near her new workplace. :) then i met up with the biochem boys to scour the IT fair at expo.

hence, hello my new best friend. :) it looks totally sleek and beautiful. and i'm so glad that V and i managed to convert 2 of the boys to mac. now they are the proud owners of the beautiful iMac desktops. and J went all crazy for the credit card roadshows, signing at least 4 new cards at different banks. and he carted home so many freebies that would surely make his mama proud. and my mama too. so head to the fair if you want freebies! contact J if you can't find the booths. :)

so a week of shopping means this week will be dedicated to many new books to read (some chick lits, obama's 1st book, bourdain's latest book etc.), new dvds to watch (alias s5, lost s3, some movies), a new laptop to explore, new CDs to listen to, a wardrobe to clean out and catching up on readings and prep for YC and christmas and songs to memorise for the concerts.

sounds like a plan.

retail therapying.

2008-11-23T07:41:00.000-08:00

ok so the batam trip didn't materialise. which was met with a half-hearted sadness, having spent many many dollars helping the singapore economy grow this weekend. (1 bag, 1 dress, 2 tops, 1 book, 1 magazine, 1 pair of shoes, 4 CDs - david cook, john coltrane, sting, johnny cash, 2 DVD TV boxsets, 2 movie DVDs). in my defense, 90% of my loot is discounted heavily. :)
anyways thanks to J our batam trip has been miraculously transformed to a paintball trip, a BBQ+wii+games+rock band overnighter. yay.

(just realised my 4 new CDs are really a strange mix. eclectic. sounds nicer.)

my service learning project is over! in the midst of the planning frenzy and all the last-minute drama, all my frustrations were replaced with joy and love for the sweet children i met over the course of the 2 days. and i admit i play favourites with children that are lovely and cute and sweet and some who say the darnest things.

(in response to a boy who was throwing tantrums at the reception area) this girl looked up nonchalantly from her drawing and colouring and remarked,
"i feel like throwing naughty children down the rubbish bin... and flush them down the toilet."

someone please slap me if i spend anymore money before my japan trip (with the exception of c&k warehouse sale).

and speaking of trips, berlin photos are here. :)

the brandenberg gate in its sun-shined glory. :)

yummy breakfast at a breakfast joint opposite the train station.

the amazing marble artwork on the pillars of the entrance to the Reichstag. the reichstag first housed the parliament of the german empire, before hitler wrecked havoc, overthrew the government, declared dictatorship and you know the rest. reichstag was burnt down to the ground during the nazi years and they rebuilt it.

the roof of the reichstag.

the inside of the dome. amazing architecture.

the glass roof of the dome on the reichstag building. so beautiful.

this is currywurst, everyone. german sausages with curry powder and tomato sauce. really really good. road-side and delish. :)

the WWII memorial. in the middle of the city.

an old church in the shopping district of berlin. it's partially destroyed by the war, bombed by the allied forces. they left the destroyed bits as they were, perhaps as a reminder of the horrors.

shian, my dear friend on attachment in berlin, showed us around and brought us around for good food and provided free accomm. :) and my banana beer, oh-so-good part 1.

this is oh-so-good part 2. pork knuckle! my travel mates and i were already dreaming of this, german beer and german sausages before we even came to germany. :) :)

the end of madness!

2008-11-20T07:02:00.000-08:00

the ground of the WWII memorial
berlin, germany

my semester is over! well short of one final comm skills lesson tmr, and 3 assignments to complete over the holidays, but still! i'm in the midst of the OC season 2 dvd marathon. boy, do i miss it. and i just finished studio 60 on the sunset strip on dvds. and the subtitles help with the rapid-fire dialogue, so i'm quite glad to bask in aaron sorkin's genius writing since the west wing ended.

well this holidays i'm looking forward to the sister being back from all her travels and finnish work and tell me all her stories. plus christmas! i love the songs for this year's concert, as always. and learning choreo for big dance numbers are always tiring but i shall press on and find my youthful energy again! there's also a batam trip, a japan trip, and a pending bangkok and hongkong trip. yay. with trips-planning comes thinking about past trips.

germany photos are akan datang!

renaissance.

2008-11-13T01:46:00.000-08:00

i'm becoming a huffingtonpost addict. my routine has become: open firefox, check gmail, check facebook, check huffingtonpost, check google news, check what day it is (for new TV episodes).

i remember starting to read huffpost back in 2006, when then-creator and exec-producer of brothers & sisters jon robin baitz used to blog there. then i discovered many actors and directors who also write there and how good they are! then i discovered huffpost's other sections which are such interesting reads. from fashion and style to entertainment to watchamacallit. then i discovered (after my west wing marathons) huffpost's left-leaning, bush-bashing tendencies.

then i discovered their amazing coverage (though lefty) of the elections. well that just about tops it all and made me go back and check everyday. also 'cos everyday sarah palin does something or says something so ridiculous that i have to go there for the videos.

anyways, now is all about senate races, prop 8, the congo civil unrest, the economy, the president-elect filling his administration, the GOP in tatters, palin talking about a 2012 run (you must be joking RIGHT?)

***

i'm supposed to be doing my final assignment for the semester. my cramps are getting the better of me, giving me an excuse to do rubbish things like surf huffpost and play traveler's IQ on facebook. and write rubbish here.

***

in the wake of the elections, i've been reading articles on michelle obama. i'm mesmerised by her not because she's pretty, but by her grace and poise. her intelligence (princeton and harvard), her love for her kids, for her husband. and most of all, her sense of style. :)

she has worn many pretty dresses that flatter her pear shape and are affordable. none of the $150,000 spree at saks 5th ave. i love that she mixes and matches separates, and even when the cameras are on her 24/7, she mixes them up and has no qualms wearing the same jacket with different bottoms and a different brooch. i love her Gap and H&M dresses (the first lady shops at H&M? like ME!), and the midrange Narciso Rodriguez and Maria Pinto.

her turquoise DNC dress by maria pinto, the view black&white dress by some label, her election night red and black shift dress by narciso rodriguez, her meeting-at-white-house red dress by maria pinto are just some of the amazing dresses she wears. avoiding the stuffy pantsuits of hillary clinton, the power suits of palin and laura bush or the dismal cheong sams of our PM Lee's wife, or the strange things that our first lady wears.

oh yes! and i love how she matches her daughter's clothes to hers and barack obama's tie colour. at the DNC, it was a mix of turquoise and purplish tones. on election night, it was black and red! it's so cute. and their daughters are cute.

anyway the net was abuzz with a debate over her red shift dress on election night. a red and black sleeveless narciso rodriguez shift dress with a black satin band criss-crossed at the waist, red spots splashed all over, black cardigan (it's fall!), kitten heels, and the prettiest loree rodkin earrings.

photo: Ron Sachs/Rex Features

some hate it. some love it. i love it.

for one it's super flattering. it shows her curves, her height, her toned legs and hides the midriff by illusion of black. the red and black are perfect colours for her skin tone, and the pattern is interesting! instead of settling for a boring number, she chose this amazing dress and played it up somemore with diamondy loree rodkin earrings. and she's comfortable. which shows a lot about what kind of person, mother, wife and first lady she is.

i love her! :) and to get to know her better i watched some of her videos online and her major DNC speech, which was amazing. it's true when barack obama says she is a better speaker than he is. she's a gifted public speaker and she speaks with emotion and heart. with the same passion and love that her husband has.

and another reason why i love huffpost. they have these slideshows of people/events and one series under obama slideshows is the obama PDA moments. and it's incredibly sweet and "aawwww". you can tell a lot from body language and it shows. their love for each other and their children is genuine and i suspect it is this love that keeps the president-elect grounded.

what great role models the world has now. :)

instyle's converage on michelle obama's style

huffpost's why all women should love michelle obama

huffpost's obama slideshows collection

oh before you think how the title of this post relates to, well, this post - renaissance is michelle obama's secret service codename. apt, ain't it?

it's only for now.

2008-11-09T07:27:00.000-08:00

avenue Q didn't disappoint. :)

the singing was on par with the original broadway cast recording and i think they did very well! the set was not as magnificent was the musicals i watched in US or london. maybe that's the problem with travelling companies.

SRT should really bring in wicked next. i'm sure everyone'll love it too. another heads up: CATS is coming next year. get your early bird tix now at 10% off!

well the past week passed really fast. and as i reflected on the year i realized 2008 was a really happening year! personally and in the world too. i wonder if i can say the same for my spiritual state.

anyways the media is still all over obama-darling and his new administration. i can't help but notice how chui he has become since his campaign, juxtaposed against how much his daughter has grown! well hope he doesn't age that much when he takes over the presidency, which is virtually impossible. look at the white hairs that have grown since PM Lee took office. and obama is gonna have so much more problems compared to the good life PM Lee has. plus the $3M-a-year paycheck.

i wonder if obama would do a speech when he comes to singapore next year for APEC meeting. hope he does. and hope there are tickets. if anyone on obama's administration happens to google this blog, come and give a speech on education!! :)

the line from the song "for now", last song on the avenue Q soundtrack, never sounded sweeter. :)

Only for now!
(For now there's life!)
Only for now!
(For now there's love!)
Only for now!
(For now there's work!)
For now there's happiness!
But only for now!
(For now discomfort!)
Only for now!
(For now there's friendship!)
Only for now (For now!)
Only for now!

Only for now! (Sex!)
Is only for now! (Your hair!)
Is only for now! (George Bush!)
Is only for now!

Don't stress,
Relax,
Let life roll off your backs
Except for death and paying taxes,
Everything in life is only for now!

- For Now, Avenue Q OST

change we can believe in.

2008-11-04T20:09:00.000-08:00

12.05pm singapore time. November 5th 2008.

history was made. :) and america FINALLY gets it right.

i watched CNN and images of people in jubilation and in tears. and i'm looking forwawrd to the day where i can feel the same way about a candidate/party in singapore politics. that a barack obama of singapore will rise up and continue singapore's road to success and stability.

john mccain is giving his speech now. and i do admire him for his service to his country, his relentless perseverance going against all odds of bush, his age, and sarah palin. and i'm liking his speech and his humility. palin looks like she's gonna cry on stage. but i'm so glad she's not the VP. and his supporters for booing and all. stupid mccain supporters. please follow your leader's example of being a good sport! good speech, though. happy retirement senator mccain!

electoral college update: obama 333 - mccain 155. way above the 270 needed for vistory.

obama'08!

red, white and blue!

2008-11-04T01:48:00.000-08:00

the American flag at the New York Stock Exchange
june 2007, New York City

it's election day in the US! and i celebrated by going to class. :) well also i've been carrying my "obama gets my vote!" pseudo-american idol badge, a obama'08 car decal on my car.

and as i decided what to wear this morning, i decided on a blue smocked dress, white shrug and a red necklace. mostly blue, mostly democrat. ok that was beside the point.

in less than 24 hours, we'll know who's leading the US and the world for the next 4 years. i chose this photo of the flag in front of the NYSE building on wall st., 'cos it's kinda fitting that the major issue in the race is our failing economy. OUR meaning the whole world.

it's super sad to see obama tearing while speaking at a rally after his grandmother passed away. at the back of my head, that west wing-US presidential race 08 connection lights up again. on the day of the elections, matt santos (who eventually won the race) lost his VP running mate, leo mcgarry to a massive heart attack. leo has been sick since the start of season 6, but recovered to continue his work for the president, then evetually joining the democratic ticket. ok not as uncanny as the rest, but you get my drift.

nope. not tempting fate.

but meanwhile, i shall pay tribute to my favorite president of all time, jed bartlet.

Bartlet: I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.

Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.

President Josiah Bartlet: Yes it does. Leviticus.

Dr. Jenna Jacobs: 18:22.

President Josiah Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here.

I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be?

While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police?

Here's one that's really important because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point?

Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side?

Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you?

One last thing: while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.

- The West Wing, "The Midterms"

This quote has been giving me a headache since i first watched it. well maybe i'll ask pastor about it one day. besides the headache, he's probably the only president who has a nobel prize in economics before becoming president, can speak latin and has an IQ through the roof. well since he's fiction, barack obama probably is the best we can do. smart, intelligent and charismatic.

a little thing called tempting fate.

2008-11-03T00:33:00.000-08:00

[The office staff watches the Senate start to vote on Mendoza's confirmation to the Supreme Court and begin celebrating. Bonnie starts handing around a bottle of champagne]

Toby: Put it down! Put it down!"

Bonnie: Toby!

Toby: No champagne.

Bonnie: We're just getting--

Toby: Put it down. Everyone in this room, let me have your attention! Please. The law of our land mandates that Presidential appointees be confirmed by a majority of the Senate, a majority being a total of half plus one for a total of what, Ginger?

Ginger: Fifty-one.

Toby: Fifty-one 'yea' votes is what we see on these screens BEFORE a drop of wine is swallowed! Because there's a little thing called what, Bonnie?

Bonnie: 'Tempting fate'?

Toby: 'Tempting fate' is what it's called. In the three months that this man has been on my radar screen, I have aged forty-eight years. This is MY day of jubilee, I will not have it screwed up by what, Bonnie?

Bonnie: By tempting fate.

Toby: By tempting fate! These things take patience. These things take skill. These things take luck. In the fifteen months we've been in office, what kind of luck have we had? Ginger?

Ginger: Bad luck.

Toby: [clears his throat and raises his eyebrows] What kind of luck?

Ginger: Very bad luck.

Toby: We've had very bad luck.

- The West Wing Season 1 "Six Meetings Before Lunch"

***

Here's hoping democrats do not get complacent, make voting errors and tempt fate before the election is called. and VOTE! whether you have to brave the snow, winds, rain, or sun.

I've been meaning to write something about the uncanny resemblance of the west wing's seasons 6-7 plots to the US presidential race 08 now reaching its climax and inevitable end. but the new york times beat me to it. and so did the sunday times, which published the NYT article on 2nd nov. well i'm glad people have noticed!!

in a manner of not tempting fate deliberately, in the west wing, the hispanic, democrat nominee won by just a few thousand votes in nevada, at 4am the day after election day. in the above scene, hispanic judge mendoza (also admiral adama in battlestar galactica) got his senate majority and was put on the supreme court. well, maybe, just maybe, fact will follow fiction.

no i'm not tempting fate.

the demise of morals.

2008-10-29T06:39:00.000-07:00

"i don't understand why they (young people) don't just ask their parents for money."
- some NTU girl, straits times 27th oct.

i was super appalled when i read the article. it was a piece about how the young people are not bothered by the current economic downturn. this young 20-year-old undergrad carries a $4000 LV bag among other branded goods. and sighs her way through the interview. when asked about how she felt with regards to her friends who have to work part-time jobs to earn extra cash, she sighed and told the reporter that line.

wow. every few years the young people of singapore will stir up some elitist comment like this and make me wonder if we are all forgoing our morals and integrity for material things. the last one i remember was the daughter of the MP who snubbed a jobless singaporean and asked him to get out her "elitist, uncaring" face. or something like that.

i got to thinking about my own set of values. and how it came about. i have done my fair share of sins when i was young. but ever since coming to know the Lord, i have set my values and morals on the Word of God. well it's a learning curve and a work in progress. but i'm thankful for this set of values that i have and try to abide by, for i know you should never look down on those who are "lesser" that you are. even if you do not have to work to get a nice LV bag because daddy pays for it, you should never tell your friends to ask their parents for money. money their parents may not even have for themselves.

humility is a hard thing to practise. and it's an even harder thing to learn. as educators, we are responsible for our students and to impart in them the knowledge that they need to go out into the world. to run the race with them and help them through every breathlessness, fall, sprain, stitch, pain and victory. but when it comes to the affective domain, how do we teach humility? empathy? creativity? loving kindness? care? honesty? integrity? how do we ensure that our students don't grow up to be soul-less, mindless thieves who don't give a crap about how other people might feel?

i know some are inclined to push this huge and heavy responsibility to the parents. and i do agree that parents play a very important in shaping their children's character from young. but does this let us teachers off the hook? don't think so. out of 24 hours, a child spends a third of it in school, under the care of teachers. so better share this responsibility. i don't quite like teachers who like to push the blame around, blaming everyone but themselves.

well this is such an incoherent post. well all i wanted to say actually was about that girl. and how i'm so sad with the demise of the moral values of our young people.

***

alright, the US elections provides me with endless entertainment and some of it is super hilarious, and some, really sweet. (: i'm almost halfway through obama's 2nd book and he's a great writer (much better than i am, as evident from this post).

and more than that, he's a great speaker and debater. i watched the final debate, and the final question on education. and he summarized his education plan in 5 points, elaborated on each point, then summarized all the points before his time was up. mccain tumbled through his incoherent points. during rebuttal, obama took mccain's incoherent ramblings, extracted out his main ideas, and did a similarities and differences comparison between his own education plan and mccain's ramblings. within minutes. and i was like WOW. he's super smart and a good talker. sounds like president josiah bartlet of the west wing huh.

beyond what i am able.

2008-10-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

on a ferryboat
en route: bainbridge island to downtown seattle, USA
may 2007

another trying week gone. and the Lord has graciously kept me and answered my desperate prayers for strength, wisdom, perspective and stillness. though i still get nerves for presentation, i can rejoice in the Lord's goodness and His presence.

i wish i could learn how to sail. there's something exciting yet therapeutic about hauling those ropes and tying knots and seeing the sails get caught in the wind. something about getting your sails to that prime position for the wind to carry your boat. something like of all the things we want to control, ultimately it is letting go and letting God lead us to wherever He has planned for us to go.

another week starts. less hectic, but still stressful nonetheless. looking forward to December while i prepare my heart for christmas and reflect on the year. and how comforting it is to know that.

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man;
but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able,
but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

beauty in the chaos.

2008-10-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

the sun casts its beautiful colors before it retires for the night.
simei, singapore

sometimes i get pleasant surprises flipping through old, uncategorized photos. like this one. and it reminds me again of the goodness of the Lord, and the promises He gives, from day to day.

"Blessed be the name of the LORD
From this time forth and forevermore!
From the rising of the sun to its going down
The LORD’s name is to be praised.

The LORD is high above all nations,
His glory above the heavens."
- Psalm 113:2-4

learning to breathe.

2008-10-10T09:32:00.000-07:00

it's really nice to laugh again.

a long lunch with mr. v, mr. d, mr. j and ms. c led to 2 hours of laughing and getting-to-know-one-another and just chatting about life.

watching my favorite shows online again.
b&s offered great lines for rob lowe's character, sally field and calista flockhart.
heroes set up a series of big arcs for the next 9 episodes in the first volume of the season - yay more flash forwards and new powers.
grey's anatomy continued its soapy opera, which is my guilty pleasure.
house continues to make me laugh and intrigued by the cases (which is amazing: the endless supply of amazing radical out-of-this-world medical mysteries).
private practice is something i'm watching 'cos of addison the character and tim daly the actor. (:

i miss lost.

and the thing that makes me laugh these days: tina fe*y as sarah pa*lin. tina fe*y has the best and most spot-on impersonation of the veep candidate and she's hilarious! watching her exaggerate every wink, silly, dumb-"blonde", incoherent, incompetent, answer-evading move of sarah pa*lin is hilarious. she even talks like her and has the same twang. which i find the most annoying. tina fe*y is so gifted she totally deserves her Emmy.

***

well school is turning into madness. i'm trying to stay afloat in the midst of all of it. i am consciously reminding myself that my strength is not enough and not perfect for this, and by His grace and love, that my weakness is made perfect in HIS strength. and that wisdom is more important now than ever.

strength and wisdom. the subject of my prayers of late.

i just finished writing an article on Trust for the ypg website, and i'm very glad i did it. through the writing, i find myself even more convicted in my trust in the Lord that He will see me through my days. and these days are times i need it more than ever.

next week is madness week. i have something due EVERY DAY of the week. be it presentationS/teaching/assignmentS. and i know the only way to go through it and do it well is to keep my eyes, ears, heart and mind on the Lord and His Word. (:

mel shared this verse with me and i truly found it encouraging, so it shall be my verse of the week.

"I would have lost heart,
unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!"
- Psalm 27:13-14

an open letter.

2008-10-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

Dear McCain/Palin supporters,

please stop your personal attacks.
please stop your racist remarks.
please stop thinking that oba*ma is a terrorist.
please stop shouting "treason!" or (ob*ama is a)"terrorist!" at your rallies.
please stop pointing fingers at your fellow countrymen.
please stop laughing at someone (bi*den) who lost his family to an accident and choked up while speaking about it at a national debate.

and elisa*beth hasse*lback: you need to learn to control yourself on TV and stop trying to talk louder than 4 other ladies. your show is NOT a shouting match or an obam*a-bashing/anti-ob*ama republican convention.

you all need to stop before you turn this campaign into a racial bloodshed of hurtful words, ideas and violence. this is not world war III.

love,
a concerned citizen of the world.

***

was reading a Newsweek article written by the dean of LKY school of public policy: how the american presidential campaign is the most undemocratic election around. because the 200 million odd voters vote for a president, he and his administration and policies will affect the 6.6 billion people living on this earth.

talk about irony.

the realization.

2008-10-02T07:17:00.000-07:00

today i got the most hilarious text from F.

"How an airhead like Palin gets to be VP candidate is beyond me. Geez talk about clueless."

here's to hoping she gets bombed by Biden in the VP debates happening in less than 12hrs.

***

i really don't get it: why americans don't understand that if they do not help their banks tide over this financial crisis, they will suffer even more in the long run, even more than subprime and rising costs of living, when the economy cannot be recovered and we slip into another Great Depression.

considering how much money you have let bush spend in the middle east, fighting 2 futile wars and losing thousands of lives, this bailout plan is peanuts. just pass that da** bill and save your banks. and stop bickering for goodness' sake.

when time resets.

2008-10-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

in last week's season 5 opening episode of grey's anatomy, a car accident in a freak ice strom in seattle left 3 women shattered. one had to admit to her best friend that she has been sleeping with her best friend's husband. that cheating husband lost his ability to speak. the 3rd one lost her husband and she herself suffered a huge brain injury.

her brain injury now permanently resets her memory every 30 seconds to the time before the crash. every 30 seconds she asks her friends what happened, because she doesn't remember anything after the accident.

for awhile, her friends told her,
"you have been in a car accident."
"where's my husband?"
"he died."

until one time one of the doctors replied differently.
"he's on his way to the hospital. he's coming."

and for the next 20 seconds, she is happy. even when the truth is far from it.

and i got to thinking about time and memories. memories that we have is what makes life meaningful. purposeful. meredith grey's mother was afflicted with Alzheimer's disease, and was trapped in the memories of her youth. she barely recognizes her own daughter, alienates everyone in her life. and i wonder if that is living.

this woman has her memory reset every 30 seconds. and even when her husband is dead, this information will only make her sad for 20 seconds. and now for the rest of her life, she has to be taken care of by other people till her brain is corrected, or till she dies.

and it reminds me that our human mind is central to all things. the way we live, think, act, behave, play, interact, love. the human mind has invented, engineered, created the things around us, gone to space, split the atom, harness the power of the sun, extend life expectancy, made cars that go at 300kmh, trains that travel at the speed of sound, sent probes to the far reaches of our galaxy.

yet it is also simply the gateway to a relationship with God and salvation, and also the gateway to sin and the clutches of the evil one. the mind is the mastermind behind man's sinful nature - tearing apart the world that He has created and falling away from the love of His Creator.

if our mind is at the crux of our living and existence, and when it is lost altogether, are we still living?

shall i compare thee to a summer's day?

2008-09-26T00:19:00.000-07:00

the fading of a summer's day
coastline of santa barbara, california

as i was browsing around and searching for a poem to read and present in communication skills class, i came across several that left me pondering about literature and the use of poems to convey emotions and ideas and knowledge.

in the opening episode of this season of heroes, mohinder suresh narrates his usual epilogue consisting entirely the poem "the second coming" by yeats. and the poem is SO deep and full of meaning that i'm sure the average viewer will not bother to dissect. besides i have trouble relating the plot arcs that are set up in the episode to the poem.

anyway, the poem was way too scary and depressing so i didn't want to read that in class (although one classmate read something along the same lines). i went for the other extreme - love poems. (: and after looking through several by blake and all, i chose a sonnet by william shakespeare.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date;

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee."

- Sonnet XVIII, William Shakespeare

it's a beautiful poem and i really like it. (: it makes me feel happy and warm.

***

the many lessons on metacognition, constructivism, educational psychology, philosophy of science and etc. have been leaving me with so many thoughts lately. sometimes i don't even know where to start. having thoughts is one thing, collecting them to put in a coherent manner is another.

let me sort out my life first.

an alien vine, i am.

2008-09-16T08:39:00.000-07:00

paris's one and only vineyard in the district of montmarte;
paris, france

pastor's pre-YAG seminar message on saturday has been on my mind since saturday. as i drive to school on my own everyday, it's the times that i have for myself. to escape from the realities of life and growing up into adulthood. to assume responsibilities and all that jazz.

well anyway something struck me (and all at ypg3-yag meeting) speechless.

"Yet I had planted you a noble vine,
a seed of highest quality.
How then have you turned before Me
Into the degenerate plant of an alien vine?"
- Jeremiah 2:21

there were many instances recorded when we have failed. Jeremiah wrote this about Israel, Isaiah wrote this about Judah, Paul wrote this about the Corinthian church. these are 3 examples that i know of, which means there are many others.

but they all have the same idea. that we have been made in God's image. we are God's work, and He meant for us to be "a noble vine, and seeds of the highest quality", giving the best fruits, grapes. something along the way made us stumble and fall. we degenerate spiritually and fall away from God our Creator. and i'm suddenly made aware of this dire fact.

we forgot that we are meant to be partakers of the divine nature. that divine nature that God has placed in everyone of us. i'm constantly rebuked (by myself) when i see Pastor's life and work and ministry. i'm really thankful for his example and his willingness to help us correct our lives and teach and guide us to live the life God has planned for us. to always seek to imrpove our spiritual life and keep track of our walk with the Lord.

hence i'm really excited about the upcoming seminar. (:

democracy and education.

2008-09-12T22:55:00.000-07:00

so it is widely known that singapore students excel in science and math, and often clinch top prizes at international competitions.

many countries seek to learn from singapore's education system.

so a delegation from the US came along, asking what is the secret to our success in educating our kids.

my brilliant professor quipped,

"we don't practice democracy."

history lessons.

2008-09-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

i realize that one of my i'm-too-busy-and-stressed coping mechanisms, among many others, is to write about my travels and look at my photos. plus i'm really looking forward to japan in december and wearing winter clothes again. (:

here are my snaps of berlin, germany. to help me cope with the 5-6 deadlines-a-week NIE life.

the very majestic brandenburg gate.
site of many historic moments of germany.
constructed in 1700s, it survived 2 world wars and is still standing tall in relatively good conditions. it was site of the armies allied forces marching to meet the nazis, part of the berlin wall separating east berlin from west berlin.

there's a fascinating story regarding the brandenburg gate, the french embassy in berlin and the french. the square surrounding the gate is called pariser platz, which means paris square.
the statue at the top of the gate is victoria, the goddess of victory, which replaced the goddess of peace after germany defeated france in the prussian war in 1800s. and victoria is fixing her gaze on the building on pariser platz that is the...

french embassy.
plus a similar statue rests on an arc in paris,
just a stone's throw away from the louvre.
the arc du tromphe du carroussel.

i love the greek columns.

a silky terrier (?) on our walking tour.
this little guy sits down and rests when our tour guide, rachel was telling us stories and historical facts. he got a little tired after awhile.

usually i forget why i take a photograph if it was something ordinary. but i never forgot this, 'cos it was where Hitler's bunker used to be. the very same bunker where he and his wife committed suicide by ingesting cynanide the day allied forces bombed berlin.

now, there are no remaining monuments or historical artifacts that are related to hitler existing. the bunker was destroyed along with everything he owned. to prevent neo-nazis from building a shrine or place of "worship". what was scary was that on his death anniversary last year, somebody threw rose petals all over this sidewalk.

peeking into the former air force headquarters of the nazi forces.
now the building is a government office, i think the ministry of tax.

standing in the former death strip,
a strip of land between the 2 walls of the berlin wall.
snipers and soldiers guard this strip 24/7 and shot anybody who tries to cross it.
of course, there were a few success escapes.
the stories we heard from our walking tour guide immensely interesting.
i really couldn't type them all out here.
i remember one involving a guy who traded a west berlin girl (he picked up and romanced) to free his girlfriend trapped in east berlin, only to be thrown into jail (both of them) 'cos the traded girl was the daughter of a high-ranking government official.
another involved driving a very short convertible under the barrier gates of checkpoint charlie (photo below).

of course, the events that led to the fall of the berlin wall were also SO fascinating, even though XH fell asleep. (: one guy's PR mistake led to the reunification of germany - is a story that should be made known to everyone.

checkpoint charlie.
a border crossing used by americans, allied forces and foreigners.
and no charlie is not the name of the guy that founded the checkpoint.
it's just the military alphabet thingy.
alpha, beta, charlie, delta.
this is the 3rd of 8 border crossings.

a monument for the mothers of soldiers who perished in the world wars.
with an open roof, the mother looks as if she's crying when it rains.

the berlin cathedral,
located on an island within berlin,
called museum island.
it's greenish tinge exterior reminds me of the statue of liberty.
well it was bombed by the allied forces during WWII, but is now restored.

the traffic light man!
a national campaign to get their children to observe traffic light rules,
they redesigned their traffic light man to this cute guy.
and then very smartly, launched all kinds of memorbilia and an official store.

the tv-tower of berlin.
my travel mates strike a pose.
don't know what the C sisters are doing. (:

this is AK, chilling out on a chair on the sidewalk,
while the girls check out a vintage store.
but it seems that they are leaving without us. hmmm.

lessons from the world.

2008-08-29T01:58:00.000-07:00

meet charlie wilson.

as the democrat texas congressman in the 1980s and a member of the house appropriations committee, he planned, led and executed the biggest and most expensive covert operations which resulted in the end of the soviet-afghan war, and later the cold war.

honestly, you would think that the man who triggered the events that led to such an important historical moment would be remembered, but hardly any americans have heard of him till the movie, charlie wilson's war came out.

confession: i only bought the dvd 'cos i know it's directed by mike nichols, written by aaron sorkin and helmed by tom hanks, which ensured that it'll be a good movie.

but as with any good, well-written, well-shot movie, tv series or book, it taught me and enriched my knowledge of things that i normally would care less about.

so if you're curious, charlie wilson used black appropriations and secretly funded and aided the muja*hideen in afghanistan to drive away that soviets from their country. he got afghan neighbours of israel, pakistan to help with supplying of weapons and vehicles to aid the mujah*ideen. all in secret. he was driven by what he saw at the refugee camps, and frustrated with the CIA's lukewarm position on the war and not doing anything, and hence decided to take matters into his own hands, helped along by CIA middle-east expert and a texas wealthy socialite.

in the end, the once-weak and helpless muj*ahideen freedom fighters and afghan civilians now fought back with much ferocity, to the surprise of the soviets, forcing them to retreat and exit the country.

this marked the first of US foreign policy. funding the anti-communists. then after it is over, they just wash their hands of the blood and leave.

charlie wilson, after appropriating US$1billion for that war, now asks for a tiny fraction more to aid the afghans to rebuild their country. afghanistan was left in tatters. no schools, homes, roads, infrastructure.

the author of the book which the movie was based on, charlie wilson's war, said that this has led to a power vacuum in afghanistan. and this vacuum gave rise to the rise of the tali*ban and osa*ma bin lade*n. together with the weapons, money and military equipment left over from the cold war, the tal*iban was able to rise from the ashes to what it is today, inadvertently leading to the uprising of terrorism and 9/11.

it's really interesting to think about what america can learn from this and apply it to the wars it started in afghanistan and iraq now. which has prompted barack obama to talk about the withdrawal of troops slowly from mid-east and exiting from the region in a responsible manner; while bush is still wanting to send 10,000 more troops there.

it's also interesting to note the idea of freedom fighters. someone once told me, "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter". if you look from another perspective, aren't the suicide bombers who are killing US soldiers doing it to drive away the US from their lands, just like how the mujahideen were trying to drive away their soviet occupiers?

***

today in ST's review section, was an article from new york times. a sharp, insightful commentary on the rise of china and the continued diminishing of US as a global superpower. he compares arriving in dodgy, rundown la guardia airport in NYC and driving through the busy, dirty streets with rundown buildings of queens and manhattan to the big shiny spanking new beijing int'l aiport, getting to the clean beautiful city on the maglev train within an hour. which i can attest to 'cos i've experienced the shabbiness of la guardia and the shine of china's rising cosmopolitan cities.

the world is slowly showing america that it is no longer the superpower. russia's defiance with the georgia conflict, china's rapid rise, india's booming economy, singapore, tiny singapore, investing in its biggest corporations to save them from bankruptcy.

the writer ends by asserting that it's time for america to start rebuilding itself. to turn its attention, money and resources inwards and focus on the crumbling american society where millions have no access to quality education, healthcare, health insurance, in the midst of rising costs of living, high gas prices, the housing market going down, inflation and living under the threat of inadequate gun control and domestic terrorism.

the question: while america goes repair its wounds, is china prepared to assume the role of the global superpower? no doubt it is plagued with 10000 problems of its own. the poverty in its rural areas, the corruption, the backward social graces, the exploding population, the rebuilding of its inner cities and areas hit by disasters, the unrest in western china.

somehow i wish the UN would be the answer. a neutral organization where every country is represented, where everyone pools its resources to help one another. where everyone chips in to help an afflicted country. an organization empowered by every citizen of this world to look after them. like an international government. if we can have the olympics, the world bank, the european union, the hague, why can't the UN do its job?

if barack obama's rise to his clinching of the democratic presidential nomination teaches us anything, it is that any person can become who he/she wants to be, you just gotta defy all odds, exceed all expectations, and work your butt off.

if charlie wilson's war teaches us anything applicable and useful to our small lives, it is that every person is empowered to make a difference.

if i can teach you anything, it is that this difference we all make, can be as small as putting a smile on a friend's face, caring about another, loving one another in spite of our differences. while history does not have space for all of us to do something unprecedented and amazing, i know these things we do not only can change opinions, hearts, minds and lives, i know it's precious in God's sight. (:

gloomy and quirky.

2008-08-28T07:43:00.000-07:00

the next city to host the olympics. today's ST has an opinion written by neil humphreys which was hilarious. i love his writings. he takes a dig at the 8-min strange "quirky" presentation team GB did at the closing ceremony, david beckham (moving to LA, still promoting britain, and kicking the soccer ball really lamely into the field of volunteers), the dismal city infrastructure and congestion and human-traffic. oh well, china pulled it off against all odds and criticism. so i'm sure they can pull it off.

and meanwhile, in the midst of the 10000 deadlines i have in school, 10000 readings and assignments and having to travel to siberia everyday in the week, i dream about travelling again. (:

along river thames, on london bridge. (:

taking a break.
guess what we used to play indian poker - train tickets.
you gotta applaud our improvisation.

now that's NOT london bridge.
london bridge looks really ordinary (like our esplanade bridge).
this nice-looking one is tower bridge.

at big ben, and you see our conquests from absolute vintage.

from the fences of the parliament house. we stayed around to hear the big ben chime 7 times. (:

westminster abbey. we didn't go in though, a service was going on.

buckingham palace on a really gloomy wet day.
and they cancelled the changing of the guard ceremony. :(

so to entertain ourselves, we tried 1000 to fit all of us, a camera under an umbrella.
this was one of the only successful attempts. (:

the clock doesn't stop running.

2008-08-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

many things happened a year ago, and it seems a long time ago; as opposed to time flies.

time, and life, continues. to live life, we must move on and let go of the past that threatens to grip us and keep us trapped in that bubble of the shoulda, woulda, coulda.

i was reading back my blogposts from those times and it was really a time where God's leading saw me through. prayers were answered and i sometimes forget that prayer works. it really does.

i see mr. and mrs. ho in church sometimes, and i recently said bye to them one sunday. and the 1-year anniversary of si qiu's homegoing was near and i was thinking about it quite often this month. i looked at them and i wonder what goes on in their hearts and minds. i look at siyu and i wonder if he misses his brother.

i wonder what kind of courage and faith it takes to reconcile with the Lord after such a heart-breaking event. to know and trust in His will and plan for all of us. to continue in the walk with the Lord, to run the race with more determination, resilience and certainty. to let go of anger, rage, blame and the questions that no one can answer.

"Instead of asking, "Why did it happen?"
Think of where it can lead you from here.
And as your pain is slowly easing,
You can find a greater reason
To live your life triumphant through the tears.

When answers aren't enough, there is Jesus.
He is more than just an answer to your prayer.
And your heart will find a safe and peaceful refuge
When answers aren't enough He is there.
He is there."

the olympics muses.

2008-08-24T07:09:00.000-07:00

the olympic games have managed to do the unthinkable and impossible - make me feel proud to be a chinese-singaporean. i think such things are designed for such patriotic feelings to arise from deep inside; feelings that you never thought you had.

from the amazing, jaw-dropping opening ceremony to the slightly less exciting, but with moments of brilliance, closing ceremony. the hard work that china has brought to the table. the amount of energy and dedication of the more than a million volunteers at the games. a million!! that's 1/4 of our population.

(now how are we going to pull off the youth olympic games? am i the only one with scary doubts right now?)

it's really hard to imagine what goes on behind the scenes. the mayhem and chaos and confusion of tens of thousands of people. so many events, sports, athletes from 204 countries, their coaches, officials, VIPs, judges, umpires, volunteers, crowd control, ticketing, and you-know-the-list-goes-on-and-on.

hence, am very proud of china, beijing. a country that was closed to the world till recently. who rose from the depths of poverty and communism to its global economic and military superpower position today. a country where my grandparents were from.

and having visited china so many times, been to so many cities, china has been seriously misunderstood by the world, and these games was a great opportunity to show the world what it really is. but you really have to be there to feel it. to clear away pre-conceived notions of what it is, to broaden minds and seek to learn. the major cities of china are comparable to san francisco, london, rome, new york, los angeles, sydney and they are actually very hip! (: if you're on a budget, watch discovery travel and living.

however, no country is perfect and china is still laden with povertyand its many problems like education and sanitation in its rural areas (cynics: so is middle america, russia, eastern europe, africa, india). my mum likes to tell me stories of chinese athletes that she reads in the newspapers (fyi: she reads the newspapers cover to cover, including the NTUC/cold storage ads). and how the olympic gymnastics double rings apparatus gold medalist from china trained on 2 simple rings that his father installed on the door of their small small flat when he was young, because they were so poor. and how feng tianwei is going to use the money from the medal to pay for her mum's house in china.

these stories of resilience, dedication, discipline, filial piety, respect - some very chinese values, are really warm and hopeful. (: hope of a country on its rise towards a better future, much like america in the 80s and 90s. and they're catching up. fast.

i really appreciate the theme for the 2008 games - one world, one dream. and at least for 16 days in beijing and neighbouring cities, the people from all over the world, from as north as finland and russia to as south as argentina and south africa, to as remote as the islands of the south pacific, atlantic, indian oceans - they came and competed fairly and professionally, with the only yardstick they knew.

faster, higher, stronger. or citius, altius, fortius if you like latin. (:

i like that despite everything that's going on in the world, the georgia-russia conflict, the war in iraq and afghanistan, the human rights issues in darfur, the mayhem in pakistan, people from these countries stood side by side and showed great sportsmanship.

i wrote about the politicizing of the olympic games many months ago and i'm glad that it was all talk. geo*rge bu*sh and nic*hloas sark*ozy showed up after all, although i'm positive china couldn't care less if they attended or not. (:

onto my favorite swimmer of the moment (used to be ian thorpe many many years ago). mr. michael i-listen-to-my-ipod-and-jump-into-the-pool-and-break-7-world-records-then-go-eat-pizza phelps. i'm just really in awe of him and his neverending wingspan. but more than that, the unsung hero of the US swim team is jason lazek who brought home the bacon (ok gold) for the relay events and made phelps the hero that he is.

and feng tian wei. i almost bit off my nails and threw my pillow at the screen watching the table-tennis semis on tv. she, jiawei and wang yuegu put us on the medal tally. and only 87 countries out of the 204 that took part is on that tally. (:(: and i really don't care if they aren't born-and-bred singaporeans. i've seen chinese people play for US, croatia, netherlands, some african countries and many more. please open your eyes and look at our globalized world. (one world, one dream, remember? actually the better translation would be the same world, that same dream.)

i shall not spoil my nice blogpost by writing about the horrifying mediacorp-programme today in beijing and its incompetent, incoherent, stumbling-over-words, swearing female host. i've lost all faith in mediacorp local programming anyway.

4 years later, it's london 2012. and they have a very high standard set by the chinese to live up to. and i really wish them all the luck, 'cos i cannot imagine an olympic games held in that busy tight, crowded and gloomy city that is london.

meanwhile, there's the youth olympics to be concerned with. and hopefully it'll be just as good as beijing's.

the little red book.

2008-08-22T00:39:00.000-07:00

i'm finally saying farewell to my passport which has served me well over the last 9.5 years. i can still remember heading to the old ICA building at geylang when i was in sec 2, needing my own passport to go on the band trip to perth, australia. my first time travelling without my parents, was exciting yet scary. it's a long story and i can still remember the details of my trip. performing, feeding camels, exploring the UWA campus, buying rubbish, feeding the swans, shopping on hay street, making friends with other band peeps from the 3/4 other schools we were travelling with.

well the travelling bug caught up with me as i grew older, obviously, having more spending power and being more aware of the world. my hole-puncher-punchered passport now has:-

22 malaysia chops (11 trips)
2 thailand chops (1 trip)
6 australia chops (3 trips)
1 australia visa
10 china chops (5 trips)
1 china visa
4 hongkong chops (2 trips)
the japan landing permission sticker and narita chop
2 korea chops (1 trip)
1 US student visa and department of homeland security exit chop
1 canada chop (which served for 2 trips into and out of canada)
1 london heathrow chop
1 berlin airport chop
2 paris chops
many invisible chops in the EU countries.

ok i shan't complain. i'm blessed with opportunities to travel and see the world. to learn and love people, culture, differences and history.

hopefully my new little red book will be filled with many other chops. and i'm super excited about my first chop to japan yay! (:(:

morning madness.

2008-08-19T17:59:00.000-07:00

today i took 1.5 hours to get from simei to NTU, instead of the usual 35minutes.

all because of a bus and motorcycle accident.

i was so pissed 'cos i left home 1 hr before class. thinking that i'll sure be earlier this time.

in the morning the entire singapore goes crazy. PIE alone has 3 separate jams.

so i was sitting in my car and i thought of things to be thankful for.

the trees and sights i never saw along the greeny areas of PIE.

the morning sun rising high.

the Lord's protection that surrounds me.

You are.

2008-08-17T08:35:00.000-07:00

On the train from interlaken to luzern, switzerland.

You are -

holy, faithful
Savior, friend
all i'll ever need

every question's answer
every reason why
moving, yet still

"glory, hallelujah"
hope of peace on earth
alpha and omega

comfort, refuge
love personified
kindness, compassion

Lord on high
the way, the truth, the life
the Word made flesh
the bright morning star

You are.

it's a beautiful night.

2008-08-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

(National Space Science Data Center/NASA)

look at our beautiful earth at night. (:

what are we doing to it?

postcards from london.

2008-08-11T00:27:00.000-07:00

london didn't live up to my lofty expectations. but thinking back, i think it was still quite enjoyable, save for the rain that fell lightly and continuously for 2 whole days. i'll always remember london for its vintage finds, prince william, the british accent, way too expensive tube tickets, musicals at west end and jamie bamber. (:

early morning rush hour at a king's cross platform.

blue skies and white fluffy clouds.

the grand and old atrium of the museum of natural history.

a cool afternoon for a stroll at hyde park/kensington gardens.

beach chairs dotting the greenery around the lake.

swans-a-gather at hyde park.

smile for Piccadilly circus! those yellow lots on the monopoly board.

somewhere around leicester square. home of west end.

saturday morning at portobello market. my kind of saturday. (:

home-made quiche, anyone?

tulips, my favorite flower. other than daisies.

the colors of portobello.

am currently in the middle of a battlestar galactica marathon. another smart and witty series, because i'm a geek, this is sci-fi and i love it. the show reached cult status, much like star trek (which i cannot appreciate) and lost (which i find so intriguing). within 2 weeks, i'm at the home stretch of its 4th and final season, with the 2nd half of the season airing next year. there's much to think about the issues raised by the show - politics, war, existentialism, religion, race, genocide, sexuality, violence and morality.

why no dark knight?

2008-08-05T10:30:00.000-07:00

overheard, after watching the dark knight:

at the traffic light between tampines mall and tampines mrt station.
august 5th 2008
11.30pm

"eh, why the movie only got batman and no dark knight ah?"

haha.

scotland's highlands.

2008-07-31T01:42:00.000-07:00

edinburgh, with snaps of the scottish highlands.

on calton hill. a lonely tree stands.
calton hill was a great place for my melancholy shots.

here, nelson's monument again.

and the national monument.

everyone, meet hamish, the highland cattle.
actually, hamish is a generic scottish name.
much like tom, dick, and harry for americans.

hamish here is absolutely hilarious and adorable. (:
and highland cattle are native to the scottish highlands.

a hybrid tulip growing in a farm where hamish lives, near perth.

for the entire day's drive, this is what we see.
just mountains, green pastures, rivers, lakes and the occasional castle.

as much as i wanted to, i can't remember the names of these places.
they offer sweeping views of valleys and mountains.
and the vastness of it all just reminds me of the vastness of God's love.

"For I am so persuaded that neither death nor life,
nor angels nor principalities nor powers,
nor things present nor things to come,
nor height nor depth,
nor any other created thing,
shall be able to separate us from the love of God
which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
- Romans 8:38-39

anyway, i can tell you that we headed north out of edinburgh,
to Dunkeld, a small town in a region called perth.
passing by the Forth Bridge, filming locations of the famous BBC tv drama,
"monarch of the glen".
we passed many lochs (say laww-kks with your throat),
including loch laggan.
lochs are lakes, in gaelic,
the ancient language of scotland and ireland.
we also passed fort augustus, a small town by a huge loch.
very charming and pretty and quiet.

love the nature. (:

the commando monument.
built to remember the soldiers of the elite force
who trained in this part of the highlands during the 2nd world war.
they were established by sir winston churchill
when britain was at the losing end of the war.

the mysterious and famous loch ness.
on board our cruise was sonar and don't-know-what-other-fancy-gadgets
to try and scan the depths of the lake for the mysterious monster.
i really don't know where to stand.
to believe or not to believe.
much like bigfoot in america.

anyway the equipment allowed us to see the depths of the lake,
was pretty cool to see that the lake plunges several meters
deeper in the center than its 2 sides.
did i mention i love physical geography? (:

other than the monster, which last reported sighting was a few months ago,
the lake was so beautiful and quiet and vast.
it's unthinkable that a beast would lurk in these waters.

alright, we also went pass fort william, a bigger town, but still very pretty.
and ben navis, the highland's highest mountain.
and glencoe, the town where a huge massacre took place in the 1600s.
which was also a filming hotspot for many movies,
including harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban.

speaking of which, the famous bridge where harry almost fell out of the flying car trying to catch up with the train to hogwarts in harry potter and the chamber of secrets.
the bridge is in the scottish highlands.
but too far away for my tour to go to. :(

alright, we also passed the rob roy country and the stirling castle,
a very important castle of the kings of scotland in the past.

and then we headed back to edinburgh.
tired but a lot smarter on the history of scotland. (:

p.s. i still find the scottish accent hard to understand when they talk really fast.
which happens a lot.

the intangible.

2008-07-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

Jesus said to him, “Thomas,because you have seen Me, you have believed.
Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book;

but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.

- John 20:29-31

it's refreshing to be reminded once again.

wicked news. (:

2008-07-20T23:50:00.000-07:00

for all wicked lovers out there,

this is absolute joy!

~

it's a rainy day and i'm at the NIE campus. i need some time to settle myself down and prepare for classes all over again next week. the cycle of lectures/tutorials/group projects/GESL (don't ask.)/2500-word essays/research has descended upon me again.

welcome to NIE.

edinburgh.

2008-07-17T18:01:00.000-07:00

disaster strikes on a new day in scotland.

my camera was drowned in water.

hence pictures here were taken with the Nokia N95 8GB camera,

5mp with a carl zeiss lens.

edinburgh is a beautiful city.

it's old, so rich in history and culture and music and traditions. stories and legends.

its people are friendly, laid-back and the city has a relaxing vibe to it.

they celebrate their history and embrace their traditions.

the love the tartans, bagpipes and legends. and the whisky.

do NOT spell whisky as whiskey in scotland, for you will get frowns and disdain from the scots. they hate american whiskEy. (:

scott momument; edinburgh city center, along princes street.

princes street gardens. good day to chill in the sun and read a book.

along royal mile, the scotch whisky experience.

a museum showcasing all about the scotch whisky (no E!)

the mills of the tartan factory. the exhibition also shows the different tartan patterns of the different scottish clans, including the macDougals (ie. SATC fans, charlotte's ex-husband) and many other scots we know in hollywood.

edinburgh castle guard. protectors of the castle, in klits.

a canon fires at 1pm everyday. it used to inform the army and navy of the time, back in the days without watches and clocks. and firing at 1pm, instead of 12pm, will save them a lot of money. how smart.

a young canadian guy asked my guide,

"so what time is the 1pm gun salute?"

"oh, it's 30minutes after 1230pm"

"oh ok." guy replies, very satisfied with my guide's answer.

the royal mile, runs from the castle for a scottish mile (1.8km)

overlooking the train station from a street near the royal mile.

the scottish parliament building, with its cutting-edge,

hard-to-understand avant-garde architecture.

outside the parliament building. the plateau/hills, called Arthur's seat, was part of an ancient volcano that edinburgh is sitting on.

and people can climb up and admire the views of the city.

a sweeping view of princes street gardens.

calton hill. i love this photo a lot. (:

partial view of the city on calton hill. part of Arthur's seat.

edinburgh city.

flowers bloom in spring.

a peek at Nelson's monument on calton hill.

nelson's momument.

for admiral horatio nelson, commander of british fleets during the napolean wars, the battle of trafalgar.

part of the inscription writes,

"...not to express their unavailing sorrow for his death; nor yet
to celebrate this matchless glories of his life; but, by his noble example, to
teach their sons to emulate what they admire, and, like him, when duty requires
it, to die for their country."

a peek at the (unfinished) national monument.

the national momument, looks suspiciously like the parthenon in athens.

built for the people who died in the napoleanoic wars.

dripping with satire.

2008-07-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

everyone is in uproar over the cover of the latest new yor*ker cover.

(AP/new yorker)

well, only in america, can such a picture run on the cover of a well-respected magazine. the first ammendment can really be a pain. in sharp contrast, singapore takes you to court with its best lawyers and sucks you dry.

anyway, most people took it the opposite way that it was intended. even the oba*ma campaign. disgusted by the radical protrayal of the rumors and myths and lies that ob*ama's (right-wing and far-right-wing) opponents have tried to spread, disguising it as political satire; with the message of the politics of fear being used by his opponents, that oba*ma is muslim, anti-america, pro-middle-east, and even dragging michelle oba*ma into the cauldron of fire.

and one article on huffington post i read, praised the courage of the new yo*rker staff, for raising the standard of public debate by bringing the issues surrounding the elections and oba*ma himself up 1000 levels. by throwing this cover into the world, everyone is commenting, blogging, with the 24-hr media news cycle going at it, providing a platform for the issues to be raised and cleared of their doubts and truths be surfaced and lies banished. political commentators are forced to re-examine the facts and truths and separate them from the lies myths and rumors. in a way, if the hand if played carefully and correctly, it could well work its advantage to the obama campaign.

judging by the number of articles on the this very subject everywhere in the news (well, everywhere except the str*aits times), i'd say this huffpost writer is spot on. and i incline to agree, with apprehension. i do hope it plays well to oba*ma's advantage, and that despite the cover, americans can be trusted to look beyond the surface (well, after being offended and closing their jaws) and consider the candidates in a truthful light, not as painted by the media. and vote wisely!!

anyway i went on to read the very long article in the new yor*ker about bar*ack oba*ma. it's a good read, with plenty of ancedotes and quotes and insights into his life, before and after he was senator and presidential candidate. and i love this.

“Some people who knew of my activism in the community asked me would I be
interested in running for that office,” Obama said in Ames. “And so I did what
every wise man does when confronted with such a decision: I prayed on it, and I
asked my wife.”

speaking of obam*a, there's this cute interview with the obama* family, with their 2 daughters and is available on youtube. the daughters dish embarrassing stories about their dad and it's really sweet. (: link here.

alright. i have more time on my hands in school than you can even imagine. hence the increase in blogging, and surfing news websites. (:

scotland's princes and castles.

2008-07-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

i start my journey at london's king's cross station,
looking for cheap lunch and platform 9 3/4
and boarding the train at the wrong coach. (:

my train journey was greeted by fatigue from the long flight,
hunger from the reluctance to spend precious pounds on food,
heavy backpacks,
and the beautiful scenery outside.

little huts, cows grazing, sheeping chilling,
fields of endless yellow flowers,
daisies, perhaps.

the reservation slip peeks out behind my seat.
all ready for my 5 hr train journey from london's king's cross to scotland.

the flowers start blooming in spring.

the ruins of st. andrew's cathedral.
it's a little haunting, quiet, yet strong.

a sidewalk in the small university town at sunset.

the campus in the day. physics and astronomical sciences.

the beaches of st. andrew's at sunset.

there's something lovely and romantic about
such inscriptions on benches.
this bench faces the sea, and it's just serene sitting there.

part of university of st. andrew's campus.

st. andrew's cathedral and the cloudy sky.

this beautiful world i know.

2008-07-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.

I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in New York City
And I don't know why.

Are we listening?
Hymns of offering.
Have we eyes to see?
Love is gathering.

All the words that I've been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding
Into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
While the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.

It's the world I know.
- collective soul

many insights to education.

and it's comforting that i see the work of selfless individuals,

working to change lives, one student at a time.

“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."

- Deuteronomy 6:6-7

back to the future.

2008-06-24T08:40:00.000-07:00

"Make me walk in the path of Your commandments,
for I delight in it.
Incline my heart to Your testimonies,
And not to covetousness."
- Psalm 119:35-36

going back to school is no easy feat.
6-hr sleep days.
meetings after school.

strength from the Lord.

the end of an era.

2008-06-22T02:42:00.000-07:00

been feeling sort of quiet and whimsical of late.

returning to a home of comfort and familiarity deeply contrasts with the nomadic lifestyle of discovery and learning when i traveled through europe for a month. it was truly a great trip, with lots of things to see and do, going from city to city, meeting interesting people, and witnessing the grace of God in cities with notorious dangers of robbery, kidnap, pickpocketing, fraud and so much more. and seeing the Lord's hand of guidance, as well as His creations being crafted out in the form of the mountains and valleys, rivers and lakes, flora and fauna, the stories of former great kings and the stories of the Bible, coming alive right in front of your eyes. and these are just the highlights of the the highlights. more to come as i blog city by city.

returning home was sad. especially when your last stop was the beautiful city of paris. when asked (at the effiel tower, no less) what were his thoughts on returning home after his graduation trip, my new-found s'porean friend succinctly replied in one word, "depressing". (:

well, i returned to reality. reality equals admin work, enrolling in NIE, going through a teacher preparatory program at NIE before starting my 1-month stint at temasek secondary. i wonder what are the repercussions of me going into teaching. would i have to give up my lifestyle of blogging and facebooking and chilling out at pubs? would my students respect me more or less? the education scene in singapore is rapidly changing and i wouldn't know until i'm in it. but meanwhile, i have another year of studying to go.

okay, reality also meant catching up on my tv shows grey's, lost, house, american idol and project runway. yep i'm a month behind. and not to mention the SATC movie, which i adored completely and watching it with my sister brought back many fond memories of discovering SATC DVDs and falling in love with the girls and the men and the clothes and the shoes. as well as getting educated about life (and sex).

of course, coming home also meant catching up with friends. i felt detached from everyone at home, even when i received my results and my honors classification, and not knowing what everyone else got. nevertheless, outside of being kaypoh, i love my friends. and it's hard to think about my friends from biological sciences while i flipped through our graduation dinner and dance photos.

it's hard to go from 4 years of playing and studying together to the real world away from the comforts of the walls of our school. but all good things have to end, and i'm glad ours ended in a most thoughtful and positive and hilarious way, not to mention i got sabo-ed onto stage to dance with my kazakhstan friend. and it set the stage for the beginning of our lives, sealed the bond that we had as a class, of 2008. and i'm looking forward to us getting our certs and throwing our mortar boards into the air after convocation.

the land of castles, lochs and klits.

2008-05-22T14:55:00.000-07:00

i left the beautiful country that is scotland and i'm now in the bustling city of london. typing this using the nokia n series tablet n810 at my hostel. well turns out scotland is just as pretty as i thought. my stay at st. andrews was a good escape from the city. the sleepy university town is in the middle of nowhere. edinburgh is a city full of character and culture and a rich history dating back several hundred years, its evidence still prominent all over the city. i love edinburgh, scottish culture and scotsman in klits. and the scottish accent. love my day trip out into the highlands and loch ness. total unspoiled beauty for 320 miles.

well i'll blog more with my photos when i return. g'night.

the appalling ignorance and superiority of some.

2008-05-07T08:46:00.000-07:00

i was reading the reuters photographers blog online and the most recent post by russell boyce talked about the recent cyclone nargis that hit myanmar and the death toll has risen from a mere 200 to 22,000 now. and i'm pretty sure it's grossly underestimated as rescue efforts (try t0) continue and aid and relief (try to) enter the country.

well pastor tells us often about the difficulties of ministering to our bethren in myanmar and even getting a visa to enter myanmar is so difficult. and we haven't received word from them yet, so this waiting is kind of excruciating. and i know the one thing we can do now is to pray. i've been dilligently praying for the people of myanmar, for UN aid workers, especially our church members. and as i prayed also for my FYP presentation, i felt (once again) that my worries of a bad q&a session during the presentation completely pales in comparison to what they are going through.

well anyway, back to the the reuters blog post. the author writes,

"At the end of yesterday I went home believing that a caring world knew about what was going on.
Once at home, after explaining to my 12 year old son why so many had died in a cyclone, I browsed a few of the international news sites to see how the world was reacting to something I felt was the most important news event of the day.

The first blog I read under a slide show of pictures on a major US news site read (I paraphrase as it has been removed now) “why should we care about this dirty little washed up country and who gives a damn anyway”

This comment on the blog chilled me, not because it was there but because it was supported by many other comments."

well, i was totally appalled by the comment. and the fact that it was removed only goes to show how offensive it was. i don't want to assume the nationality of the blogger who wrote that comment, but as a blogger i can safely conclude that he is part of the virtual community and is considerably quite "tech-savvy" and probably well-educated too. and i was shocked that the education that he received and his upbringing could bring him to post such a comment in such harsh words, at a time where people are dying by the tens of thousands due to a natural disaster, (not a war ok). i shudder to think that if more than 4000 US soldiers lost their lives in the iraq war, how many iraqis and other people have lost their lives since then. and think about cyclones and hurricanes and volcanoes (case-in-point that is happening right NOW: chile). for the people in the US, think about hurricane katrina and the south asia tsunami.

i want to tell the blogger in question to imagine if he was born into a family in myanmar, under strict military regime that was not of their own choosing. that what they watch on tv is controlled by their government. that they have no democracy, no freedom, no choice. and tell him he'd probably not know where myanmar is on the world map. or tell me the capital city.

a recent episode of CSI:new york featured the victim as a guy who was building an ark 'cos he was convinced it was the "end of times". in a video, he rattled on several different verses from the Bible and that reminded me again of tragedies and disasters, war and strife. where nations will rise against nations. it's a chilling thought as i look at our world now. all the problems we have.

i've been holding on to these verses in good faith when problems cloud my head. and i know even when my FYP poster presentation didn't go as well as i hoped, or that there are horrible people in this world, or that thousands have perished in disasters, i can trust in His will and His grand plan, in a very micro and macro level.

“Through whom also we have access by faith
into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in
hope of the glory of God.
And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations,
knowing that tribulation produces perseverance.”
Romans 5:2-3

baking warms the heart.

2008-05-04T02:42:00.000-07:00

just one more day. of presenting my poster and FYP to professors and curious people who wonder if zebrafish really have stripes and are amazed that "excited" male and female fish chase one another in the tank, playing the mating game. while i watch nonchalantly for awhile before heading back into the injection room to inject nanodrops of liquid into freshly laid embryos.

well. these days i'm really quite free. so is my sister. hence that contributed to lots of baking.

the first of the lot: first trys french meringue cookies and snickerdoodles (a cookie-like thing covered with granulated sugar and cinammon powder, like churros!). well i managed to save the cookies and they turned out quite well! hence i'm quite proud of myself 'cos meringue stuff are infamously difficult. the snickerdoodles, hmmm, can be improved. hor, justina. (:

the 2nd time, the day after: a sunday afternoon. as if it wasn't warm enough, i was so bored before evening worship service, i decided to bake foolproof-sure-delicious, old-school chocolate chip cookies. true enough, they were just a tad sweet. but still good.

the 3rd time: my 2 sisters and i attempted a bread recipe found in the newspapers. using beer instead of water. beer-battered bread with gruyere cheese, ham and corriander. a very full meal by itself, and not too bad, if you're a fan of cheese.

beer-battered bread with gruyere cheese, ham and corriander

the 4th time: a team of 5 of us. my 2nd zeh, justina, jermaine and hongwee took an afternoon to bake 3 things. quite an achievement i'd say. we baked 2 big loaves of tomato-topped foccacia bread, peanut butter oatmeal bars and chocolate kisses and pecan cookies. they were all good! 'cept for the bread, the other 2 were first-trys too.

zeh's heart-shaped foccacia dough, after a good 15minutes of kneading.

tomato- and mozzerella-topped foccacia bread.

cookies with white-dark chocolate kisses, oatmeal and pecans

forgot to take photo of the peanut butter oatmeal bars. which were really lovely.

well i love baking. (:

speaking of food. on a lazy sunday morning my 2 zehs and i headed to a flea market at dempsey. after buying too many vintage pieces, we headed to jones the grocer for some lunch/tea. in the end, we had breakfast. hur.

smoked salmon with watercress on a toasted bagel.

english breakfast with gourmet sausages, the best scrambled eggs i've ever eaten, grilled tomatoes, bacon, mushrooms and toast.

the best tiramisu i've ever eaten in a long time.

other than that: i'm really glad new episodes of brothers&sisters, lost and grey's anatomy are back, and better than ever. (: the writers' magic pens are back and the episodes are so good. so is american idol. lots of drama, emotional moments, ditzy paula and great talent in the form of david cook!

the screening of the FYPs from NTU's mass comm students was not bad. i honestly expected to be wow-ed. i think so did the people who went with me. and we were kinda wowed by a couple of works. while others fell flat on themselves. hmmm. guess i have high expectations.

well one of them was quite memorable. well not its technicalities of cinematography or production, but its story, which is very heartwarming at its core. coupled with the recent deaths of huiyi and another church member, plus praying for those battling sickness and cancer in church, it was a stark visual reminder of our own morality. and how people need the Lord so much more when faced with difficulties. in the film, i saw how cancer literally ate away a body and its spirit. and how there was this why-me?, followed by a dejected sense of surrendering to fate. and i know a faith in the Lord prepares us for such circumstances. to be strong and to submit to the will of the Lord (the lesson at ypg just yesterday!). and even when faced with death, there is peace, hope, and an eternal life with the Lord in Heaven. (:

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God,
that He may exalt you in due time,
casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
- 1 peter 5:6-7

my faith has conquered fear.

2008-04-24T09:52:00.000-07:00

On My Way Here

I took my first step
On that black and white kitchen floor
I sometimes wonder if that house is even there anymore
I had my first glimpse
Of love when I was five
I watched two people split apart
But still the three of us survived
I've seen the best
I've seen the worst
I wouldn't change what I've been through
I've touched the sky
I've hit the wall
But I did what I had to

*On my way here
Where I am now
I've learned to fly
I have to want to leave the ground
I've fallen hard but I've been loved
And in the end it all works out
My faith has conquered fear
On my way here*

My address has changed
Almost every year
I've found that standing still
Can quickly make a lifetime disappear
I'd rather try and fail
A thousand times denied
And this, whenever you feel pain
It lets you know you're alive
I've been a fool
I've been afraid
Yeah, I've been loved
I've been lied to
I've been wrong
And I've been right
I stood up when I had to

*

No guarantees
I believed that I would find
An open door or a light
To lead me to the other side
I guess that is why

*

vocals by Clay Aiken
music and lyrics by Ryan Tedder (OneRepublic)

conspiracy.

2008-04-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

towards the second half of the 3rd season of the west wing, the Bartlet administration and US security agencies uncovered a terror plot instigated by the defense minister of the fictional middle-east nation of qumar, named abdul shareef. the plan was to blow up the golden gate bridge. qumar, on the surface, was an ally of the US and abdul shareef was scheduled to visit the white house and call on the president and reaffirm their friendship.

president bartlet, his chief of staff leo and "the group of 8", which included the house and senate majority and minority leaders, speaker of the house, chairman of the joint chiefs, NSA advisor, secretaries of state and defense, came to a unanimous decision to assassinate the guy. after much deliberation on bartlet's part, going against his moral standards ("there are moral absolutes") and weighing that against the threat to national security and the security of america and the world. season 3 closed with just 2 words, "take him". against the closing act of "the war of the roses".

so there the alias people, black ops people that i know like sydney bristow and michael vaughn. they landed shareef's plane in the middle of bermuda, killed him. probably scattered his ashes all over and dismantled the plane into 20 different parts and threw them into the ocean. even his pilot had a qumari name and passport, but he's actually an american. that's how thorough those black ops people are.

so the cover story was that shareef's plane went down in the bermuda triangle and was never heard from again.

until a cosmic confluence of events and coincidences and a very savvy reporter called danny concanon figured it out. tracked down the pilot as an american and ran the story at the beginning of season 5. took him 1 year to do it. that story ran against the backdrop of the kidnapping of bartlet's youngest daughter by qumari terrorists/sleeper agents residing in the US. and as news of shareef's assassination juxtaposed against the kidnapping, of course the press asked, is the kidnapping a response and a retaliation towards the assassination.

well, my sister and i know the west wing too well. we've watched it so many times over. and as conspiracy theories surrounding m*as selam*at's escape surface, we can't help but draw parallels to the story arc i just wrote above.

well i skimmed through the reports in today's ST, and we were just talking about the huge number of loopholes in the report. like how in the world did everything work against them on that fateful day. the window's screwed, the CCTV's not working etc.

okay if it was really true, that somehow the fugitive in question is dead, no matter how he died, that this cover-up designed by our government is in the interest of national security, fear of retaliation, fear of more terror plots (maybe our government uncovered a plot to blow up esplanade for example). i'm all for it. and if the US can do it, so can we. (:

to quote president bush, it's the "war against ter-rr", right?

heading home.

2008-04-21T09:34:00.000-07:00

been trying to gather some thoughts on graduation. and one thing that is unchanged is the word "grace". these 4 years have been the best times. it's a time where i got to know the Lord on a much deeper level, and saw my faith and trust in Him grow steadily through the circumstances. His grace has brought me through all things that happened, particularly in the last 4 years. and i'm thankful for His presence, His mercy and goodness, His great love and strength that He gives. i could think of so many instances, day-to-day, that i would not know what to do if i did not have the Lord. those instances happen on a daily basis, and even more so during tough times, like exams and trials, emotional turmoil and the things that happen in life.

so many things have happened. in school, at classes, in hall. at my extra curriculars. volunteering. serving at church's youth choir. going on exchange in the US. travelling. teaching. knowing friends. knowing not-so-friendly people. doing my FYP. at home. the death of siqiu, my unborn niece/nephew, and now huiyi.

today's vigil service for huiyi really struck a chord with my heart. all of us at bethany have been praying for her for some time now as she struggled with pecoma (perivascular epithelioid cell cancers), a rare form of cancer with no cure.

despite not meeting her or knowing her personally and knowing that her time on this earth will end soon, tears came as i watched a video of her photos from young, and listened to t. chiew yen talk about her last days and her gradual coming-of-faith while battling an incurable cancer and the strength she found in the Lord to face death with courage and that peace that she had as she left this earth to be home with the Lord. all these at the tender young age of 24. just a year older than i am.

as i watched her photos flash on screen to corrinne may's "fly away", her life, i noticed, was not that all different from mine. she had great loving parents, a wonderful sister who cared for her while she was sick, she grew up with many friends and she had such great memories. she was a happy, carefree girl, just starting out on her first job out of university. and i realized more and more just how much i want to treasure my life now and live for the Lord. because our time here is so short and unpredictable, just but a fleeting moment.

huiyi writes in her testimony,

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”
-Revelations 21:4-5
by faith, i embrace this hope.

there's a tremendous sense of joy and hope and peace that comes from knowing that we have eternal life in the salvation offered to us so freely. this same joy and hope that we can have when our loved ones are being called home to be with the Lord in Heaven. where everything is beautiful. i know huiyi is there with the Lord, so is siqiu. and that imagery of no more pain, death, sorrow or crying is so amazing. this faith that we can have. this belief. how can we not have and believe?

huiyi's strength to go through the last stage of her life and the peace that she had, evident from her testimony, are just the proof of His grace and strength and the Lord answering prayers. and as i thought about graduation and stepping into a new phase of my life, huiyi will always be in my thoughts.